Sharing a Seat with You ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
Happy Sunday, Defta. Happy serving on that day.
Yes, that day—December 15, 2024, it turns out!

"For the first time in my life"...

A beautiful Sunday, a bright morning, a clear sky.
Life goes on, meeting many people, days turning from dark to light.
God weaves every life story, through joys and sorrows,
And that is why life has led me to meet you.

December 15, 2024, we met and served together.
I was late to church, yet still, I met you.
You wore black, from your shirt to your pants—like your beautiful hair.
I felt a little shy, but I still gave my best smile.

Carefully, I watched you, yet you seemed happy.
So I let you be, in your happiness—that was enough.
You were free, more relaxed—perhaps nervous, perhaps awkward.
But it seemed like you enjoyed that day—I think, maybe.

If only you knew, Defta...
I long to reach the beautiful harbor within your heart.
With my finest ship, I wish to dock there, to stay there.
Your smile has slain me more than a thousand times.
I fell—fell in love, and love has brought me down...
Right into the sweetness of you.

Sunday Service...
I looked in every direction—west, east, south, and even north.
Inside the church, I found you sitting in the west—right behind me.
I saw you, and for the first time, I decided to go there.
So, I prepared myself, ready to dock that day.

I came with everything I had.
Instead of hiding in shyness,
I gathered my courage—closer, even closer, until I was right beside you.
I let go, I felt happy—it was extraordinary for me,
Leaving my comfort zone, just to feel comfortable with you.

"May I sit here?" I asked…

And you know what? It all happened that day.
Inside the church, we sat side by side—only 2 centimeters apart.
That was so close.
We talked about random things, exchanged certain smiles.
And for sure—I won that day. Yes, I won…
Won against my own fears, my hesitation to approach you.
What do you think, Defta?

For the first time, we shared a Bible,
Shared the Word of God, reading and reflecting together—just the two of us.
God knew it all.
There was no happiness meter,
So I couldn’t measure how happy I was.
But at the core of it—I was happy, truly happy with you.
What about you, Defta?

If only you knew...
The winds of the sea within you and me became one,
Carrying my ship to anchor in the harbor of your heart.
You awakened my courage,
And made me see—you were truly there.
I reached out with all my strength,
And so, I think—you won.

Our smiles—they looked the same if you noticed closely...
Our laughter was different, but free—just like our feelings for each other.
Your hands—soft, gentle, warm—
Made me long to hold them forever.
Your ocean, the waves of your sea,
Have swallowed me whole…
Into a love so deep, immeasurable.

If I have you in the future…
Believe me, we have shared the same things—
And yet, we are different, opposite in ways, in culture, in habits.

If you have me in the future, believe me—
Happiness is not the key,
But the anchor of my loyalty will always hold it steady.

Only with you, we shared the same seat.
Only with me, we saw the world more beautifully.
Only with you, we embraced different waves,
And that made us find and create similarities.

Defta, to me, you are everything I have ever written
Since that day—
Since I first learned to read and count,
Since I first saw the world and learned to distinguish its colors.

Deogifta 17—like your birthday, my sweet lady!

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.
Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻

December 15, 2024 – GKI Bromo, Malang City.

14 December 2024

Ah... I remember that evening, yes, a Saturday evening,
After the rain embraced the dry earth,
Leaving behind the dampness of sweet memories.
I was at church, waiting for the youth Christmas to begin, that evening.

We hadn't met yet—where were you sitting?
What time did you arrive, that evening?
Did you come? Were you late? Or did you fall asleep?
I spent my time enjoying the moment, waiting for you at church.

For a brief moment, both you and I, we were just waiting,
Waiting to arrive, to greet, to talk, to smile, to gaze, to admire.
Hey, Defta? What are you thinking about now?
Am I there in your thoughts? If I am, call out my name in your mind.

The crowd at the end of the story led me to welcome you.
You walked toward me, with that sweet smile, those beautiful eyes—it was you!
I remember, you wore blue with a touch of white.
Maybe I’m wrong, but you were truly dazzling that night, honestly!

I saw you, walking so gracefully with your lovely smile.
I followed, admiring you in my heart, "God, this is so beautiful."
I wanted to come closer, but I was too shy, so I kept my distance to feel at ease.
You should know, you made me follow you—almost five meters behind.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Just our brief conversation

December 11, 2024, and beyond—

Me: Why do you have to be the moon?
When you can be a star with your own light!

