Cassie Stoddard: Favorites

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Life

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Emily Nemec

Life

You’re going to be sad. You’re going to want to scream and punch things. Do it. Let out every ounce of anger you have. Sit on the floor and cry until you feel numb. Listen to songs that make your heart sink to your feet. Write angry letters to all the people who have broken you, left you, ignored you or hurt you. Throw your hairbrush at the wall. Do it twelve times. Do it until you feel like you can breathe again. You’re going to be sad. You’re going to want to hurt yourself. Don’t you dare do it. Sit on the floor and watch cartoons like you did when you were little. Listen to songs that make you want to dance around your bedroom in your underwear at 3 A.M. Make paper airplanes out of those angry letters and watch them soar into the fireplace. Brush all the knots out of your hair and say “I am worth it” into the mirror. Say it twelve times. Say it until you feel like you can breathe again. You’re going to be sad. You’re going to get through it.

#sad #help #it #worth

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

That day in your lives

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Emily Nemec

That day in your lives

We all get to that point in our lives. Our darkest hour. Wether it's crying on the floor, broken, deserted, or wether we feel like a pointless spec, bouncing through an empty universe, we've all been there. There's a difference between being a good person, and having people think you're a good person. Being a good person doesn't mean being thanked by other people for an act of kindness. Being a good person can be helping someone and not taking a reward. It can be a random act of kindness without a prize. But being a good person is always about being happy with what you did for someone regardless of how they take it. And it's ok to be looking to for thanks because sometimes we just need to be noticed. Some times we just want some one to say "hey i see what you do for people." We want to be cared for. We want to be loved. We all just need someone. Someone for the nights when every chug is for someone we weren't good enough to keep. For the days we wander aimlessly hoping they this think about us. For the nights when each cut is deeper than the last one, and every breath slips from our lungs. For the nights we can't sleep and stay up writing the same words "I'm sorry." We want someone there for us on those nights when nobody else was. We want someone to care for us even when no one else would. We want someone to loves us even though we can't love ourselves. And before they know it were gone. The boy who never spoke. The girl who always wore a jacket, even when it was 100 degrees out. All gone. And then people decide to care. We all need someone to care for us,** so why don't we care for those who are in need?

#self #harm #sad #help

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Lungs

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

L

Lungs

I'm tempted to light the cigarette that's hidden away on my bookshelf -- Maybe then I'll be able to breathe.

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Untitled

Apr 2015 Cassie Stoddard

L

Untitled

It'll do more harm than good,
but you're willing to take the chance,
aren't you?

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Tea, Incense, and Other Things That Smell Nice

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Cassandra Jarvie

Tea, Incense, and Other Things That Smell Nice

I want to chop off
chunks of my
hair with a blunt
steak knife bit by
bit until my scalp
is pink and my knuckles glow
pale and distinct like planks
of bleached driftwood.

I want to spread paint
across my back into a
picture of the beach
and lay on it so that
maybe the scratch of the
sand will itch through my t-shirt
and then I can charge
horseshoe ***** to
build townhouses on my
empty lots.

I want to eat at a
table weighed down
with plates bursting with
steaming pasta and
bowls of stark
white rice stuff
that will make me
sick with happiness and
shining like Buddha,
because food is nothing
more than
refined sunlight.

Hippie dippie

#happiness #choice #sunlight #selfesteem #rice #iwant #buddah #horseshoe

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

feelings I associate with myself

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

M

feelings I associate with myself

I am Taco Bell, the morning after a long night of sleepless driving through the country and you feel cold and warm and full and gross and fresh and your hair is falling around your face and your sight is blurred and you're hugging your pillow and you're there with the best people in the world
I am the moment after the moment before they hold you suspended on the rollercoaster, but more than that, I am the feeling of safety when you finish the loop and you're on a straight track for a while but you're still rocketing through the sky
I am the feeling of hopelessness when you want to shout into the open air but you realize there are other people there so you just whisper to youself
I am waking up in a grassy field and putting on your shoes that are wet with dew and wondering how your sleeping bag got over here
I am standing under a waterfall and getting up the courage to dunk your head under it and I am the sudden and unstoppable ice cold but it is not ice, it is breathless and there is no one else there, this moment is just for you
I am when you tell a joke and no one laughs, but I am when you do something worthwhile and you know they are proud of you because they cried before you did
I am getting in the car at carline at the start of a long break and shouting back at the school as if it could hear you
I am the moment when you hear words that break your heart just after you feel them and just before you know what to think about them.

inspired by the zodiac posts. I am a Sagittarius.

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

?

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

grace

?

my question is, how can someone say “i love you” without having the promise of the universe backing them up? how can those words slip through the gaps in your teeth if not every single bone in your body agrees? can’t your lips tell the difference by now? can’t they close their gates prior to the escape so no one else has to look up the definition of an empty promise? imagine if your body wouldn't let you say “i love you” unless you really meant it..

how can one person make you feel trapped & safe at the same time? how can one person make you feel so alone & so complete all at once? quite frankly i’m tired of being only half of a whole. can’t i be whole on my own? can you see the light in the word “us”? it’s as bright as a wildfire to me & only a flame to you but that’s alright. don’t you know by now that there’s a silent “don’t leave me” in the word trust? all i’ve ever done is give you all i had, & maybe that’s why i’m always left feeling incomplete. can’t you see the blood pouring from my pen right now? i’m bleeding out every word for you.

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

Untitled

Mar 2015 Cassie Stoddard

grace

Untitled

do you still cringe when you step on leaves in the fall? is it because the sound reminds you of the way your dad broke your heart before any boy had the chance to?