Notes on a life not quite lived
Things you said in your sleep
Showed how well I turned out
My past, my future: your hell
War was lost, but who's the winner?
Sometimes I wish I hadn't been her
Under a sky painted with dreams
You waited still for me

Here you are, once again
Betrayed by one you thought a friend
Like embers burn but never mend?
Like echoes call but meet no end?
You mourned the deception that never was
The lies, the trust, my sinless flush
"Two can play this game" they say
Can they?

But I let you run away
Storm out, it's empty greys now
Just look at your face
Never thought I'd save you then betray you
Lucrative choices made
Caught in the games we both played
Still see you there, still see your stare
Full of what I call despair

Venom trickles down your throat
Bought that love was what you spoke
I was a secret: you, an oath
We both swore we'd be there
What you believe is what you see
The truth was drowned in secrecy
I locked my heart and hid the key
I fed your hope for it to bury me

I let you run away
Storm out, it's empty greys now
Just look at your face
Never thought I'd save you then betray you
Lucrative choices made
But your ending came in vain
Still see you there, still see your stare
Full of what I call...

You.
You came to us, longing to start anew
We let you in, like all wrecks do
But not in too deep:
Not to the point where you'd know about the strangers beneath,
The black sheep.

You got misguided towards the better part, the packs
We weren't surprised
After all, you were trained to do that
It was only a matter of time before they advised you against us,
Before you were baptised.
But wouldn't you have wished to know, we were there:
Clad in calm, I mirrored the snarl -
And you and your beasts saw kin, not prey
Until it was too late.
You spent hours looking for black sheep amongst the herds, a break through
But doesn't black blend beautifully with slate?
We were
                  a
            m
     o
n
g    
s        
t            
you.
And then you saw them:
My people, my family, my friends
And growled, whining for help
Not knowing I'd aid them instead.

But this wasn't enough of a break through (ours, not yours)
We didn't have what we needed
Didn't like the cards we were dealt
So we stayed hidden all this time
My boys, my girls and I
And bid our time till the clock struck midnight
Till we were free from your ties

That's when the lights f l i c k e r e d

Oh, what a silent soul
What a blatant light
What a piteous cause
Turned to dynamite
You thought you saw us?
Well, now you do
At the head of the forest
They said we didn't belong to
Best of all, we shook you
By doing better that what they'd asserted they'd do
And the rest have grown to love us
More than they'd ever loved you.

I'll keep you closer, closer than most
Closer than friends or lovers or foes
Keep a part of you, you'll never know
The sail will remain as the wind goes.

Wise men once said "Take what you need"
But what if what's needed is out of reach?
In the waters of projection, to reach out, to breathe
Is a trap in itself, you'd need to need me.

My clandestine muse, my spring bloom
Covered by all in eradicant gloom
Your rays of light will still hit the moon
But pulling back from you will be my doom.


I'll keep you far, further than stars
Blurring my vision, chipping my heart
Keep a part of you, watch from afar
Moon dims as Sun beams, worlds apart.

Wise men once said "Choose roads that lead higher"
But now I musn't bear you. Oh, what liars!
Chafing my soul, coaxing my fire
I know that sooner or later you'd tire.

My illicit lust, my timely friend
I'm constantly fighting off, having to fend
All those to whom lust you might lend
But what I need is your love, my merciless end.