You: Sometimes, when the light is out, I feel okay just being the moon :).

Me: You are more beautiful than the moon—if only everyone on Earth knew. Why? Because the moon shifts, but you stay—always in sight.

You: I'm perfectly content if not everyone knew. I'm in sight for the loved ones, the ones dear to me.

Me: I've observed you a lot; I wish I could have understood you, even just once!

You: Just like the stars, they don’t know whether they’re being watched. They are indeed hard to understand, for they are thousands of millions of miles away from Earth... from where you are.

Defta, do you know?
You're scribbling on my heart—with a love that leaves me struggling to keep up.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Hi, Defta. I understand, you’re very tired.

Today, have you been grateful?
Today, has your exhaustion made you sit and pray for a moment?
Today, when you returned home, did you speak to God?
You’re tired—all day, every day—dealing with the sick.

I’m sorry, when you were struggling, I wasn’t there.
I arrived at the very last moment, just as you finished your fight.
I saw it, I felt it for a second—you’re really exhausted, aren’t you?
Rest for a while, and let my prayers embrace you even warmer.

For the doctor of the future…

Hi, Doctor. Of all the illnesses in history, which one is the deadliest?
Could it be… falling in love with you? Is it painful or soothing?

Hi, Doctor. My arteries are failing to carry my blood properly.
Instead, they carry love for your arteries. Is that wrong?
Is that a fatal disease?

Hi, Doctor. If I die from a lack of white blood cells,
Please don’t be sad—because my red blood cells will remain inside you,
Carrying every last breath of my life,
And they will settle deep within the chambers of your heart.

I am no medical expert, just an ordinary young man,
Who keeps repeating: “I have fallen for you, for your heart,
And you have made me feel more alive since that day.”

Like capillaries—thin-walled but capable of exchanging substances—
Love exists in our hearts,
Flowing between us, connecting us.
Don’t be afraid, for I live within your blood,
Flowing through your veins as you do through mine,
Helping you breathe, keeping you alive.
And if I am gone someday, please take care of that.

Defta, if you are tired in the future,
If you are in pain someday,
Remember, I will wipe away your tears.
Joy will take their place, and in that moment, I will hold you—bringing you peace.

Don’t just miss me—feel me in your heartbeat.
I live there.
As long as you live, I will live within you.
Don’t be sad, because whenever you miss me, I will be there in that very moment.
So don’t be afraid—"I am behind you," watching over you at all times.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

December 7 - 10, 2024 – How can I make your wish come true?

I love you—always and forever, remember that.
I love you beyond all the greatest wishes in this world.
It’s not about three wishes, because I’m no wish-granter.
I’m just a genie who has fallen in love—with the sweetest soul that breathes and smiles every day. That’s you, Defta!

Why wish for a soulmate? Is it something you can order like food?
Why wish for a soulmate when I am here, falling for you?
Why wish for a soulmate when a simple ice cream is enough to bring you close to me?
Don’t wish for a soulmate—they don’t exist. But look at me, I do!

Our conversations stretch long, every word, every feeling between us,
Even the wind and tiny creatures at that moment paused in awe.
Yes, in awe—watching us as love takes over!
Isn’t it beautiful? Knowing you, knowing me—isn’t that wonderful?

Why should I search for happiness somewhere far away,
When just looking at your smile is already enough?

Enough—just you beside me, me beside you.
Enough—you looking at me, me looking at you.
Enough—you guiding me, me guiding you.
Enough—you being my happiness, me being your everything!

"Scandal of Grace" ♪

We are threads in a grand tapestry, woven with care.
Each one unique, yet all meant to be there.
In the fabric of existence, every soul plays a role,
Connected by love—the language of the heart.

Shall we see how far we can go?
I hope that when your hair turns gray, I’ll still be there.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

December 5, 2024, I still remember it clearly.

GOD, do You know? My beloved was sitting right behind me.
That day, we were having a Christmas rehearsal for Sunday school.
I was sitting down when she sent me a photo—
she was behind me, and I was overjoyed!!!

In short, I was a little surprised.
The woman I admired was there at that moment.
I walked closer, bringing my best smile for her.
She also brought her best smile—for me.

I was closer to her, inside the church.
"Come and join the Galilea class?" I said.
I kept inviting her, over and over, hoping she would give in—
just as she had melted my heart, time and time again.

