If I let go of this fruitless hunt everytime it becomes difficult
Will I ever come home with game?
When I sought out the goal at hand I didn't expect that I would look the other way
It seems I haven't won any round from the last time
Only small victories is what they feel like
Like I'm taking more steps than I ought to
Like it is too much
But never enough
My heart hurts when you tell me I can't do it
But I know in my heart of hearts
Anything is possible
Even if I'm impossible to deal with
Anything is doable
Even if I say don't
The moments when I turn away from a challenge
Has cost me to lose sight of what is within reach
These moments perish
When I feel like I'm in peril
When you feel like the world is against your battle
Take it by the throat
And let it know
You're not one to mess with
Try on an armor and pick up a sword
Be the person in the arena
Pick a fight with the biggest dog
Break the vase in the antique shop
Make sure you don't turn around when you see the bully walking toward you
Help yourself to more pie
There is so much to fear
Take the name of the Lord in Vain
Then go to the confessional
And cry because of original sin
There is nothing that is not worth trying
Nothing that is hard to ask forgiveness for

Women want a man who takes his hat off in church
A man who is chivalrous but sensual
Someone who can quote Brene Brown and Shel Silverstein
A soft voice with a body made of hard edges
He's got the gentle flight of an eagle
The agility of a panther
Predator and prey, both
He slips into you like he has never been there before
A forest he hasn't explored
He's sure about you
He's wanting you to be sure
His days are steady
Like the oldest living tree
He sees you and doesn't cut you down
He makes sure you feel whole
He adds, doesn't take
He holds your hand
Like a little flower in the soil
Supported and nourished
Tender and Tended  to
Like a man of a dozen olden times
He knows the right books to read
Are books that make you love
Books that make you laugh
Books that make your heart wonder
He take your words
Gently unfolds them
Wears them well
Into poetry
Weaving his arm
Around your body
Until your waves
Become his undoing
Working man
Working you steadily
Until you desire that quiet life
You know is only possible for a man
With respect

You have to be a certain kind of love
I'm telling you, you are making me change
Even my words don't seem as careless
I am more careful around everyone
They are watching, measuring, and weighing
I know they would prefer that I was a certain kind of woman
People could be only about certain qualities
Only truth
Only stateliness
Only integrity
Beneath is what you seek
The little light that fuels my soul
The one that transcends perfection
You seek me to be more me
It's enough to know you own all of my incompleteness
If I outgrow this ***
I can only hope you are the gardener who uproots me

My Lola Pilar
Was a collector of precious things
Her most prized possesion is her memory
When that went away she fell away
Her heart filled with sorrow or joy only
I miss our breakfast mornings
Even when I was older
And sat in the table
In last night’s clothes
I hope I didn’t break your heart like your children
I’d like to believe I made you proud
By living the way you did
Making my own memories

I have been lost in a million stars
Stars that have been lost in your eyes
They told me when I was almost out of ideas
That I ought to make you my idea
They told me then, that when I have lost my voice
That I ought to speak your words
To steal your thoughts
To make them mine
To steal your heart
And steal your time
For when it's all over
You'd steal back mine
You'd make sure that every moment I called your name
I was calling Gods
To repeat myself
Over and over
Even though I'm almost over you
It seems I haven't gotten lost
But I find myself lost inside your memory
Always clinging unto you
May I rest eternally
May I hope for that dream, paradise
For when you are there
Then I will be happy

I'm so torn with being alone
I'm trying my best to be free
I'm so tired of being a deception
Is this the time to be me
Maybe it's time I shouldered the burden
Of hoping at last for your affection
Sorting the past is not easy to do
But even in this affliction
I am memorizing you
There is a place where mostly my heart says to become one
And even I praise the reason for the this heart's embrace
Over and over I am above the clouds
Wasting the seasons until you make it to the clouds
At last
I'm memorizing your face
I'm memorizing your language
I hope that there is something to the touch of your embrace

Did you know anything about love?
I took a pill and made it mine
It made sense in the beginning
Then less at the end
I made a big mistake
Took 3 and slept

