Knotted up, like my stomach
Every time I think this is the last goodbye
Her pretty eyes will never see the
Melancholy tears I cry

The frayed ends, tangled
Like our web of complex lies
Whether to ourselves,
To spare the hurt when this eventually dies

In loops, the kisses and feel of your hand in mine,
The time rewinds back again to replay the night you came by
Our feelings and bodies,
intertwined

Bundled, the feelings I have in my chest, hidden
I didn’t think I’d be the one so smitten
My heart skips beats at the thought of what we’ve hidden
Questioning these words I’ve written

I want a bow, neat and perfect,
the curl of your bright hair in my touch, your lips upturned in a smile when you say my name,
the ribbon neatly wound around our fingers, tied together in unison,
a harmony without sound

But my hands are tied.

I wish I could reply
“It’s great to hear from you!”
Or
I’m glad you stopped by
But that’s not how you are
And I’ve never known why

Ever since our dad had died
You pulled the plug on us
And now I just sit and cry
But you’ll still say I miss you
Even if it’s a lie

We never got goodbye
You just walked out of my life
Left me high and dry
I needed you most
And you took to the sky

15 years later, I still try
To catch you on the phone
Never left my minds eye
But you are too busy for me
Just another guy.

The way her smile could light the darkest room,
Or shelter you from the worst storm was something to behold,
She could make my off days so much better with so little effort,
it was unbearable

The way her cute button nose looked when you saw her there,
striking orange and fashion sense,
paired with eyes that could unlock the gates to heaven for an atheist,
It was too much to handle

The way her kiss, softer than a cloud, sweeter than the nectar of the gods,
could make honey bees blush,
I could live forever in that moment,
I longed to feel the rush

The way her sentences she spoke could hold me captive, a prisoner of war to her siren song, the river was so deep she dragged me into,
but I longed with all my being to go where I was not meant to tread.

When we both were so bashful, the things we would say in private,
my ears, her cheeks,
our skin
The lightest red

I gave her up, because she was never mine,
and I’ll keep love at a distance,
the short and passionate moments we shared,
close behind.

I fell harder than she ever knew,
she is just so beautiful in every moment, the most colorful hue.
If I ever had a single regret,
it was not finding a way to not lose
you.

A ninety mile per hour fastball
Straight from the pitch
An oncoming pair of headlights
The crunch of my bones
As she shatters my walls
I thought I worked so hard to build

My blood on the pavement as I pour out
My battered and bruised heart
In all of its tiny pieces
She is needle and a thread
The stitch in my veins
The Paramedics won’t be here anytime soon

The last choked bit of air I’ll breathe
Will be full of you
A song I will never finish singing
But love the notes I’ve heard time and time again
They will call a time of death upon arrival

The road was your kiss and I wanted to be all over it,
So the rash is worth it
The skin grafts, my mistakes from previous times
I am patchwork at best, half a man, more parts to be used than a full package

My lungs were blackened from the smoke, but I’d give you them anyways if you asked, tear me limb from limb as you tell me you love me, brutally and with such cold tone

The metal twists my insides as I connect with the hood, my legs off the ground, kind of like how I feel when I’m with you, floating through the air, waiting for the fall.

The last cigarette in my pocket will never be burned, I never got around to telling you how I really felt. I knew the words, like a vice, would be poison to your lips

Sirens will line the street, the sole witness to a love letter unspoken in the rain, my blood washes down the ditch and soaks the grass. No one saw it coming

Before I met you,
I had only ever drank draft beer and never been on a hike.
Now,
I look forward to working out with you on a stationary bike.

I never did anything like buy flowers, or ever want to hold hands,
But with you, I feel something grand.
The cliche that we met, the love at first sight,
It isn't like the movies, but I think that's alright.

You are a spitfire that causes a slow burn,
And now the fire in my heart will ignite,
In the evening with the moon full,
You are such a beautiful, pure sight.

When my fingers touch yours, idle on the bed,
I cant help but let warm thoughts
Seep into my head.

Button mashing beauty,
Your eyes see through me,
Every country song we sang
The notes in my head rang

As you squeeze my hand again,
I like us more than friends,
Don't make me just pretend,
I'm not thinking of you again.

I’ve never had someone over as much as you,
I know i'm a mess, and you’re feeling blue
But i'm working hard to better myself,
So you don't just put me back on the shelf.

You are a dork, but then so am I,
You mean so much to me, can't you see why?
I don't open up often, not prone to cry.
But somehow with you I don't have to hide.

So please kiss me once more,
Outside of my door,
Let me watch you drive up to my place,
You'll see the smile on my face
A man so lucky,
With a dream divine,
One day, I swear,
I'll call you mine.

Hey again.

I suppose it's been a while since we have talked, yeah?

I still miss you.

It still hurts sometimes, knowing you’re gone.
Down this path, the road a mile too long.
Wishing you could help me right all the things that i've done wrong,
Or tap my foot along with you to your favorite song.

I know it isn't much, but i'll keep you in my heart
Every beat i'll think of you, but that's only just the start,
Now i'm crying every night, flooding my room just after-dark
Soon i'm gonna need a paddle, soon i'll need to build an ark

When i hear an engine run, i think of all the fun
I miss the road trips to Iowa, i miss being your son
There are so many more things i wish i could've done
Start a family with you here, make you proud, my number one.

This tight pain in my chest,
With all the secrets that i kept,
The lonely nights where i stayed up,
Broken and depressed,
I cannot sleep, barely eat, hardly get my rest
I miss you dad, i always have
Just know you were the best.

At twenty three it's hard to see,
A future once so bright,
I'm searching for, the answer or
Some philosophy or might,
The strength to stand, to be a man,
That i can be, I'll fight
So one more time,
I’d like to hear
How you’re so proud of me.

Like a recorded dream, I’ll believe it still,
The hopes sitting on my window sill
But i know i cannot reach you there
Not with bottles, or razors or pills.

If I could just talk with you again,
Maybe things wouldn't feel so sad,
We could catch up like old friends,
I'd really like that, dad.