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MY HEAD IS A TWISTER IT
SWEEPS UP EVERYTHING
I CARE ABOUT AND DEST
      ROYS IT DISPLACING
        EVERYTHING AND
          MAKING A MESS
             WHY ARE MY
                THOUGHTS
                SO DESTRUC
                  TIVE WHY
                    MUST IT
                    ALWAYS
                    HURT TO
                     EXIST I
                      HATE
                       THE
                       TOR
                        NA
                        DO
                         TH
                          AT
                           IS
                           M
                            Y
                            M
                             I
   ­                         N
                            D
 Nov 2014 Cayla frazier
Sia Jane
Your love again,
                         caught me off guard
An invasion of,
                         the very same body
snatches,
that once again
emphatically dominated every
white cell.

Defences beaten,
                           down to
                                        the bare bones.

A hospital room
                          for broken hearts reserved.

Time stands still,
                           not even
the ticking of a clock
to count the days
til the grave I will fly.

A tombstone engraved -
She never would learn


© Sia Jane
Is it wrong to crave the hands
That no longer desire
The warmth of mine?

Despite the shame, guilt and tears
I can recall the texture of that skin;
Unkempt and rigid.

Street lights in the summer;
My favourite place in the city,
Strengthened by the grip between 10 fingers.

Turns out those hands had bigger plans;
A craving to explore and discover,
With new eyes and a deeper soul.

Left mine to wallow in self-pity,
Getting flustered upon failing
To pluck aged guitar strings adequately.

Sometimes I like to think
That the shakiness my hands feel
Is just my fingers shivering, naked and cold, without yours.
 Nov 2014 Cayla frazier
Jack
~

I prayed for light, He sent me sun
I prayed for moisture, He sent me dew
I prayed for beauty, He sent me flowers
I prayed for love, He sent me you
dad left
for his second tour of duty
on my third birthday

mom kept
a jar full of jelly beans
on the living room coffee table

every night
she gave me one to eat, saying
"when these jelly beans
are all eaten up,
dad will come back home"

sometimes
i would sneak another,
to help dad come home sooner

one night
the phone rang
and i watched mom
wipe away a tear
as she filled
the jar
back
up
On this Remembrance Day, I think of all those who have served, with a special thought for Dad.  And though she has no medals, I also think of Mom; every tour of duty Dad went through, she went through too, taking care of us on her own.

*** Edit: Thank you for all your kind words!  Due to a recent outpouring of sympathy, I feel it necessary to clear up the fact that my dad did in fact make it home from this mission; his tour had simply been extended for an additional 3 months.  Still, it isn't easy being part of a military family - and that's what I meant to show. ***
 Nov 2014 Cayla frazier
Emmy
i want
 Nov 2014 Cayla frazier
Emmy
I want to softly whisper
incomplete poems
on your collar bones
that don't rhyme with anything
but your heavy breathing.

I want to bury my face
in the curves of your neck
because you smell like the winter clouds
and I've been gazing at the sky
since you left.
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