Nobody has to know about me
I am a person of insignificance
I only prioritize truth or beauty
There is no need to know about me
I am not like the Saints of past
I am no hero who does any deed so valiant
I need every inch of strength to give to my heart
For my heart is weak in times like these
Time makes we wane and wither
I usually can't fall in love
If I do find a true love
It becomes an obsession
To never see the darkness in another heart
I am imperfect in every way
I know that I shall never see that daylight coming
For I know one thing
Nobody will know about me
I will stay invisible to the naked eye
A telescope is needed to see my stars
I am so very near you
I am nobody of significance
I wish to start my journey as Anonymous
Carving no name on this road I pave
Heaven can wait
Until I am nobody's name

You told me in a dream
That when you had a light
I would be able to smoke

How do I say the words?
How do I be that girl?

Always trying to be perfect
Forceful force of nature
Mature for my age
Praying although I have no faith
Faithful to no one
But myself

How do I say the words?
How do I be that girl?

The man is always on the go
Especially when he gets on a roll
There was no ending to that night
But I gave up
I gave up

How do I say the word?
How do I be that girl?

It's about the power
The lamp on the street has changed its meaning
It seems illumination has become delusion
Nobody has love for the girl who stood up
For the man on the street
For the girl who is weak
For the boy who cries wolf
For sympathies' wolf
There is no more love
For any of us

But my father loves me
But He truly cares
And there is no one above me
Nobody's eyes to stare into
When you try to be someone great
The bowl becomes holey
The river flows and flows
How am I supposed to be quenched?
Anyone who wants to be somebody
Has to go through me first
And when nothing comes close to the answer
You're looking for a bubble to burst

How do I say the words?
Do I become that girl?

There are lives I haven't remembered
Memories that are like caged birds
Freckles on skin to give recollection of a sun
I have bathed in when I was once young
The moment I find the gold in the pan of dirt
My simplicity is gone
Trays of tea and food only make me want more
Servants are steadily changing
As I get older
Where does youth go as I age?
Who does my brother become?
Is my sister still around?
There is a starting point after 10 years
Before I know it I'm 30 years old
Without a child or husband
Without a home or car
Still living in my dad's house
How do I move on?

She's like ink on parchment paper
Solid with faded edges
She's got a lot of weight while being light
Trying to make sense of the shape
At the same time respecting it
I respond in kind by being weightless, a feather quill
To her I am a threaded needle, continuously progressing into a seam
Starting from the beginning until the end
Making a garment without any shape or form
Responding in kind with a letter of my own
A
Ey!
Hey.
As cryptic as where we started
It has potential to end
If I continue our thread there could be a *** of gold that isn't a fool's
There could be a painting made for my frame
There is something about her skin that deserves solid lines
That stretches out toward the strobe lights
That makes its way toward the true light
If paradise was meant for the wicked
Then we are created to balance good and evil

So anyway the next day we had the hardest time
Because I haven't loved my twin
Then when I do the things I love the time is ripe
Then when you have a literal mind everyday
I don't even like to read notes
I only know that I have a way with words
I'm writing to you
That I have the worst breath ever
You need to get a grip of yourself
Then when I get to the cab
The man tells me I'm a good person
So I meet a korean man who tells me
Then when we go home
We always have the hardest time

I've figured it out
The meaning
Life tries to beat us down
Until we have nothing left to feel
Until all sensations are plastic mimicry of what we recall it meant to be happy
There are moments when I'm beckoned toward something beautiful
Authenticity is pain
Pain is bad
Love sometimes feels like pain
Is love bad?
No.
We know it isn't
Love is painful because it's a gamble
The loss can be huge
Then we never want to feel the loss again
As I was saying
I've figured it out
The meaning
Life

Today I went to the beach to wait for hail
But then I saw the most beautiful sky
I wonder really who put it there
If it was God or Satan
Because who can really make such beautiful stars
All I know is that when I am not allowed
To hear the satan in my head
I will truly **** a *****

_the end

The past is not what defines us
To be heard takes courage
Using out voice takes guts
Placing effort into a project
Developing a photo we took
Placing our heart out there
If we do have a heart
All of that takes more
Than what we bargained for
When we were born into this world
We don't know what to expect from life
So life itself mustn't suspect what comes out of our mouths

Take away the pretty face
And all that's left is a body
That cries out with shaking
Trembling
Wishing I had defended myself
The past is past
This is my mind
And I know I have to preserve
My right to feel
So I have no face
But I have my body
And I will plunge it into your seas

