I hardly remember
a ******* thing
about that day
before gazing into his eyes
once again, for the first time

rushing toward the exit
running from the baggage claim;
it was all a blur,
as walked through those doors
all I remember was the vastness
of the first sight,
stepping into the bright, unfamiliar place
& nothing else, but him

I scanned the crowd
the strange faces waiting
for loved ones
emotion thick enough to touch
in the air,
but just to my right
in the front
with his body pressed up against the metal bar,
I saw him

it was the first time I saw his face
not through a photo or webcam
in a time that was so long it ached
I think I lost my breath
did I leave my things behind when I ran?
I don't remember,
I just ran to him

it was too surreal
I can't remember a moment between
seeing his face, & kissing his lips
nor what kind of kiss it was
or how long it lasted
I just couldn't fathom it
I was really there
it was really him
& it didn't matter where we were
it was all a wonderland
to me, I was holding his hand again
everything was bright & new
it was magic, pure magic

The way he looks at me,
Flirtatious and full of life,
He doesn't yet know me,
Nor my fabulous gay life.

He is not gay- that I can tell,
But the way he looks at me,
I’m under his spell.

The sparkle in his eyes,
The secrecy of his smiles,
Butterflies in me churn,
Ones which fly for miles.

We have never spoken,
But I can't start now,
Because he wouldn't accept me,
Not then, not now.

He is so kind,
Filled with courage,
Rugby ball in his hand,
In the gym he takes his stand,
Well, what can I say,
That is my boy.

Have I told you lately how much I love you
Have I told you how I try
To be ok when we're apart
Even though you know I lie
For when we distance my heart is broken
And my spirit falls so deep
I cannot wait to be together
To hold you when I sleep
Your voice, your eyes, your lips, your thighs
Your laugh, your giggles, your *** when it wiggles
Your skin, your nose, your legs, your toes
It's all of you my darling, it's you I desire