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Courtney O Nov 2020
find comfort in a lover's hand
find comfort in an unshakeable ground
it's easy when you just walk around
making your way as you go yet
sure of what you want
Courtney O Nov 2020
Reality seems to divert and distort
- when you and I speak
I am confused and can't see straight
but reality never died away
him and me exist

He loves me - I love him back
So what? So what?
Armed with that peace
I will pave my way to the stars.

Everything's gonna be alright
I will slip through the cracks
to meet you at night
They never understood - it's okay,
I'm fine
Courtney O Nov 2020
In freedom you can thrive
you can expand these wings and finally
fly
in freedom you'll reach your peak
but freedom could make you
bruised and a bit
confused, (you see)
but you are free to be,
so just be

freedom is the sweet risk
you need to find what you need
so don't yearn for the chains
instead, run wild till your feet ache
only in freedom does love grow
Courtney O Nov 2020
lovesick girl you will find a home
freedom is soft and freedom is tough
lovesick girl forget what you’ve been taught
burn the wedding dress, set fire to your soul
jump into this pool of strange love!
this gift that leaves you sore
open, born
Courtney O Nov 2020
A contract with a God I signed
A contract with the wide skies
I was a knot - all tense and *******

And I came happily undone
and it feels this twitch is the toll
Hey you ******! Whoever you are
I am neutering you, I am keeping you down
I'm marching for the Sun
Was it Prometheus or was it God?
I paid the price full for those
hidden magic pills
This is the small penalty for being free
Dystonia - for a perfect fit
On how I feel about my neuroleptic created dystonia.
Courtney O Nov 2020
Those are my racing thoughts
That's my guilt, my rabies, my hopeless love
My freedom tears me up but I need it most

Together with you
through all the trouble
because of the trouble
despite the trouble!

I cheated on him with you - why?
I wonder, while we are taking flight
the guilt kicks in, and I think
about how much I hate you, but it's not real
what I hate is I might get caught
I'm repentant but persistent on my sins

You're a deaf beat
on my heart
I don't want to listen, but you're around
You're the articulating sound
and the disconcerting tune

And woe of a sudden
forgets my name
(and I forget hers)
when the blood drips down my legs
"I am safe now"
I am saved, am I?
I ran away to London
and it was so nice
Yet you can't run away from life
Courtney O Nov 2020
Burn!
Burn bright and be a flame

(sure it will make some scared)
Destroy the fetters around your neck!

Fire - the element of warmth
It burns, it burns, in a blaze
or in your home fireplace
but still the same,
does not lose its strength
Domesticity is only learnt
Domesticity - one of my many shades

Take scraps from everywhere,
build yourself with the ashes left
(a rascal with a golden heart)
Burn the chains! Let their shedding
illuminate the way
Dance between the smoke, please don’t choke

Create from your inner heat

unmeasurable degrees

be fed by the world’s steam

Burn everything you need

Give that fire to what makes you feel.
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