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 Jan 2017
Torin
So destroy my yesterday
Affect all my tomorrow
A river only flows downhill
They say
And the sky is only filled with stars that don't have any answers

Vanilla icing
On the cake
I know you ate
On your birthday
When I found vacuums that obliterate
Me whole

My soul

I want you to be happy
And you don't care

Haven't these streets been flooded with blood for far too long?
That they can't predict my future
Haven't these parking lots been empty?
My dreams die in the worst way

I am not worried
What is there to worry?
My greatest fears are recent memory
And im still alive
Only barely
Still alive

My heart is beating

And as my heart is beating
It reminds me how you beat me
Its reminding me of you
Today's your birthday

Happy birthday

I still love you

I know you hurt me

I know you killed me
 Jan 2017
Laura Duran
It's been three years to the day
I remember it was very cold
I was surrounded by family
Still, I've never felt so alone

It's been three years to the day
Sometimes it still feels unreal
I still expect to see you
Will I ever truly heal?

It's been three years to the day
That I kissed you goodbye
Three years and I'm still hurting
I still feel lost and I still cry

It's been three years to the day
Three years and it feels like forever
We keep going, one day at a time
Hoping some day we'll again be together


God give us the strength to face our lives without our dad.
May we see him again in heaven.   Amen.
 Dec 2016
Sally A Bayan
On days, when time is going too fast,
I can't catch up, and there're things i can't get past,
I'd pull a chair at the verandah....just sit there
To witness, the gentler goings on in life...
See, how...why  all plants face towards the sun,
On a dimly lit corner, watch a spider patiently spin its web,
Underneath the gravel and green grass, somehow,
The earthworm, painstakingly, bravely emerges,
Finds its way out of the soil...to remind us,
"...soil is healthy....it's time to plant!"
:::::
I feel, the beetle knows me, as it inches on,
Carrying its own body, crawling down the pine tree,
I won't ever grasp it, nor tie a string on its body
To control its range of movement,
As we do to tethered beasts of burden...
:::::
While sitting there, i decide: by all means,
Towards the flower ***, i  lean
Take time to smell a rose, feel its rough leaf
Not just a quick touch and sniff
But hold its thorny body, without daring to blink
While deep within, i'd let its fragrance sink
:::::
Some early evenings
When the cicadas' music are echoing
And the moths have started flying
Circling round the light at the ceiling,
I am warned...soon, it will be raining
And.....when it starts to rain, i keep listening
Til i'm soothed by the sound of rain...falling,
From sky to treetops.....flowing...landing
Next to the leaves......cascading down
To the concrete ground
Spreading quickly, far and deep...and as fate,
As nature would have it....the soil, without fail, waits...
:::::
Long time ago, we were small,
Curious and brave, we tasted glory, and all,
Armed with a child's innocence
And an insatiable hunger for learning...
Our eyes, our minds dilated,
Our brains were like sponge...
Like the soil.....we absorbed
All, that we discovered...
:::::

Sally

Copyright December 1, 2016
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
(Once in a while, we can be a child....right?)
 Dec 2016
Pauline Morris
A tic for a tac
And all of that
Once gone, it'll never come back

A penny for your thoughts
Because that's all you got
Even after all you sought

What comes around goes around
By this law we are bound
Even when silence is the only sound

You'll find all that glitters is not gold
You must take solace in what you hold
Before it spoils and turns to mold

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
This seems to be a hard case
Just stay in this space

So bite the bullet, till you bite the dust
See everything through eyes of disgust
For every thing turns to rust

So burn the midnight oil
So time your plans won't foil
Curl in on it's self and recoil

For this world is as cold as ice
Nothing in this place is nice
It will beat you up more than thrice

Brain is fried
Hands are tied
Soul has died

Just pound that last nail in the coffin
Please do not speak of us often
We'll be in the ground just rotten

©Pauline Russell
 Dec 2016
Wanderer
"You be the hurricane
I'll be the eye"

Your too often silent lips whisper against
The soft inside of my thigh
Just before you send me over the edge of your teeth
I moan and writhe from your sharp attention
The storm of release leaving your mouth wet
**** aching
Somehow it is never rough enough
"Bite harder"* you grit out
"Push deeper" I beg
Our back and forth battle to leave marks
Crescendos into a category 3 screamer
After glow sets in, wide you-rocked-my-world grin
*"Next time we will try for a 5"
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
I have never trusted you
At all!

Beauty lies beyond
Having a flawless body and face,
But your reflection dictates
That the beautiful, imperfect person
That is staring at you,
Is out of place.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Why do you set people up
To fall?

There is more to life
Than having a perfect complexion,
There is more to life
Than trying to be "perfection!"

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
If you cannot be kind,
Or find anything nice to say...
Then please, do not speak
At all!

Why don't you tell that vulnerable,
Desperate person,
That's gazing into your guise,
That they don't need to try to fit-in -
Or be wearing a made-up disguise.

And why don't you tell
That poor aching soul,
That loving the skin that they were born in,
Should be their number-one goal!

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Beauty is skin deep -
Don't you know anything...
At all!

