A Love That Hurts - Hello Poetry

May 2015

Sweetheart

Im here thinking about you
while you are thinking about her,
and she is thinking about him.
Me and you are in the same boat,
both with bullet wounds in our hearts
from the one's we've loved
who don't want to love us back.

May 2015

Sweetheart

To me, you are

You are the groggy mornings after you kept me up because you needed me to get through the night.
You are the worry lines forming on my face from the constant anxiety that you might hurt yourself.
You are the deep ache in my heart because I know you will never love me like you loved her.
You are the tears on my pillow case because you are so beyond amazing and I want to be yours but can't.
You are the struggle I face because there is so much good in you but you insist on only seeing the bad.
You are the breath that leaves my lungs every time I imagine my life without you.
You are the pride in my heart because I see that all you want to do is help people.
You are the smile on my face because you make me so happy just seeing you.
You are the best friend in my introverted life.
And you are the the greatest love I will ever experience.

May 2015

Sweetheart

Its not possible not to love you

I am so in love with you
and I didn't know this was possible.
They say its easy to love someone when they are happy
and hard to love them when they are sad.
I think whoever said that wasn't really in love because
Loving you when you're happy is easy,
but my love for you grows when you're sad.

May 2015

Sweetheart

I love you so much

I have a fear of commitment,
but right now,
I would commit to you in a heartbeat.

May 2015

Sweetheart

Keeping my love for you

I think if i told you that I'm still in love with you
and that my love has grown an immense amount
that it would ruin our friendship.
And something is better than nothing, i guess,
so ill keep it in.

May 2015

Sweetheart

End of relationships

When it is about to end,
you always think back to the beginning.

May 2015

Sweetheart

I will love you indefinitely

I am so in love with you and it is the worst thing I've ever felt.
Nobody can know. I've been hiding it from every single person in my life; even from myself.
You were in love with me once, but people change and life goes on.
I can't make you love me, but I can declare my love for you in every way possible.
I will love you every day from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep; even then I will love you in your dreams.
I will love you when you are in love with life and when you are angry at God for every struggle you've had to face.
I will love you when you are sad and hate life because you don't see a reason to live.
I will love you when you get mad at your family and when you push me away.

I look at you and I see my future in front of me.
I see Sundays where we wake up late and cook breakfast together while dancing and laughing and staring lovingly into each others' eyes.
I see us during the week getting ready for work together and kissing goodbye before heading out to start our days.
I see our kids running to the door to see you when you come home from work.
I see you picking them up and walking over to kiss me hello.
I see us growing old together and being so happy.
This may seem great and you may wonder why it's the worst thing I've ever felt.
It's the worst because you don't see any of this when you look at me—but you do see it when you look at her.

May 2015

WickedHope

Cast Iron and Hands

I hate me, I hate me, I hate me
For being so jealous, possessive, angry
Why do I ruin everything
By claiming each as my own
Why can't I just let things go
I lead myself to further pain
I keep saying "my" and "mine"
And expecting a long time
I don't, don't want to share
I don't, don't want to care
Not even fair, when I act this way
I'm the one who'll never stay
I keep setting myself up to fail
Punishment in my own twisted jail

I make people my whole world
I orbit someone like they're my sun
But it's cold, being left in space
They never wanted me in the first place

****** poem about ****** me.
- - -
I'm in the midst of a violent outburst.
Thought this would help me stop.
It didn't.

#******

May 2015

WickedHope

Kiss

Lipstick stains
The windowpane,
A burst of color
When you look out.

The glass does frost
As you feel lost;
Your lipstick stain
Is all that remains
Since you left me.

I'm waiting for you
To return, stay true;
Dear girl, who used to be me.

Past...Present.

May 2015

WickedHope

Gardening... I always **** my plants.

The bite was probably the worst part
                      It rained everyday I thought about you
                      And poured everyday I tried not to
I ran for miles hoping to get close enough to see you
But you had left weeks prior
                      I couldn't scale even your shortest wall
                      Because there were already too many trying to climb it
                      So I've been waiting outside your door
                      Hoping you might remember your promise
                 And let me in
           Before another snake tastes my heel
     While I wait beyond your towering walls
Watching all the other girls you push fall

Occasionally I yell obscenities at moths.

#love

May 2015

WickedHope

"Dear Maria, Count Me In"

Sister
It has been a long time
Sister
Your eyes used to shine
Sister
Your mouth used to laugh
Now it's curled around a cigarette
Sister
You once swore never
But lately you are silent
Sister
You once swore never
But lately you're violent
Sister
For many years you called me yours
Now you reside on distant shores

Title is an All Time Low song.
- - -
I miss you, Mary.
Love,
Little Lamb.

#love #broken #time #sister #apart #miss #bestfriend #promise