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when I love someone
I don't want to love their
gender or their skin
I want to love them
their laugh
their smile
their eyes
their humor
their kindness
their thoughtfulness
their talents
their skills
I want to love them
for them
not a made up version
of them
I want them to be theirself
and be proud
they don't need to be
a girl
or
a boy
or
gender nonconforming
I will love them
for them
and what they look like
does not matter
"I don't love a body,
that's just skin and bones,
not somebody"
happy pride month!!
Last night I dreamt
Of music
And theatre
Front row seats

I could see
Every expression
Every fake tear
Every barely hidden laugh
Like I was in on the joke

There were some others
Too, I think
People I knew
People I loved

Together we smiled
There, in the front
Upon plush red seats
Numbers 88
To 91

Until suddenly
BOOM!
The air ripped me apart
Only a second of realisation
Before that world was gone
Basically imagine the bomb-test scene from Oppenheimer. The dead quiet before the sound hits.
I for the life of me can't remember what preceded this part of the dream--something weird I'm sure--but I remember it ended with a bomb that legit felt so realistic (well...as far as I can imagine) I could feel the vibrations of the hit. I didn't even have time to be scared in the dream. No waking up with a sudden lurch either. It was just
BAM
****
gone, and I was awake.
For a few seconds after waking I briefly considered the idea some people believe that "dreams are glimpses of alternate universes". Had some version of me just died? Ridiculous, but I entertained it the way you entertain daydreams.
I mourned a little for imaginary me.
It made me think of the scary times we live in. Things could change, just like that. Things are changing.
I've kept this pain away.
Held it at bay,
since the day
of Your
unwanted
touch.

Now You are old.
I take care,
as this is My loving
duty. Reversal of
roles.

Time has stilled
the tremors
of angst.
Turmoil and
discomfort.

Yet, when bothered,
Your harsh tones
enter My body
and heart,
unwanted.

Perturbation
with words,
accusations that
I was the
troubled one...

Grown Woman
that I am,
I find myself
11 years old
once again


Copyright © 2016. Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
the blood of the covenant
is thicker than the water of the womb
Love isn't geometry
There's no need to prove it

Love is only a feeling
You can feel it

in every little gesture.
in every little deed.

in a smile.
in the eyes.
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