The moment he saw the ending of the story
He knew that the best was yet to come
He didn't realize that when he saw it coming
It hit him like a big truck
He took the rest of his guts
And piled them back inside

.All the little children are scattered around
The world is a playground
Helping themselves to all its resources
Not thinking about the consequences
It's playtime in the house
Nap time after snack time
Then when we are satisfied
It will all be enough
It is only enough when we are full
But the flesh is designed to be hungry
After the first meal comes the second
Until we are unto our 59,130th
Helpless children grow
Into devouring producers
Help yourselves to my plate of cheese
Then it will be enough till the next

Beautiful skies turning from blue to black
All the night you are temporal
Beauty is transient
Ever changing
Nothing becomes less beautiful
Only changed beauty

A perfectionist
Gets disappointed easily
Even when things are enough or ok
She wants more
Unsatisfied with the beauty
She burns all that is passable

I am averse to having feelings for you
because I think that it is socially unacceptable to have feelings

Neglected as a child that arrived much too late in the family

A girl in indecent clothes passes a group of men
They don't know what to do but be lewd
The girl who must play it cool
Because she's not safe if she is "rude"

Your eyes staring at a part that is not yours but hers
Is controlling the way I spend my money and thoughts
Should we dress the way you think we should?
For a woman who embraces herself
Why must she be contained in a vacuum seal?

I am not sure what the world expects
But in reality
I should't need to know

Half of you think, "She's asking for it"
Well, what is it the skirt asks for?
Is it something good to her?
Or is it like taking drugs?
Sickos

If you expect me to like myself after your amazing lapping tongue performance
Then you have no comprehension skills
Comprehend me, walking fast and away
Comprehend me giving you the finger
Comprehend my mocking laughter
Consider how little you comprehend
Consider being smarter, and more kind
So I could feel you as a loving, inoffensive person

I'd like to write about myself
It's strange that when I am attracted to someone
I make myself repellant
I'd like to talk about how I feel unattractive
I'm self-conscious
So I just hope nobody likes me
Because they'll see
They'll know everything
It's not good
It's worse than I thought
I'm hoping for the best
But I know I should stop hoping
Yet still I don't want to stop
I need that median
Where I feel comfortable with praise
And I''m not so ungracious
I'm worried about nothing
And nothing is what I feel
I had my first pap smear today
It felt empty in there
I can't believe myself
How much I self-sabotage
How I come on too strong
And yet I can't reign in my confidence
Being a woman is tough
I have so much sympathy for us
Or maybe I'm the only woman who has it tough
Some of them seem effortless and graceful
I'm just easy
Don't seek sympathy
Be sympathetic
Don't seek kindness
Because when you feel like crying
You need to smile so others can go on
Everyone knows
Life is tough
Just a little bit more
Stay true.

Resting
Maybe when I'm brave enough to
I'll lay my head on a pillow
Close my eyes
Look inside
I'll say
I'm home at last

There'a pig being slaughtered in the farm
He's taking him to the alleyway
There a grocer will pick him up
And she will cradle his carcass in a vacuum wrap
He is uncontaminated
It make me nervous
Because the grocer sells innocents
The pig had no crime
Merely, he was a pig
But criminals live alongside us
Secrets make them fly in the sky
Hero to all who hope for the glories
In being known for horrible truths
Honest criminals
They eat pigs for dinner
***** criminal chewing an innocent pig
How is life going to get better?
Be vegan or cause the pig to commit a crime?
Be innocent as well? Hell I'm going now
I can't take this discussion

Many years have passed
Since I first felt someone's goodness
That slow enveloping of your smile around my body
Your well-intended words creeping its way to my mind
I was so naive
Believing it was the real thing
I cannot be that way again
Because love does not bring out the best in us alone
It does not caress our cheek or make me smitten with smiling eyes
Love brings out the worst in people, most of all
Many years have passed
You're soft hand on my hair is fondly remembered
Soon it will be 8
And I have only finally made sense of it now
You did the worst possible thing to me
And I am being the worst possible way I could be
Although now I understand
That between the two of us
Only I am given choice
And you have spent all of yours

Serenely she placed her shoulder on the edge of her mother's
Then she went ahead and slept
Showering her dreams with emptiness
Clouding her thoughts with white noise
Almost attempting to be awake
Walking through the dream-like life she had since a babe