Let me send to you my crooked-teeth kisses that go wherever it pleases
In any direction it seeses
Let me collapse my belly into your head to crush it of thoughts that require your sadness
Make me shell out with my darkened fingers
These balanced book-flippers
These dreaded art-lispers
Let me forgo every drink offered
Forgotten and tossed
Away from my guts
Present my freezing body---shivering and severed
From your toasty peaches---your delightful a-speeches
Wondering if his hands are made of the lashes
That cause me to spasm
In fits and in hashes
Living breathing
Teardrop from heaven
I have no more pennies
To give to my parents
So sober up, Claudine
Don't forget your bearings
You're bearing the sharing
The giving
The caring
You must be astute
Strong-willed
A beaut
Nothing can beat
The life out of youth

How uncertain the days go by
The months pass and still we aim for the sky
How many years we are hoping for love
For more than decades we pray that there is an above
I am almost at the end of my uncertainty
A century hoped for and certain
There is a drug we take everyday
A vitamin of sorts for the affliction
Sick of love but wanting it
It's almost close to depression or elation
So I press my sweaty palms and grip
Each finger is enclosed and I am close
Until each morning is awaited
To more than just another man

You woke me up
In the middle of a dream
Where there were only good things
You showed me a nightmare
I have always wanted to see
It's called the boundary
Now I walk the tightrope forever
As long as I get a word from you
It's the only thing I can remember

Hi, I'm sorry
That I can't be more
Hi, I'm pretty sure you're more
I'm not so simple
I'm not so grand
I'm never going to stand
I just feel like
I have been pushed around
On my wheelchair
Called medicine
I haven't had much to wear
But the same skirt
Since I had revisions
So take my little strappy dress
And sandals that go with it
And place it on your bed to rest
Towards where I feel
The betterness

I have found that when it comes to feeling romance
I am not very good at it at all
I haven't got the talent
I don't like reading what is in his mind
I don't like the strength of his stoicism

To take a moment to fantasize
To know that he would tell me how he felt
If it's nothing or if it's a momentary feeling that is actually nothing
I would tear down the walls and finally be free
To know the true bliss of unrequited love
To be free from knowing anything of me
To keep the sense in my mind
To create a world without him by my side
To hold steadfast to my own life
That is the meaning I am looking for.

See, the point is to share
Music
Looks
Beauty
Art
Even if everyone is doing it
The goal is not to be unique
The goal is to be free

Lemon water is good when you're bloated
Even if you don't feel like a glass of water
A sour mix can help you curb your appetite
It might seem stupid but I think lemon water
Is the bee's knees
Can't help myself enough to some lemon water

My family is peaceful
But we have bodies in our bags
They keep us intimidating
They keep us informed
The frayed edges of my denim jacket
Have been touching my hip
It keeps beckoning me to ignore it
I can't
So I look away
While it touches me
I pray for patience
One day this denim jacket
Will go to my daughter

The stairs were very difficult to climb
He had nowhere else to go
So he went of to the story
And there he found a series
It was a novela
One that couldn't be forgotten
He took it aside then
Ripped out the pages
He maid sure that it was legible
Because you can't read a book without
Words

I want the stars the moon and the sun
I want it all but I’m not the one who deserves it
Who deserves it but the small ones?
I want to capture the one who’s heart captured mine
Who am I? I do not know how to hold still and back
So I keep it unfiltered
I want the wandering path of the traveler
I so long for this unlived life I was dreaming of you until you wept and I stayed backwards
Who is this I became to even blame you?
For the wisdom I partake in is everything of insecurity rather than insight
When you lose your sleep
I lose my sights too
I figure out the shape of you
Then definitions can be defined
Always I find that when you steam my clothes
You steam every wrinkle away
Until nothing is left
But this poetic mess that seems to go into the woods of overthinking
Lost in the emotion of time
If time were to be heartbroken we would be stuck in this moment
So let’s hack time
And find her lover, death
Separate them forever and see nothingness
Until the end of this affair of souls selling each other everything they want for one another
I want time
So give me what time wants from me
To shun death and let death stay in the heart of time
Forbidden lovers for eternity
My arranged marriage with time
Bargained for with this borrowed life of viciousness
Wooed by a gold digging entity
i'm posing as an old rich woman
Indulgent and defiled
Time is fooled by my masquerade
I will not die and time is mine on paper

