Hard to miss, you can take me home.
I'd rather be anyone than to be alone.
Marlboro-stained teeth
have my lips controlled.
Don't mistake the chemicals
for our souls.

I move with the waters inside your ribcage.
Because when I drown in you,
it's the perfect place.

Softly, please, taking off our clothes:
I can see the kisses that have left holes.
You've been acid-washed
by love that wasn't stronger.
Take off your armor,
so you can stay here longer.

Your face is as cold
as the place I found you in.
You can let go of the hurt
trapped beneath your skin.

I keep warm in your fire that beats fast.
To be alone with you, it to be, at last.

Hard to miss, I will take you home.
You can be anyone, rather than be alone.
Remove your shoes, but not your heart.
You can stay here, as our world falls apart.

I can taste your bones in my mouth
decadent, exhausted

you peeled my skin back
and watched me burn brighter than the skyline on fire
pierced reds pulsing pitch

I left the morning with my head on your pavement
staring into nothing

i'm still trying to figure out how to tell someone i love
that i don't want to exist anymore on this earth
how are you supposed to say that
killing yourself sounds like a better option than suffering through life with half a mind

i think about what people would do if i were to die
would they cry?
would they pretend they were my friend and wish they'd talked to me longer?
i don't think feigning relationships is such a good way to say goodbye
but hell
at least i'd be known to have a lot of friends

it makes me sad to think that my body has gotten so tired
that i fall asleep in my classes when i used to be the only one awake
it's almost like i'm 80 years old on the inside and my heart is failing with my lungs
and i'm 16 on the outside with bags the shades of night
i'm peppered with bruises the colour of magenta but i find they bring me comfort
it lets me know i'm not the only thing breaking

my veins are too

i've always been a sucker for blue eyes
and delicate souls
and fingers that whispered me to sleep
on rising and falling chests
with the rivulets of breath ruffling my hair
and hands that soothed my tense shoulders
with gentle rubs and strong grasps
i've always been a sucker for boys with soft hair
and imperfections
scars like stars littering skin the colour of honey
and words like freedom and hope
that make me taste a future
i'm certain of
i've always been a sucker for boys who
tell me they love me to the moon and back
but leave the next day for pluto
with a different girl

There are the days that love swells and grows infinitely around me.
It will pick me up and throw me over its shoulder in bliss and sing me to sleep with harmonics so angelic my tears themselves begin to cry.
There are the days when love will never be proven wrong, when nothing matters but love.

         And then there is today.

These days haven't been the same without you
I've said it a million times
But it's become just a nagging in the back of my head
A tug on the nape of my neck
"Where is he?"

It's almost like you never existed
Although I can still see you out of the corner of my eye
Sometimes you'll slip into focus
Then out
Like a microscope lens was brought closer
And then lost

What was it like to laugh with me?
I can't quite remember the last time we kissed
Was it in your car with the windows fogged over and words
Written with a shaking finger through the condensation.

What ever happened to being friends?
I know that you thought we could never be anything but lovers
But we could have tried to be less.
We knew each other inside and out before we became one
It's like we forgot how to memorize voices and touches

Being sad about this seems silly
But nostalgia's a ***** when it makes a home in your heart
And dwelling on the past doesn't help things
Especially when all you can think of is what I could have said to you
These days

Both of us have fallen apart
Have you noticed that?
You're in some deep ****, honey.
I'm somewhere up in the universe without air and nothing but star dust making my throat close up.