Today seems brighter than yesterday,
Tomorrow no longer stands in my way.
Was it A gentle change from the wind,
That turned A grimace to A grin.
Maybe the new colour I saw in the rainbow,
That reminded me, of how little I know.
Or was it the bird who changed its melody,
So I could sing along, when it sang to me.
Possibly the flower that bowed, as I walked by,
That brought the beauty back to my eye.
Yes, I Thank them all ~
It’s far too kind,
To bless me with your precious time.
At last though, it was the words I saw,
Amongst the moon and stars read,
You Can Always Return, Once You’ve Gone Too Far.

my worst habit is my tendency
to binge
on absolutely everything.

“moderation”
you remind me, constantly.
to that I say,
my precious
as I consume
   consume
        consume


i don’t like my sober mind.
i feel too much like
my mother,
whose worries eat her alive.

inebriation gives me
the power
to not give a ****!
something i lack when in sober thought.

****,
it’s like anything and everything
causes a stress and worry
i just want to be away from it
for a little while.

that little awhile
being every day
at every chance i get.

You strut
and cluck
like a grown up
chicken,

wine and moan
like something
is missing,

get ******
because
I keep dismissing
your unwanted
attention,

think your
some bad ***
spy
on a super-secret
mission,
but in the end
you'll get
no admission
to my inner dimension
because
you are not worth
the spit
I use
to shine
my shoes.

You say
I neglect
the respect
that
your owed,

but you’re not
so just stop
cause I won't
do what
I'm told.

You may be proud,
but I'm not cowed
just cause you
shout that loud,

and the truth
that I gleam
from the way
that you scream
is that you’re not
what you wanted to be.

Your more like me
it seams
just struggling to be
heard and seen
on the same city streets.

The conclusion
I come to
is the same one
you run from,

we are all just
human beings.

Parents Evening;
At the tender age of two,
What will they tell me,
about you?
From the beginning,
You sat there - legs swinging.
Posture slouched,
Lips placed in pout.
You looked at me,
With A smile so sweet.
Then glanced across,
Towards the empty seat.
You fidgeted you fiddled,
You picked and you nibbled.
Your teacher entered,
And she read,
Your report that clearly said -
Ava is A lovely girl,
Who speaks so well!
When in defence,
She can raise hell.
So kind to her friends, and shares a treat!
She rather has a stubborn streak.
To summarise, without much time,
Your daughter is doing perfectly fine!
I looked towards my little girl,
Our thoughts linked, our eyes synced,
So we could swap our secret smile,
For she truly is - Me as A child.

If I were A pessimist,
I’d look at life, and hiss and spit.
If I were A optimist,
I’d look at life, and think what bliss.
Yet I am A realist,
So life to me is hit and miss.

Walls that surround are suffocating.
They’re inducing hyperventilating.
Flip my insides upside down,
Blood pressure spikes then regrounds.
Switch my breathing to automatic,
Mind goes blank, theres only static.
Feels like hands around my neck,  
So much so I have to check.
Vital signs don’t look so good,
Nothings working as it should.
How did I create this manic,
My head is governed by the panic.
Cant I learn A new response,
Something that serves me for once.
Stuck in this mode fight or flight,
Self infliction my worst plight.

i have stood amidst the stacks
in the Library of Congress, stared
up at all the books flanking the walls.
i tried to count, once. too many,
the more’s the pity. still,
at least i found a metaphor
for the way your mind unfurls
like the pages of my favorite book—
spine cracked, annotated notes
crowding the margins, dog-eared
corners creased to mark
the contours where i stopped
to linger.

splay my gaze across the parchment,
chasing consonants left and right
and back again. encyclopedic psyche,
blossoming as i play my fingertips
across the periphery of your philosophy.
a hundred-hundred questions spill
from me like a Rube Goldberg Machine,
one inquiry triggering the other
in an endless cascade of mystery.

if i cannot shrink myself down
and lead your white blood cells
into the fray, i will remain
to stitch your battle-scars.
watch as i spin
words like thread
weaving polysyllabic,
kaleidoscopic tapestries
if only to grant you
some measure of comfort.
and if these lines
can make your heavy heart
light, then they will tumble
like waterfalls from my lips
buoy you in their expanse
until you float upon the surface
light as air, iridescent.

The flowery fruit fell
into the briny blue
sea froth,
and saw the tides
pull it farther from
the tree on the cliff
that was once
its home.

There it went
recently wind swept
into the red depths
that swelled
and dwelled
on the edge of
some underwater
coral bed.

But there were
little clown fish
that swam by
and nibbled a bit,
there was
soft tangles of seaweed
that occasionally
stalled the trip,
and above there was
a shimmering spectacle
of light bent
but still coming in.

I to
was once
a sweet fruit
born of beauty's
looming sorrow,
not living for today's harvest
but grieving
for the thieving
loss of all
my tomorrows.

Until,
I forgot about the light.
Then all my fears came clear
and consumed my
sea faring soul.

One door away from heaven,
One step closer to the edge
A shot gun at seven eleven
Stepping over the ledge
Two kids looking for a quick ride
Into the pits of hell
From their forsaken lives
Needles didn't work
Pills didn't get the job done
So, they took stroll
With their favorite gun
Two second left
Till the end of time
Teller goes for the gun
To blow their mind
Two young punks barely even flinch
Finally getting what they wanted
Was a cinch

This is it I hear her scream
As I weep and dream sweet dreams
I've had it with your whiny ways
Listen up now or else you'll pay
I can not hear her nor do I try
I just curl up and try and hide
If you don't come out I'll tan your hide
Keep this up and your going to die
Still I conceal myself
Cornered in this shadowy shelf
Praying that the sun will come
Before I have to go on the run
She searches through each room
And as each moment pass I feel my doom
Edging closer and closer by the minute
If death was a boat I'd jump right in it
Still I hide weep and cry
And in these shadows I pray to die
Better to feel nothing at all
Then her fist crunched in a ball

Regrets

I didn't seem quite right

I though I should have known

After that big fight

She went home all alone

He hurt her with his word

And slapped her in the face

Still she turned the other cheek

Ignoring the disgrace

Her smile simply melted

And faded in the wind

As he took his fist to her face again

I wish that could change it

if I had a second chance

I'd take that ******* *****

And staple it to his pants

But things don't alway work out

The way that we would like

She went home that night early

And took both of their lives

It begins with the hunger
A deep and painful feeling
Consumes his entire being
And leaves him weak and reeling

The need drives him to attack
A nibble here or just a snack
He waits in the alleyways  
To dine on one who's lost their way

The primal urges rise from within
The darkest hunger consumes him
And in this moment of passion
He is transformed into a wolf of action

His hands extend twisting to and fro
His eyes bulge and neck lays exposed
Body quivering with pain and anticipation
As he begins his dark transformation

The flesh reveal itself as it tears and stretches
Hand ripping across his face ripping and scratching
The fur forces itself out of his chest
As his screams become howls of agony

Finally his leg bend and crack
He is finished and ready to track
The hunter is finally unleashed
Beware of the darkness  fear the beast