I don't think I spend too much,
But then I spill out my shoe
Collection, an addiction, sorted by hue.
Cupboards flung open to reveal the gradient of such
And don't get me started on bags and the clutch!

Rivers of life run deep,
But then I look at the contents of my journals;
The "now and not yet" cries reveal how hormonal
Am I. Dim focus on the eternal creeps --
To cover more of the heart, I try to keep.

New year near and nearer;
But a return to stillness yearns.
When we hide, these addictions burn,
Igniting guilt, shame and all --
Where are you, simplicity? Is this the fall?

This tiny life I live is nothing much
It's cramped into about a dozen streets
And proxy interest in other people's cool ideas
I'm such a poser that was the greatest fear when I was just a stupid kid
To be inauthentic; gods what a shill!
Who then knew anything about who they were to be?

But This life has been directly called out to me by a friend who sees it for what it is. Small and thin and of little importance and little interest to anyone not already in it.

Yet here I am, lovin' it, and letting her rip
Just tear-assign' around the corners and skipping stones and hittin licks. **** I don't know, it's working though.

I ain't afraid to trade a few years off the end for a bunch a kicks to live right here and now, fair trade, there and then. So it's not the long way, But it's the fun way, and the funny thing about the fun way out, is You can chose the fun way at any time, but it's awful hard to get off the ride once you punch the ticket and wait in line. Might as well see whats in store for me, it looked good back there no reason to believe anything else. Like, what are we doing here- Self-reflecting? You gotta be kidding me, that's not why we came this way. Now get back out there and see what there is to see.


6:31am 6/14/25

Doctors see more blood
in sterile rooms
than soldiers do
on broken land.

Take this life away from me
I don’t want it anymore
The pain is just too much to bear
It runs into my core
Emotional and real
Why does no one listen
When I tell them how I feel
My life is pain and anguish
Physical and not
I’m waiting slowly dying
For the final breath to leave me
For the end of all my suffering

Why do I feel so alone
When I am in crowds
Why am I so quiet
When others are around
Every truth I wish to say
Gets stuck inside my chest
Each and every single day
I just want eternal rest

Come and weep,
Silently, tears will guide you to sleep,
As your lover comes to know,
The grave of water's undertow.
Another claimed,
In the name of explorer's fame,
A name, that once you pass on,
Will be all but gone.
Not a soul has ever carried it as close,
As you have for so long.

Don't be foolish,
Staring at the sea,
He is truly gone,

Even when the fleet comes rolling in,
You won't have that kiss at dawn,
He promised you as he left.
So hang your lonesome head,
The worst is yet to come,
Fill his grave with sea things,
It's all that's left of him anymore.
Your life together,
Now ancient lore,
Lock it up,
Before you wake up.