Who am I really?
My friend asked me this question(And it was not you nina)
who are you really?

Who am I really?
I don't really know
because at home
I act for my family

at school
I act for my friends

at church
I act for the preachers

and alone
I act for myself

so who am I really?
I don't know
and I never stop asking

Dont get upset you dont know the real me
I dont know her either

It's fathers day

and yet my father is the only one who ever hurt me

but he is also the only one who ever loved me

its very confusing

because I love him and he loves me

but his way of showing things

is seen by others crazy

I would rather have a card saying I love you

then a punch in the eye

since they mean the same thing to you

but now your in jail

far away

and now im crying on my living room couch

with a tube of ice cream

praying that you where here

to show me you love me

even if that meant hitting me

I miss you daddy

and I love you even though you hurt me

Happy fathers day

I love you daddy

All throught the night I dream

Because you are by my side

Caring in your special way

Dreaming as well, next to me

Each other dream of our love

For we dream together

Giving our love our hope

Hope that we cherish in our sleep

In our dreams we are always as one

Just being in our dreams here together

Knowing our love shines in our minds

Loving our souls and our bodies tonight

Mind and body reunited in our special place

Never being apart from our dreams and desires

On a higher plain of existence, together

Placing our promises and our love for ourselves

Quest of our salvation we find in each others arms

Reaching out and holding on for what we have

Special love belongs only to us this night

Two souls that entwine together for ever and ever
Under the dreams that protect our love at all times

Velvet kisses that we share in a dream scope

We never drift away from silver reflections of the heart

X marks the spot that our dreams take us now

Your dream to me is mine I share with you

Zodiac signs matched with love in dream




copyright Chris Smith 2009L

When Life gives you lemons
make orange juice
and leave the world wondering how you did it

You make me wonder what I would be like

If you hadn't comed in and changed my life

if you hadn't made everything that's wrong seem right

or if you didn't trick me into believing in love in first sight

or if you did teach me death

because I died when you left me

So I guess that means my question is answered

without you in my life I would be like a cancer survivor  

without the cancer

When we kissed it sent electricity throw my bones
it sent waves of adrenaline through me
none stopping
and that feeling
called me

so every night I went to your room
and every day I was your punching bag
you where the on thing I couldn't live without
but I literally cant live with you
because you where killing me

Those kisses of electricity
gave me frost bite
colder than a winter night
they sent fear through me
I didn't know
I couldn't see how you where hurting me
All I could do was imagine that that frost bite was cold because of me
I did something to make things turn badly
and sadly I couldn't get out of this mess
I couldn't believe
you would ever mean to hurt anybody

then my angles came to help me

She was girl with the world on her fingertips
yet she didn't know couldn't see how it could end
No hope
she was hopeless even though
she could make it
She was put down
for being loud and proud
She was let down
by everyone around her
But she didn't see
her fire
She was put down
left out
broken down
She was a girl with nothing but the beating heart in her chest
yet she loved everyone and spread her  joyfulness
Smiling wide trying to forget her past
She tried to make through and pass her test
She was worth it
thinking she was
Worthless
and she was amazing
But she didnt see
her fire
She was put down
She was left out
She was broken down
Tried to please
tried to be
everything but who she was
she disapeared
left from here
all because she couldnt see
her fire

She had to many curls
I mean she was asking for it when she came to church dressed like that
Lets face facts she wasn't looking that good
her shoes where falling off her feet
she really need to do some laundry
but is that all you see
I know you see a reckless person
who you think could never be your friend
but if you looked deeper you would see something different
if you looked in her eyes instead of leeking at her eye shadow
maybe you would find the hurt that lies behind
or maybe you would see her cry for help
or maybe she will look up to you like no one else
you could change her life
and yet you walk out of her way because you think she wants a fight
Maybe if you told her what you thought
instead of holding in your laughter with all your might
you should see what she went through in her life
because while you want your dad to bring home take out
she hopes she gets food
you got to school caring about being cool
while she thinks about hot water
maybe if you just looked a little farther
but no its just to fun
laughing at someone
you dont know
because you think everymans on there own
well you know what
thats not true
while you walk down the hallways with your crew
texting them i cant live without you
yet she doesn't know if tomorow she will still be able to live
maybe the reason she has those clothes
is because that's the only thing she owns
and maybe she got those shoes form the dumpster out back
but your to busy having fun to admit the possibility of that
and she feels alone
more then she ever felt before
because she goes to a place of refuge and they laughter at her some more
when she finally has had enough
she picks up a gun
then you cry "I didn't know!"
maybe you would of known if you decided to look in close