I'm not the same as before
I might choose war
I might choose fads
I might choose fortune
I could choose hell

It all comes together
Like a neatly tied package
My anger and my love
Passionate living
Still I can't accept
That I feel so much emotion
I now have the choice of unbridled devotion
If I could become the one who says those words
That I know you hold dearly
Then I will become the flowers in your hair
The food you eat
The scent you hold
I could become everything you need

Hello Mind
It's been a while
I've been alright

Hello Soul
You're so old
I'm quite impressed
You're not yet spent

Hello to the ones I've sought out to impress
With all the efforts I have left
Crumbs of passion in your wake
I am making no mistakes
No blinking while you attack
No breathe wasted on any slack
I am aware of what you say
It's all the same when both mind and soul
Seek me

Helping myself to a second portion
While all the world is on their 4th
How do I make it seem like I am caught up?
When all the world is ahead

Today I write that the women in my hometown
Have the worst habits
They always seem to mince their words
Even if they have the measuring cup
They still can't make the right brew
So my advice is to have the heart
To tell the truth
Even if it hurts the one they love the most
Because they know that deep down inside
I have the worst stinkiest heart of them all
I used to fix my cabinet in order to fix my life
But instead I fix my cabinet in order to have a clean closet
The most I've ever done to become an enemy
Is to tell the truth
About other people
Then in the end I always getting run over by a motorbike
But then even if my old workplace closed down
It hurts to know that my heart is still ouch
Then in the end I have to always figure out a way to break the dishes again
Then tomorrow I will have to figure out what to do next.

-The end

I don't follow the order of anything
There are no rules in me
There is only the deep longing
To invent

She's New York
Present, past
She doesn't know the future
But she knows she'll be in New York
Until she breathes her very last

There is a line where I am most proud of
Crossing it beyond where there is no other left for me but a bridge
I built that for you
There is no other way to get to me
Look over the cities I have erected
Look over the mountains that I have shaved
Look over the forests I've cut down
All I have destroyed
For our eyes to meet in the space not occupied by us

Becoming myself requires me at my worst
It's a process of pure intention
And attention
Becoming what I am
Rather than what I want to be
Means I have to go through life
With a blindfold
Sometimes there are rocks in front of my feet
And I have to trust that I won't trip up
Again
After the 5th time
Because I've been there 4 times

The rose bud is tired
It had a beautiful fly
Then a soil let it be

You will never be old inside if your heart is in that space
Where he feels he is crushed by the weight of affection
When attention is the affection that it so seeks
May it yearn you more in warmth
Rather than winter
Give me summers where we can both be children again in the hot moonlight
I think it's not so bad how you have grown up
But if you could suffer me a bit of scorn
I would surely run in circles
Making a dance out of our rapor

Do I make a connection without the internet?
How do i even take a break from the internet?
I'm pretty much glued to the internet
It's hard being around the internet
I don't like myself with the internet
I think we should start seeing other people, Internet
But everyone is with the Internet
Who am I with without the internet?

Stay broken
Into a million pieces
Don't let them piece you back together
Like a story you did not choose to be
Stay down and sink
Resurrect
When you can escape
Machine gun Kelly

When somebody does something to you that you find offensive
Watch them closely
Even if there is no revenge
You will notice that
They are so in pain when you mention their offense
They cannot breath
They cannot look at you
You have power over them
Let this be a lesson
To all you know who are *******
Let this be a correction

There is a light
That shines
for me
There is an evening star
Just bright for me
And although courage
takes some strength
Hurry
And you'll spend
The rest of the night with me
...
I know that life can be unforgiving
But you and I will keep on living
Under the sky
And wait for me
(Wait for me)

When I finally go
Promise me
You will not follow
And I will wait for you
I will wait for you
Until you come to my side

I know I end things abruptly
Because I feel like life has ended many things abruptly
My parents marriage
My sister's life
My soul mate's life
My innocence
When I yell
It's always about living well
I'm never yelling in anger
Because I'm depressed
I'm depressed so everything makes me happy
I'm depressed so everything makes me happy
It's called bipolar
Manic Depression
Mania due to scrambling for the drug that my brain produces
I can't find it I can't find it I can't find
I love lif

Tomorrow you can feast again
It will be a celebration of celebrations
It will have every famous celebrity
It was be an abundance of wine
It will be very joyous
Free
It will be very happy
Because you deserve to be happy
Very happy