Sensitivity to the poison
Most are not so adept at hiding
Throw them into a pile of roses
Without which we could not become perfumed
How to beckon others to come in
When you haven't got a clue
Toward the light you seal the door
You haven't suffered much anymore
Waiting to sit on an old chair
It's your slow growing hair that makes the time

Easily cracks
Easily slips
Easily drops
Easy to wear
Easy to finish
Expensive
That's me

When everyone has said their fair share
We all stop to listen to her
She speaks of distant things
Without the world there would be no noise
Without her there would be no silence
These are moments
Feared and treasured
Totally obscured by the thought of loss
There are days that pass us by without notice
Then there are days that give us grief
Then there are days that surprise us
Then there are days that are expectantly forcasted
Then there are days you wish would never begin
Then there are days you wish would never become
Those are the days that happen because there is so much from today
So much so that, yesterday becomes that gift you wish were always

To take out the trash
Is a dance of habit
To the rhythm of life
Mundanity may seem like punishment
When it is in fact desire
To distract you from sadness
To exact your madness into disciplining
Unnoticeable and small
The moment you move to its small formations
Without rushing you will whistle
While hardships become oxygen
Gravity becomes your tool
Another rotation and you rise
Your life is all at once brighter

To be real seems like the simplest thing to do
But what if the worst things that you put upon yourself
Occur because of the worst that has already happened?
I'm ready to let bad things happen
I'm ready to stop doing bad things to myself
Isn't that the only way to be good?
I've been making you my god
When all this time you've been the good thing that never happened
I'm not done grieving
I'm ready to receive
The lessons come
Then all you will be is one of them to me
I'm sorry if I forget how good you are
If I forget how amazing we were
I'm sorry if I move on
If only you weren't a ghost to me
If only we were ready to be real
Men don't die of heartbreak
There are only those who give up
I'm one to believe that life is because of will
I will myself to be real
To be no longer lost in the figment of my imagination
To be grander than the scheme
To leave the dreaming behind and live the dream
To feel the wind
To be free
To be real
To be real

No
You don’t have to wonder who you are
Why wonder when youre already strong
Why wonder when youre already sure
Why look elsewhere to know who you are
Your reflection may inform others of how you look
A picture of you wearing something neat
Although your screams inside cant be heard
The strength in your voice is what shook the world
When you have a volume **** to turn up
Make sure you turn it up to loud
Because loud makes mistakes
And let’s everyone know
Who you are
Is who you show
Matter of fact
You don’t have a choice
Lesson is youre nobody’s voice
Let it be said when you was aborned
You’re lungs filled with air and you said
“Here I am”

Feeling alone just me and the house
With my couch and my sky
My mop and my floor
My hands and myself
The dog and the door
I haven't got much but I have all this
It's really small if I could close it
The book would end
To be read again

The next feature film is going to be starring Kim Kardashian
She has been studying law which has been building up  to this moment
Her role will be about a Lawyer
Who has 5 sisters and a dog which is the mom's baby
Since all her daughter's have gone off to find their own careers
Great work Kim
We're all so proud

I have this medal I won
It has all the qualities of a gold medal
But it's actually a small medallion
Given by my friend's mom
It reminds me about a good thing

Have win-lose-win-lose conversations
Not everything is a debate to find out who's right

This counts as ******
You grieve my changed heart
Even when you said it's over
I am dying to know my part

This wasn't one night only
This was a season
Even when you said I was the star
Further and further we get
The world and the expanding galaxy

When we were on that stage
We had it all
We saluted the lights
We couldn't see a face
They laughed at a line
We made them wait

Then now you and I stand
On the same silence before the song
It's becoming dead in the theatre
It's becoming empty again
It's not time to get better
It's time to call it a day

This counts as ******
You grieved my changed heart
If it could get better
I'd practice everyday
I'd start everyday (everyday)

We are born into love
Can you stay in love?
I can say I'm loved
If you could be my love

Everybody wants a chance
Everybody in the crowds
Endings only mean one thing
It's a comedy
Or pain

How to say sorry when there is no more words left?
It's been 11 years since our batchmate died
He was a good kid who didn't know any better about love
He took his life in an effort to make a point
But we know
Love is useful
So is rest.

