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 May 2016
pastelflowr
I have reached
The point in my life
Where death
Is the only option
I have
 May 2016
summer
I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,
it started like a dream,
a girl like you,
confident and willing to talk to me,
despite my looks and my thoughts about myself,
i remember the days we spent,
sitting and talking,
laughing and smiling,
talking about art,
about flowers,
about our different taste in music,
it's okay because i wanted to be near you,
i wanted you to know me,
like me,
but then things changed,
you changed,
your jokes began to get more real,
too painful for me to bear,
i started to get upset,
feel things i never felt before,
you,
you shouldn't be having this effect in me,
you,
i love you,
a little too late for that,
a little too late for everything,
you moved on,
did i mean anything to you?
did you love me?
the way i loved you,
did you feel the same?

i guess not,
you moved on,
as if i was nothing but a chapter,
in your book,
i tried,
i tried to move on,
soo badly i wanted something more,
than to feel this craving for you,
and to know,
i couldn't have you,
i tried to listen,
to the other girls,
tried to take my mind away from you,
but it always,
always came back to
you,

i heard them,
but i wasn't listening,
all i could really hear,
was your voice,
and the last thing you said to me,
sorry,
a stupid little word,
sorry,
i ****** up,
sorry,
i wasn't enough,
sorry,
you had to leave,

what's the point anymore,
of anything,
of caring for you,
only to have you use me,
what's the point,
on wanting love again,
wanting someone else,
for them to do the same thing,
find someone better,
leave me,
without telling me,
and break my heart,

yes,
you broke my heart,
yes,
it will take a while,
yes,
i still think about you,
yes,
this is all too painful,

i message you,
i waited and waited,
for your reply,
my eager little heart,
thinking maybe you will say something else,
but no,
all you said was sorry,
i thought that maybe,
i would feel something from it,
feel closure,
let it go,
but it didn't,
these feeling won't go away,
and i need them to go away,
please,
can you just,
go away,

I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,
i wrote this poem on request from a friend. he was going through heartbreak. we share the same story, the same pain, the same ache and desire for the person who left us. i thought i would help him get it out of his system, so i wrote him this poem. but i didn't think it would have a huge effect on me. but it did. so here it is, our shared heartbreak story.
 May 2016
Ree Bunch
June 17, 2006 was my golden birthday; as it was the year I turned 17.
Senior year was to start in a mere 2 weeks- I’ve already started dreaming of how my life would be.

Curfew extended because I was almost grown…
Prom night dance and tearful graduation hugs..
Youthfulness that’ll depart slowly while at University..
I even dreamed of meeting my future husband to be..

But August 2, 2006 had other plans in mind; as it was the last time I saw my mommy alive.
Life changed so quickly then- she was buried on the 8th and I moved to Baltimore by the 10th.

I became a shell of who I used to be- no longer living in my perfect shaped fantasy.
It’ll be ten years in a couple of months, and every summer uninvited depression slowly comes.
Every summer I find myself crying for no reason and becoming extremely down on random days.
 May 2016
irinia
“sometimes I get nervous
when I see an open door”*

not really in the mood for this
“who are you?”, I was asked
and the prolonged tears suddenly receded from language
shoulders, heels, nails looking for something closer to the happiness of sunken ships or whatever
my antishoulder, antiheel hurts
when you take my face into your hands
to drag my eyes into your cries
it’s just you and me now mother
let’s face it
your dying is my breath
my joy your death bed
temptation your authority
into the cemetery of numb disillusions
you wouldn’t let go of the death of words
you keep your sleeping pills for good
on empty shelves

I’ll stay in the doorway
to watch my birth
catching up with myself
 May 2016
Ann M Johnson
Sometimes my mind seems so full of thoughts
  Ideas spilling overflowing
   like ink onto paper

  Other times
my mind seems hazy
or just rainy day lazy
The more that I try to think  
more elusive my thoughts become
making me feel like I'm temporarily numb
 May 2016
This Guy
You will always be the door that would never close

You will always have a special place in my heart

You will always be
my one that got away

I do love you
and yes,
I do want to spend my time with you

but as hard as it seems,
We need to say our goodbyes,
We need to let this go,
We need to go back

So, goodbye, my love.
I am really happy with what we **had.
 May 2016
Grimmest
Exposed
Afraid
  To be real
   An illusion
    Artificial smile
     Manufactured interest
      Painful apprehension
       An Impending encounter
        No escape
         Succumb
          Detached from self
           Dissociated mind
            Plastic eyes
             Void of feeling
              Mechanical heart
               Foul abandonment
                Self-pity
                 Worthless
                   Squandered life
                    Exit right
 May 2016
Pia
Use a ******
The world doesn't need another you.
 May 2016
Got Guanxi
^
lightning doesn’t strike twice
two feet and two knees that nobble occasionally,
and chatter like teeth in an arctic freeze.
Together in harmony.
Now since the rain clouds
washed those other clouds away,
and you were drained.
When you breathed a rainbow,
golden soul,
and drew the route of you in the window,
pain.
Primary coloured moments;
exposed in chrome,
caught in time,
no remains.
But then the stars and superlatives came to play.
And the memories fade.
When the night first spoke and the sun laid to rest.
He spoke of Moondust and mistrust of the Government.
They told him once,
and they told him twice,
that science could only be defined by what we know.
So he searched the stardust on the seabed,
and seeked what he sowed.
Oceans away from home,
only to piece together tiny shards of shattered stars,
with those telescopic time machines that he used to own.
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