today, i will write
the fantasies in my head
only through the air

Yes, i have friends
...or do i?
you see, there is a difference between having friends
and having someone you eat your lunch with
...or is there?
no, no, no, let's not doubt ourselves
let's not overthink things
...or are we?
nonetheless, at least you have someone
it's better than having none at all
...or is it?
I'm lonely, aren't I?
i'm wasting my smiles, my stories, even probably my breath
with people who will never care
...or will they?
does this normally happen to anyone?
that even amidst a group of people
one could still feel very alone
that even when you knew them for sometime now
they still feel like strangers
...or is this just all in my head?

this is getting too toxic
in my hopes of getting the likes, the reactions, the followers i want from people
this isn’t healthy
for everyday checking my social media to check my inboxes just to see I received nothing from the person i wish would message me
this is not by the influence of our society
it is simply just me
with the idea that being famous
that by being loved by everyone
is the key
to get out of being lonely

I feel the pain. I can feel it weigh me down. I asked a friend once, “how do you live with it?” And she answered me, “You just have to get used to it.”

I want to cry. I want to let the pain out of my system. I want to be vulnerable. I want to break. I want to show you the pain you’re causing me, the burden you are putting me through.

But what would that make me? Another you, probably.