The movie never let me go was about clones donating their organs
The movie Always let me go
Is about real people with souls donating their shoes to people without feet

I like to do things with care a precision
Like thinking about the last text I sent
While studying the back of my hand
Hold on, why did I say that
As I pensively look at the wrinkles on the hinge of my thumb
I slow my thinking down
Letting my mind stroll the garden of blooming plans
One by one they bloom
As though tended and watered to by the showers of my solitude

The king is standing while she is demanding
Every part of his manhood
And if he could escape
He would be the king waiting to be
If most of the time she has him in a vice grip
She's knows he's always hers to be flagshipped
He doesn't know he's worth a lot more than she claims

One of of the things we don't understand is that everyone
Is everyman and woman too
There's something about you
You've got to blame it on the patriarchy
They've got a lot of mess you got to clean
If I had something to say
Would they even listen?

'Cos this chess game is making me allowed
To kiss you on the mouth
I'll make you bow your head down
It's about worship

The gods are looking at us now
They've got to be pleased
The gods are looking at us now
They've got to be pleased

If anyone out there knows a thing or two about losing
I'm here to listen
Please listen

The moment I saw my father
He was momentarily stupified
He saw all the interruptions
And he realized that it just wasn't worth it
It was mostly a big wait for nothing
It went by so fast

The most difficult thing about going to school
Is finding out that the teachers don't teach
They just want to know if your listening

I want a house
Protected by the rain
Away in a forest
But easy to access
I want a house
With light and air
Leaves that are leaving
And ghosts that are going
I want a house filled with life
Things that are alive
Because they are touched
I want a house
Filled with precious things
Picked up and put down
With care and tenderness
I want this home
With cooking and praying
With animals and plants
With science and action
With books and writers
I want it all

Cory Aquino died on August 1, 2009
I wrote her an essay since she is a shining example of a female leader
St Francis died on October 3, 1226
His movie brother son and sister moon grossed $1,200,000
He could speak to animals which makes him the best Saint and my personal assistant
Zinadine Zidane is a footballer who last played his game of World Cup 2006 by head butting another player causing to be disqualified even if his mother was insulted
Everyone should get car insurance because when your car lacks car insurance you end up losing your car or maybe get an even better one
Altar Boys were invented by Altar Men who needed to alter the course of the mass and human history
Altar Boys are the heroes of the human race, really

How are you really?
Are you happy?
Are you sad?
Maybe you're actually fighting something

How do I count the ways?
You seem like you have another way of saying I love you
You don't say it but you mean it.
You have a way with words
I don't really know anything
You know me well
How do you break a frame
If you have a picture
You have an idea
Maybe let it grow
Get some woman who has a bit of sustenance
I'm thinking you can't feed a family

My eldest sister hit me with pillows to make me fall asleep
I took her book Anne of Green Gables (A super fast talking red head)
Striked her name from the dedication and replaced it with my own
Bye Big Sister
Thank you for the pillows

Spicy food hold my hand like a sweaty palm
It's so buttery and salty
It prepared my food especially since I've been hungry since 2007

The end of the road is filled with good intentions
Here is my poem
My father was an alcoholic
He drank isopropyl in order to stay clean
He made sure that even when he had bad days
He would make it even better
Then he forgot to wash his hands
So he drank a whole bottle instead
He makes sure that he does this in order to forget

The best part about the mask
Is that the make-up is permanent
You put it on in one go
You take it off in one go

The next time i see you
I'm taking your hand

I think that color made for frames

Mom said it was just a dream
There was a time I dreamt about where you are
I think it still was mine to give

The chair I'm seated on has a nice texture
It carries so many butts from the past
It also has many farts from the past

Yesterday my dad said I could stop taking the medication. He would conspire with me, not tell the doctor. I thought that that was really cool. He said he would just remember everything that is the reason I am taking the medication. The reason seems pretty vague though.

My brother has milk on his hands
He doesn't like seeing the milk
So he delivers them to the neighbors
Even when they are lactose intolerant

How do you know me so well
Without speaking in so many words
I haven't got a clue with what you tell
But if I could read your mind I would

I'm not sure what ghosts do
He visits me sometimes and I can't help but answer his questions