Move on in strokes that light the canvass with brighter color

Recognize me
If I had floral eyes
Reasons to live:
1) New releases
2) Color
3) Cats (Milkshake)
4) Lamps
5) Windows

My left hand is my eldest sister
My right hand is the kid who died
The right foot is my father
The left foot is my mother
My shoulders are my problems
My Head is between my ears
My knees get me forward
Swing Swing Swing
Oh, and my nails are the boundaries
My hair is my thoughts
My scalp is my information
My watch is my reminder
The white rabbit is reminding you
The bangles in your right wrist ring like a bell
Don't forget your feet
Please touch with your palms
Work with your fingers
Your nose knows
Your skin is a map of where you're coming from
My bag holds a body of a criminal
The criminal is my uncle and he mows our lawn with his teeth
Punishment for crimes against family
My name matters (all 5)
My closet is my arsenal of friends I have encountered
My smile is my dad's
My teeth are mine to savour with my tongue

I'm so torn with being alone
I'm trying my best to be free
I'm so tired of being a deception
Is this the time to be me
Maybe it's time I shouldered the burden
Of hoping at last for your affection
Sorting the past is not easy to do
But even in this affliction
I am memorizing you
There is a place where mostly my heart says to become one
And even I praise the reason for the this heart's embrace
Over and over I am above the clouds
Wasting the seasons until you make it to the clouds
At last
I'm memorizing your face
I'm memorizing your language
I hope that there is something to the touch of your embrace

As I eat every morsel off my plate
There is a funny feeling I cannot forget
It's about the little meanings behind every grain
I chew and the feeling doesn't disappear
It's about time I unlocked the meaning behind each bite
Where satisfaction is not the only goal in sight
I have to make sure that you understand this
That one must not eat alone any longer
Because these meals are lessons about people
How every bite tells us about the needs of each other
Every act of the tongue touches the spoon to the food to the entrance of my mouth
Then there is many I cannot say who assume
That this is the best pleasure of life
This bite into heaven
Paradise on earth

If I were a good woman
I would be pure
And good
And holy
But I am none of these three
I am a worldly woman
Who claims her life
Taking it in with trembling hesitance
Clutching it gently
Changing her gears smoothly
Real Women do change
Real Women learn to drive themselves
Women who love men are real too
Maybe more than one
Surely more than two
Possibly more than ten
Women who look for the right man
Are women who reinvent their being
Because we aren't who we say we are
Real women are built
Not born

To start again from the beginning
That's what I would do
If I could choose to finally do what I want
It would be to start again from the beginning
To do what I always wanted
To be a free woman
Free to be good
To see the world and warn them
To never cross-over to the otherside
Because whenever I make a mistake I realize that it didn't free me but trapped me
If I could start again from the beginning
I would read all  my past mistakes
And one at time I would correct them
Keep my favorite relationships intact
Be brave to be proud of who I am
Pay attention and never neglect the heart that is so good and strong
Glue myself back together and make it the strongest glue
So when I get back to this moment I could say
I did it all again and I did it right
This time I can move on because today is right
Let's be honest though that isn't the case
One must face today
Start again
Even if it isn't the beginning today
It's a new day to start beginnings

How uncertain the days go by
The months pass and still we aim for the sky
How many years we are hoping for love
For more than decades we pray that there is an above
I am almost at the end of my uncertainty
A century hoped for and certain
There is a drug we take everyday
A vitamin of sorts for the affliction
Sick of love but wanting it
It's almost close to depression or elation
So I press my sweaty palms and grip
Each finger is enclosed and I am close
Until each morning is awaited
To more than just another man

The rain is suspended
The ease in my bones
Pleases my demon
I drink in his shadow
Warm feeling in my head
The heart doesn’t feel so alone
The light enters through
The time passes like mud
It’s cold and wet
In a bath of comfort and familiarity
A joint feels just right
Today fits into other days like a perfect puzzle piece
My life has an appetite for light moments and heavy sweetness
What happened last night?
I was alone and yet a phantom was watching
Lulling me to rest with his secret language
Caressing my face with certain eyes
So that when I woke all I knew was forgotten
And everything I remembered was eclipsed by newness

You woke me up
In the middle of a dream
Where there were only good things
You showed me a nightmare
I have always wanted to see
It's called the boundary
Now I walk the tightrope forever
As long as I get a word from you
It's the only thing I can remember

When the little that you know
Creeps into your head
You need the world to stop
Dead on it's tracks
In order for your kiss to reach him