Blue eyes that stare back
With pain and with hate
Pain I know well
Because mine are the same

I have made mistakes
But everyone does
All I can promise
Is I will always love

You

Whether or not
This feeling is returned
Is all up to you
That's one thing I've learned

So I'll give you some space
And plenty of time
But at the end of the day
The decision's not mine

Don't wait too long
We all change with time
And once more I'll say
The decision's not mine

So think long and hard
What it is that you want
I won't wait forever
At some point I'll stop

Waiting

Life is a maze
and some will
always get lost....

A ***** bubble
pops, and the
elevator goes
strangely silent...

I wish to go back to that
time, to change that decision
that for ever effected my life, I
want to be there to be in that time
once again, relive those seconds back
in my life .

A moment is it lost in the footsteps...
of the past, is it just a memory
that cant be re-writtern as we have
moved on the energy gone a shadow
left in the past.

I believe I can travel to undo what was
done, I step forth in to the abyess, as i fall
my time machine works. all were wrong
as I travel in to my past.

As life flashes before my eyes, as that
point I now see, that point in my
life that brought me to this place my
own time machine.

It only lasted seconds but I changed
it, my past in that blink of eye I saw
all possibilities and I was content
with what I had.

The second had past, the time had
gone by, I lay crumpled on the floor,
lifeless on the concrete, but with a
smile on my face.

My time machine had worked
I had seen my life in seconds, changed
it so now I die with happiness that I saw
it diffrently seconds worth the rest of my
life.

I will follow the words where
ever they may go, I will be
like a predator and claim
my victims. I have ****** in
mind of many a word, ink
will flow on the pages to come.

I will bury it in verse, in
between lines that will
hide the deed that I have
done. I have a thirst for
this more words will fall
in to the hollow page I have dug.

I am a serial poet words will fall
under my pen, many pages will
they be left hidden from view,
ink and the pen my curse. this
is just the beginning of my writing
derangement ****** of words is
what in my mind must be done.

Sometimes I can't explain the way I feel in my heart.          Because the words are sometimes hard to find and I don't know where to start.                                                           ­                                             But none of that seemed to matter as the two of us spoke the other day.                                                             ­                                      It was like I always knew you and I knew everything to say.    
You have this natural essence about you that in most women is hard to find.                                                            ­                             Plus everything about you says you have a heart that's kind. During the time that we were talking I knew we would meet again.                                                           ­                                   
 Because it seemed like both of us wanted for that talk to never end.                                                             ­                                                So as I sit here and write to you, The words just seem to flow.  
                                                                ­                                                 And although we just met there's no need to take things slow. This feels like the start of something special. its been a wonderful way to begin.                                                           ­           And my heart tells me that this feels right because I just met a new wonderful friend.                                                          ­             True friends are often hard to find so when I met you it seemed surreal.                                                         ­                                         
But the true essence of your spirit told me that you were real.  
So I hope we'll let time determine whether or not we were meant to be.                                                              ­                                    But whatever happens at the end of it all you will still be a friend
to me.     R. Mendoza

in writing poetry...
......you are writing
intimate love letters
to the world.


you bare your heart,
soul and .....***** laundry
....for all who care to read.

but there is anonymity
in your intimacy...
and there is ..
the dispensation of .... ....absolution, acquital, emancapation.....
leading to.....
....proclamation, jubilation
and .....discovery of a .... ....different self.

when you put...
words  to paper
.....as  a poet....
you allow the world
access, to your heart
....in times of joy and sorrow
and all the mileposts
..... lying inbetween.



you

Twisted branches reach skyward  
locked together in formation
Something like a work of art
Impossible to look away
from detailed placement
So intricately woven and weaving
A lonely twisted thirsty looking tree
reaching for rain

I have existed a liar so pardon my bitter sweet intrusion this note of passing shall be a forward of my forgotten voice now a eco within a long since empty hall.

To lead takes no true direction just a gimmick and I have grown tired of the restraints that now scar my words.
They all want something far more than I will ever give.

May I shed light on my breakdown if you will reveal me your skeletons before you judge me for my own.
I hate the page for it is a twisted lover and cruel ***** when your in need.

Take comfort in the madness sundown will break us all to soon.
Time is a burden I have nothing more to prove yet everything to gain.
To toss aside the fruit others yearn to taste is the truest form of rebellion.
Or maybe just another fools act and I have know many in my time.

What started a hobby now is my vice poured regrets goes well with the taste of not giving a **** to begin with.
Curse my actions for you can never bury my words.

A simple epitaph could never convey the rage that is far to misunderstood .

I believe  I will leave you with a mystery for some riddles were not worth the time to solve I ask will mine weigh heavy as a long regret?

I right in the shadows for in there darkness I understand not all but the ultimate critic myself.

Last call is here.

You don't think I'm ready
to see the world?

You don't think that I'll
accept people?

You don't think that
I want to live?

One day you will see
when your only glimpse of me
will be in a **picture frame.

Sandman catch me if you can,
I will not succumb to your dust
as I am awake, no sleep needed as
I am staying up till dawn it is a must.

You set your traps, reality TV, a
boring show as my yawns happen
repeatedly. I'm not having that,
loud music keeps my senses alive
and vibrates my  yawns to dust.

Sandman I will not surrender,
to your want of sleep, I will win
this battle as my eyes awake,
but slowly succumb as my head
nods forward then back, like a
cradle swaying, my mind is hazy
is lack of sleep driving me crazy.

I see the dawn break, I have won
this round Mr Sand Man, I am
still awake, but my joy is short
lived as I'm shocked awake.

Well played my friend, as I
look to the window pitch black
only moments have passed, I
surrender to my needs, as
my head hits the pillow. The
Sandman sprinkles his dust,
the sandman always wins he
never sleeps on the job.

We are all cloaked behind a screen,
never really letting others see what
is unseen, we are all tormented by
a past.

Never let it rule you as the day
has now past, we survived till the
next moment, the next minute,
now more time has past.

The past we can not change, but
the future is yours to grow to live,
never let that which can now be
never changed drag you to that
place, where bad memories lie.

They will only drag you to the
past, and you must live for tomorrow,
Never doubt your self as you
survived one day, two weeks,
your stronger than you know.

Keep looking forward, let the past
be what it is a memory in dust,
shine ever forward and live for
today as it will soon pass...