Wrapped myself in a red velvet dress and a flower in my hair
Ready for the night with a guest
Lips twitching to a ghostly glare
Bit frighten, my hollow chest

As I opened the door,
Misery enters confidently
Bringing with him an emotional distress, I could not ignore
So I welcomed him, paradoxically

The second night, Misery came again
This time, bringing his friend, Lonely
I let them in again and didn't complain
No choice at all, I endured their company

Each night I would embrace Misery
And instead of dancing with my shadow
Now I tango with Lonely

Misery and Lonely, my visitors at night
Consistent like the moon, they are
in their company I find solace and delight
I could not escape, the light is too far

all seemed chaos
incoherence and seeming defeat

it was as if in crucifixion i walked
but for awhile

resistance commenced corroding
to surrender

in quiet then the gift appeared
more majestic than i possibly could have imagined

oh god you were there all along
and i never journeyed alone

and lo, but with acceptance of this truth
all was revealed

©2016janetaylor

The minutes are feeling much more like hours
Caught in the midst of all these May showers
In the shattered memory my heart will surely drown
No place to find reprieve and the only way is down

Time doesn't steal anything from you,
it changes you.
It lets you watch your grandmother,
a strong woman, sturdy,
a force to be reckoned with:
shrivel,
become small.
Her size reminding you
of when you'd lay beside her
as a child.
Her back to you, watching her massive shoulders move
like calm waves on a shore with each
breath.
The presence of that giant
chased the nightmares away.
And you realize that it was the only time that feeling small
felt so good,
and being big now
felt so terrible.

Time doesn't steal anything from you.
It conspires with your brain
to help you perfectly
remember
the time the boy you loved gazed down from above you,
the moment
before a kiss.
The moment that will always feel longer
than any other in your life.
But time obliterates any words that were said
from memory.
Obliterates any useful information,
any conversations.
Does not allow you to remember
each
and every day.

The momentum of time allows you infinite moments
to live in your past
today.
Like living in the moment
that you woke up on your 5th birthday
to your mom who spent
all morning
blowing up hundreds
of balloons.
Time let's you remember that feeling
of opening your eyes
to magic.
Remember feeling more loved
than you will ever feel.
Time gives you this moment,
but takes away
the day.

Time is indifferent as you plummet into the future.
Dragging behind you the images and words of
an optimistic kid
that you hope to keep alive.
Time is indifferent
as it demands you wake up,
and start over
again
and
again.

I remember my Mother and how she took care of me.
I hope there is someone like her out there for me.
As much as I want to go and find her, I have to trust the Lord.
He knows the right time, place and person, how and why.

I remember my Mother and I think about her everyday.
I wish she could still be here to say everything will be ok.
But I know she is with Jesus and is guiding my way.
I just have to be patient and not let my feelings give way.

I remember my Mother she was like no one else.
I think about her when I feel lonely.
I thank her everyday for giving birth to me.
I want to make her proud and not look away from me.

So when I get lonely I remember my Mother.
And I pray to the deepest depths of my being.
That one day I will have it all together,
and God will have someone like her for me.