I invited her while letting the others know.
Hahaha… it was funny seeing her face,
unable to refuse at that moment. Hahaha. I’m sorry.

As I left, her older brother—who is also my good friend—
gave his support. I was amazed.

Defta, if I may say this, again and again…
I couldn’t take my eyes off you.
This was the most honest feeling I whispered in my heart
amidst the crowd inside the church that day.

A smile I could recognize anywhere—yours alone.
My freezing point had changed, turning into a melting point.
As if even heaven knew how happy I was that day.
So, I believe heaven already knew, hihihihi.

Keep existing, being present, living, and blooming.
Keep being strong like a steadfast rock.
Keep smiling, laughing, and rejoicing
in hope, even in trials.

I deserve happiness, Defta.
And you deserve your favorite flowers—
to bloom and become the beautiful petals that live within you.

You make me too honest,
so if I say, "I have fallen for you, once again,"
know that I truly mean it.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

This is about how I still see you in December.

December 1, 2024.

I take a new step at the beginning of the month, at the end of this year.
Just a little—I want to tell a story
about the one who stole my heart, about the one who always made me smile.
As if that was my main job on this earth—to always smile,
to smile because of her sweet presence in this world.

Her name is Defta. That’s all I remember.
Back then, I didn’t know what her name meant.
Did it contain Tellurium? Astatine?
Haha, but I’m sure she was just an ordinary woman
who had the power to melt me.
Yes, thank you for that, Defta.

That day, I felt a little braver,
brave enough to admit that I truly had feelings for her.
I admitted it to myself.
Back then, I was the only one who knew.

Do you know, Defta?
I always wanted to know you more.

That time, I invited her to join
as a Sunday school teacher.
I offered her a small class—not for any particular reason, just an offer.
I believe everyone deserves to serve GOD, the giver of life.
I believed she was also worthy,
worthy of being a kind sister to the children.

For a moment, I felt proud
because you decided to join.
Welcome, sweet one. Welcome to working for our true GOD.
Let’s take pride in our lives,
for we have given our lives
to GOD, and only to Him
have we come this far.

From that moment on, I kept looking at you.
From afar, I kept hoping you knew
that I admired you.
Isn’t that sweet?
When a man like me falls for your captivating charm?

A good beginning carried me through December’s cold,
through the chill of the year’s end.
If I could hope for more, I would.
But among all the men competing for you?
I feel like I am the winner.
I believe I am!

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

𝄞  I Found You.

Verse 1 :

Music - My Love Songs Are Only for You

We have walked quite far, guided by sweet melodies.
What kind of music do you love?
I want to know.
What is your favorite love song? I want to fall in love.

We share the same music, the ones we both adore.
I can understand you through your beautiful taste in music.
It’s wonderful, it amazes me, because you love music.
You are the melody in my composition, Defta!

Every song holds its own meaning.
If you were my song, let you be my eternal meaning.
Eternal, in every note, every line, every harmony.
The pluck of melodies, the piano, the guitar, and everything!!!

The first song for you, I write it with care,
With feelings, as if you become real through this song.
I love you, the way a writer loves their words,
The way a creator loves their creation,
The way music loves the ears of humanity.

Defta, let’s make music together, not just listen.
But let’s create music together, until the end of time.
Let our song be eternal, even after we are gone.
Let our song hold meaning, even after we are no more.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

My First Ice Cream, for You

What if your soulmate is the one who gives you ice cream?
Or perhaps, the one who makes it?
Yes, you love ice cream, that’s so obvious.
Or do you love the ice cream factory instead? Hahaha…

I am not a genie granting three wishes,
Yet you ask me for a soulmate—how surprising!
What if I offer myself instead?
Offering ice cream sold at church.

Sunday, the first Sunday, we became "us."
Your yellow dress, moving closer to me—so sweet you are!
"Would you like some ice cream?" You said yes! That was impressive!
You’re sweeter than that fleeting ice cream!

I was nervous, yet happy—our first day.
I gave you ice cream, just the two of us at the church canteen.
We were so close, I felt at ease, I loved seeing you happy.
Stay with me—you’re fresher than any ice cream.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

"To You in November"

Look at the stretches of the sky,
Look into the tiny pores of the falling rain.
The wind blows—cold and calm.
Where, between you and me, do our questions linger?

