I wonder
What you saw when you looked at me
Drinking with the devil's thirst
Smoking the cowboys dirt
Laughing much too loud
Walking round the next day in my ex's stolen underwear
Bloodshot eyes and ready for another round
I was chaos and storms
I was weather worn
But inside I was holding me together
With the too loud music and too much fake smiles
I was something too behold
I wonder what you saw
When you looked at me
I was told you like to fix things
And to you I'd be the ultimate challenge with all my broken dreams
I told you to leave well enough alone
That I'm putting myself back together on my own
You heeded my warnings not
You looked at me as though I was all you saw
And into my heart and life you clawed
You spoke to me through my favourite songs
Made me feel like to you alone I belonged
You said you never felt this way and that I was your safe place
I wonder now
When I look at you
How hard it must've been
For you to pretend you're all in
How you must've hated every moment we touched
Though how well you did fake lust
I shudder to recall
How difficult for you to fake those looks
All your tricks, you said you learned from books
Your romantic ramblings must've been so tiring
You made me feel like I was dying
How hard was it for you, I wonder
You faked it all so convincingly
Everyone believed it, even me
I thought I met my other half
While you thought you were smart
I hope someday I'll find it funny
For all your great intentions you forgot
About what happens at the end, we both lost
You lost a friend, I a lover
You quickly went back to your other
And I am back at the start
So your pretty words didn't fix me like you hoped
I was doing fine, I would've coped
Just fine without your interference
Your intentions were careless
You broke another piece off me
For all your good intentions, you trying to show me how good it can be, and wanting to fix me, I fell in love with you, how could I not? You tried so hard to make me. And then you left and said you lied about it all. You broke me a little more