The appearances of no-thing

Appearances are all that arises

All of those seeming-things and our

Seeming-self among them

Seeming to be here and gone

That seems about it...

This is a journey of freedom

Floating free..some like to say..of

Conventional separation..and more:

Separation-seen-through leaves an empty

Immensity allowing everything to

Express without boundaries..appearances

Arriving spontaneously without any fences

Of time and space..yet even separate things

Appear in time-and-space garb..but do not

Grab the headlines..and make way for

New red and blue ribbons decorating and

Un-decorating a landscape of freedom..

Sound like freedom..? Or another story

Containing too many words.. satisfying

An expectant quest...?

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

How do the senses relate to "being?"  The senses can seem to
be objects residing in a subject/object world, but perhaps there
is a unicity present, in that, senses and sensing might seem as
one, or being.  The mind will picture things like eyes or noses
which pull into the separation cage of belief and illusion.  But,
backing off from all these floating thoughts, with their nagging
dissatisfactions, it might dawn that being appears as senses
and sensing, and eyes and noses..and separation's shadings of
being are blatantly exposed...

Attention

Appears to be a directed perceiving of what

Shows up in line of sight..nothing startling

About that boring clarity..until we consider:

Attention demands a viewer and an array

Of objects asserting themselves..and we may or

May not notice sitting quietly in a dark corner

An assumption of separation..a quiet deception..

Dissolving the deception..nothing remains

But playing appearances..entering and

Departing from seemingly nowhere..and an

Aroma of real and not real..solid and not..

Also..entering the playground are thoughts of

Attention and a viewer and an array of

Objects..this new trio of players..front and center..

Arriving from nowhere...

There are appearances of many journeys..but

Let's imagine that there is only one..

It is the journey inward..and not inward..to

Discover that which can never be discovered on

Any journey..as goalposts dissolve in the tears that flow

And burning flames leap..behind and ahead..

The pavement and the bicycles

Skateboards and feet falling..seeming to very briefly

Deform the pavement gathering a sensing of the

Excitement of children looking for thrills of more

Risky routes..and of adults sensing the rolling of their

Soles on the sinking pavement..scenes of completion and

Perfection in the gratitude of no-thing deforming...