Defta, what role do you play in my life?
Rama, don’t make things complicated for me.
Defta, are we on the same page?
Rama, don’t let me down!

Love is sometimes complicated when you’re unprepared.
Love is sometimes sweet when both are ready.
Love is two souls meeting in a church.
Love is Defta and Rama, finally confessing everything.

Defta, every day, I almost know your whereabouts—
The path you take home,
The hospital where you find your strength,
Your home, the coziest place when you are weary.

Come closer to me.
Let’s talk about your burdens.
Isn’t sharing the weight a beautiful thing?
If you feel comfortable, make it real.

My love is etched in every gaze I give you,
Making me better with every breath I take.
My essence is loving you more than in those past days.
From the moment you first arrived, I loved you.

"My November blossoms with the feelings I have for you".

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

"Forgive me if I am rarely by your side".

This is who I am, I have my limits.
Sometimes, I regret not being able to join.
I chose my own world
Instead of getting to know you better back then.

Hey, sweet lady, forgive this man.
I should have come and been there
When you invited me to join.
But I chose to avoid you—because I was afraid.

We only met after the youth service,
On Saturdays, on Sundays—that was all.
The only chance I had
To touch your hand and enjoy your smile.

This poem makes me understand
The feelings within a moment of life,
That, in the end, you cannot choose
Who you fall in love with.

And now, I am cherishing it,
Growing even closer to you.
Don't go, stay here with me—
Maybe just for a while, but if you wish…

"Stay with me forever".

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

If You Were My Flower

I remember a few things in mid-October,
When the wind whispered softly, carrying your image in my thoughts.

What do we understand about this connection?
What do you feel? Tell me...
Does your heart resonate with this feeling too?
Because just by looking at you, I feel alive again.

What if I step closer? Will I be okay?
Maybe I am not worthy… because you are too beautiful, aren’t you?
Hey, sweet one, who are you, really?
You have melted a once-hardened fighter in an instant.

Sometimes, I sit and eat with everyone, and I see you.
Sometimes, I exercise with them, and I see you.
Sometimes, I go to church at 10 AM, and I see you.
Seeing you… seeing you… seeing you…
Truly, I melt in that gaze.

We never made a promise, but I know,
Defta is worth fighting for.
With your charm, you give me the courage
To step closer, to hope.

If you read this, Defta,
I want you to know—through these words:
"I have fallen in love with you. My love has bloomed and taken root."
"It stays, with the belief that one day, you will be mine."
"One day, you will hold my hand and tell the world..."

Speak to the world, my dearest one!.....

You are beautiful, in every way.
You are kind, in every sense.
You are sweet, in every second.
And you… will be with me, forever. Forever, because God knows this love.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Haiii Defta.....

A few months since we first met,
after exchanging laughter and smiles,
I began to notice you more often—from afar,
quietly watching in my silence.

If only you knew...I often walked around the church, just to catch a glimpse of you.
But it didn’t always work, because you had your own place.
We share the same circle, the same friends,
yet I still hesitate to come closer—I am afraid.

If only you knew...

After the service, from across the room,
I steal glances at you.
That moment, the church became a silent witness to my confession:
"Lord, she is truly beautiful."
But all I could do was look, then take a step back.

You are so sweet when you greet me—so, so sweet!
I long to greet you again and again,
but fear holds me back.
Afraid that my heart will fall into yours,
afraid that your sweetness will touch the surface of mine

If only you realized...
I admire you.
I want to be closer to you.
I feel jealous, I feel sad, yet I love you.
If only you knew—that is how I feel.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

"Falling in love from across the table."

That Beautiful Day........

A beautiful day came to greet us, in the midst of our lives.
We were just ordinary friends, as we had always been.
You—the kind sister of my dear friend,
You arrived, and I joined on that day.

We chose a simple place to dine,
Just like how falling in love is simple.
With a simple person, in a simple way,
Sitting simply, speaking simply.

The world was bustling, yet time stood still.
Paused—just so I could gaze at you for a moment.
Through careful glances, I admired you.
That day, I fell in love… just a little.

Your smile and laughter remained constant,
Constantly pulling my gaze back to you,
Just to make sure—it was really you.
You, who melted my heart like water.

A whisper echoed softly within me:
"There she is… she has captivated you."
Oh sweet one, dearest woman,
A sweet blessing from God.
Thank you for gracing a moment of my life.
May we go further, beyond that day.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

That time, I saw you,
That time, I had yet to know you.
In a room of prayer, we grew together,
In silence, in hope, in the small steps we took.