By Lady R.F ©2016
 Dec 2016
L B
The Holy Family?
In a box
with the angels upstairs

Shepherds?
In search of their sheep
lost in newspaper

Somehow I sit on a bag...
     of glass Christmas *****
“Must get my vacuum!”
That dead animal, coated by dust
and buried in laundry--
has tangled itself in its own cord
and tumbled headlong to the basement

Crooked photos of daughters
watch me...
smiling (Can it be?)
from a hundred miles and years away?
Waiting for me to make
that miracle again--
What moms do at Christmas

Phone rings
    “Jing-a-ling, are ya listening?”
     It's the bill collector's recorded
     “This is inexcusable!” message
      Charities are legion
      I say, “There is a line”

Later--
seen only by the peaceful stars...
the donkey of Bethlehem
stumbles in-- laden with groceries
dumping them on the bed/couch
...and back outside for the next load
...and back to the bed again
Why bother making it?
Not as if the cat cares
He likes his blankets niched and lumpy
Not as if some modern home magazine's
planning a photo-shoot!

The mailbox, meanwhile
is preggers  with glossy catalogues
...and bills...and
“Wouldn't your whole family enjoy a sunroom?”

Dropping the bags
searching for a light
turning up the heat--
     gas bill
     sewer bill
     “Tis the season for a new Toyota!”
I try to understand the point
of a Christmas card with printed signature
Can I stuff myself in with the recycling?

Then, back outside for the single-woman drama
     “Hauling in the Tree”
Storm door catches the hem of my coat
Pine needles, leaves, snow and mud
mark the end of the trail

On my belly twisting screws
       “Son-of-a-******* tree stand!”
Knocking my daughter's picture off the wall
       “Serves 'er right fer laughin!”
**** thing's crooked and dripping
with melted snow

It's 8:30 PM

The cat is hungry and crying
I hit the bottom-- and the button
for the background of a human voice
Three naked chickens are waiting on the counter

At some point, I will take off my coat...

Right now--
I drink a beer while standing

To get a better view....
I'm sure there are more than a few parents among us poets, trying to make the holidays merry and memorable for their families despite the ongoing demands of work, loneliness, loss and the season swirling around us.  It can be pretty hectic.  Some will struggle more than others.  This poem is for them.
 Dec 2016
zebra
ill take you slow
over the long night
it could be our own party
of tender kisses and blood letting
your coos and soft whispers
a cut
oh daddy
another mmmm
kisses that drool tears
your ******* soaked through
do you have any idea how sweet that is for me
its the perfect wordless compliment to a man
like when i ***
deep in your sweet *****
or looking into your fire eyes
your mouth
shimmering
blood on white teeth pearls
drenched
loves trove
how could it ever end
sweet languishing
bloodalicious tongue
coos and oos and tender cries
as i undo you my sweet darling
your belly and **** blood soaked
for kisses and licks sake
turbulent mouths
as it drizzles and pools at your pretty feet
after devils play
i cinch you up with soft gauze
your **** death skirt
red splotch print
gaudy
my **** down your throat
a bloated jelly lozenge
you look up so bright
gleeful
knowing the coup de grah is coming
your in the mood you said
and call DO MEEEEEEEEEEE
i grab the shank of your hair firmly
ecstatic
and slit your neck wide and deep
you blink and shudder
as your smile morphs
to exquisite horror
a baffled grimace
o sweet surprise face
an eye floating in mud
then darting wild
wonderment
skull sockets like melting moons
mouth
a ****, like twisted metal
your new world
in ten seconds, a dim smudge
doped
evaporating
a ghastly pleasure
sets my soul feral
disavowing lifes clatter
you feel  a dark caress
but whos
dissolutions embrace
oh **** witch
terrors grace
to fall through
the ******* hole
as i flood you
with ***** white rushing panic
butter butter butter
and watch you squirt rhythmically
the last quart of blood you've got
your arteries
empty tunnels
your mouth plush red
hysterical mutterings
only gasps
bewilderment dissipation
till you slump
a ruined creel
glittering
your **** and ****
a stained camellia
your womb silky kisses steadfast
caressing **** till dark
your sworn promise kept
black candles flicker
until last light
i would whisper
oooooooooooh
my beloved
and cu cu cu cu cummmmm
only a few beats to go now
you widen your haunches
and make ready
for last *****'s wave
last thump
blood pulse
your surrender
gasum tsunami
paradise

then deaths rattle
pyres and fires
like a small house
a blazing ruin
left
collapsing in on itself
popping cherry red embers
smoke and ash
my beloved a memory
held forever
pristine
tears tears tears
My poems remain explorations of the subconscious ******
If i where a film maker or a novelist  you  would see me telling a story not judge me  although i admit to my paraphilias  
These poems  are lunar anamorphic streams of consciousness from the deep chaotic subterranean glitz of transgressive  impulses we all share
Read them if you dare...You might find that part of yourself that you don't want you to know about
 Dec 2016
Torin
Imagination change
It can never be as strange as this
Lockdown in the attic
The basement
Even the echoes of the shadows
Show face

I've given up on you
I've forgotten how to italicize
I hope I got it right
I hope


I hope

(By the way, not a part of the poem,
Unless it is,
You decide,
You make bad decisions)

Now these ghost
Are living
Creature of doubt
In my living room
Show teeth

Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
And never be satisfied

This backlit screen
Becomes host to my worst fear
I've given up on you
When you, gave up on me


There are deeper darks in the night
Most never see
 Dec 2016
aj
i am a mouthful of acid

cheeks puffed with sin,
dripping down onto my waning grin

a divorce of possibility
burning me out,
and my heart keeps breaking
every time the sun brings doubt

there is a broken promise in my bones
cracking and cutting me into
worthless stones

a puddle on a winter day,
letting ripples break the counterfeit painting
of a happy fade
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