What is this beauty? A sound I hear?
What is this beauty? That turns my gaze to you?
Your laughter… soft, warm, so captivating,
It made my heart waver for a moment.

Hi, Defta, now I know you,
Because your laughter is clear, easy to understand.
Hi, Defta, now I’m one step closer,
Because your laughter is beautiful, changing my world.

I’d act foolishly just to see you smile,
I’d cast away my pain just to hear you laugh again.
What if, just for a moment, you turned to see me?
I’m here… just a step away from you.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Deogifta (God’s Gift)

One day, God gave me a gift.
It looked beautiful, yet I was afraid.
Hesitant to receive it—what was His purpose?
So, I walked away, just for a moment.

The next day, God placed the gift once more.
I stood still, watching.
What did He want? What was His plan?
I paused to think—everything from God is always good.

Deogifta—the first thing I saw.
A sweet gift from God,
for a land so dry and cracked like me.
Oh, how it touched my weary soul.

Deogifta—more than just a blooming flower,
thriving even in barren, lifeless ground.
The sun could never defeat it,
for it was a gift from God.

Deogifta—with a smile so calm,
like standing at the edge of a cliff without fear.
It holds colors beyond words,
for God’s gifts are always extraordinary.

Deogifta—a heart filled with the Giver’s love.
Healing my wounds, mending them gently.
Like a breeze that lulls me to sleep,
a love from God that helps me see Him.

So, I embraced it, learning to understand.
God’s ways are always beyond our grasp.
Yet He knows His gifts are meant for me.
And for that, I am grateful, until my very last breath.

Far away, in the highest place.
Far away, in the quietest space.
Far away, where pain no longer lingers.
Lord, thank You for Your perfect gift.

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

I remember your voice
But I don't remember you rejoice
I remember you food
But I don't remember your grace

I remember my name
But I don't remember my pain
I remember my lies
But I don't remember my prize

You left so randomly
And left me with a broken heart
Whatever the reason was
Life will still go on
With or without you
This is goodbye now and forever

Berapa lama ku terjatuh Tuhan
dalam dosa yang sangat besar
merobek sampai didalam hatiMu
Yesus selamatkan jiwaku

aku slalu melihatMu bersedih
atas apa yang telah ku perbuat
rubah hidupku, angkat hatiku
selamatkan jiwaku, Yesus

Betapa besar, Cinta kasihMu Tuhan
mengubah sluruh hidupku dengan sentuhan manisMu, membuatku mengerti
hanya Kau yang mampu.

Dan saat aku tenggelam, dalam semua keresahanku, Dengan pelukanMu, Tenangkan hatiku,  membuatku mengerti, hanya Yesus yang mampu.

My heart is wounded, cursing my smile,
My past destroys me,
Struggling to face it all,
And Jesus empowers me.

My life is in vain for You,
Always disappointing Your heart,
But look at the greatness of Your love,
Kissing deep into my soul.

Believe, believe, you will surely be healed,
Smile, love, the sweetness of your heart,
Believe, believe, Jesus lives in your heart,
Remove and cast away the bitterness of your past.

And never, never leave yourself.

Suatu hari nanti, aku akan berhenti mencintaimu,
Dan aku rasa kamu juga harus melupakan aku.
Ini bukan seperti dulu, aku selalu bilang "Aku jatuh cinta padamu,"
Dan aku akan terus berhenti berpikir tentangmu.

Ini bukan kesalahan, kita hanya tidak memiliki hati yang sama.
Terkadang aku berpikir, kamu tidak mencintaiku,
Tapi aku tahu dari matamu, tidak ada aku dalam harapanmu.
Jadi aku rasa lebih baik menjauh darimu.

Jangan khawatir, aku selalu mendoakanmu, ketika tak ada yang mengerti dirimu.
Tapi aku akan pergi dari hidupmu

Sometimes, I get carried away by certain moments that keep me awake. But I think I see too much.

Sometimes, I feel that what makes me comfortable must be good. But in truth, I see too much.

Sometimes, I imagine I’ll always spend my time under a blue sky. But I see too much.

Now I realize that feelings and thoughts will never fully align, because the world will always change, even if everything seems fine at first. So, I need to stop and focus on looking far ahead.