I promise to stay alive
If you promise not to forget me when I die.
And I'll be sure to follow my heart
If you keep these memories from falling apart
I know I'll turn to dust
It'll be my time soon enough
I know I don't deserve smooth sailing
But does it have to be so rough?
I don't want to be just a number
I want my face to be remembered
I want my name in the history books
I want people to know how my handwriting looks
I want a feast day
A parade
Something to celebrate
I want my name in lights
Banners hung high
Images preserving my life

You know?
All that would be nice
But something smaller will suffice.
If I could just get a promise from you
To never forget me, that'll do.

a city made of plastic
******* with elastic
torn between a tourist trap
and locals who just want it back

i thought you cared the most
guess i held too close
you fell like sand through my fingers
i couldn't see you any clearer
loved you with all my might
guess i held too tight
i knew you'd crumble from the start
like a blade straight through my heart

when sorrow is safety and joy is fear
everything is wrong here
one fleeting moment is wrecked
just because i realized what i felt
i'm so tired of being lonely
and so scared of intimacy
i'm an open book that's terrified
scared of what you'll see inside

want to have a whole committee
but i'm not that kind of city
i'll welcome you with open arms
and then i'll sound the alarms

When life throws you too much to handle
Give it to me and we'll share the mantle
Listen to the world around you
and know that I will not drop you
I love the smell of your hair and the light in your eyes
Together, maybe we can rise
Out of the lot we were given
Make the most of our situation
Give me half of your smile and I could turn the night to day
If I had an ounce of your strength, I could relieve Atlas.
And if you read my head for one second,
You'd hear your name a thousand times
You'd see your face from my eyes, and know that I see past your facade
You'd hear every word you ever said to me and know just how loud you are
You feel the safety of your arms
and you would never let me go.

How is it that in the midst of so much light
I can feel engulfed in dark and shadow?
It's almost like things are lightest
Just before the dark
This isn't how the world is supposed to work.
Am I just destined to live backwards?
When my world crumbles,
Am I supposed to crack with it?
It seems as though my only choice
Is to hang amidst the burning house.
I'm not supposed to get out.
And I'm supposed to be unafraid.
There won't be an exit.
There won't be a man in a cape.
No clean air to breath.
No relief.
Only the tightening of my lungs
And the disintegration of my heart
Left to rot
And to be forgot
I'm nothing to this world.
My existence is simply to take up space
And make everyone's day.
I smile
No one smiles back.
Am I already dead?
A ghost among you?
No one listens when I speak.
No one seems to see what I can see.
I hate this cycle I've been thrown into.
I don't know if this is a dream or real.
I just know that I don't want to feel.

I know you're gone
And I know you'll try
But I'm not the type
People wait on

You believe in me
You know the secrets I keep
The faith I have in you
I wish I could see it in me

I can't blame it on missing you
Although I want to
But I'm still sad
How am I still sad?

I try to blame it on missing you
But then I have you for a day or two
And I'm still sad
Maybe I'm just sad

I drank a glass of Texas tea
And turned into the ghost of a memory
I learned to be so quiet
I watched all my friends forget
I learned how to walk with the silence of the dead
I learned how to keep my thoughts inside my head
I learned to keep my mind open and my mouth shut
But I had no one there to open me back up
I never brush my hair
I forget to fall asleep
Is this what is meands to be me?

Had my first taste of Texas tea
And then their eyes went straight through me
Fill my cup all the way up
And watch my teeth rot

When will this end?
I don't want a friend.
I just want to send
This all over the edge.

I don't want you
But I need to.
I think I hate you
But I'd love to.

I'm wrapped around you
Felt like I flew.
Now you're gone
And I'm gone, too.

But you've been replaced.
They have a new grace;
But I'm scared to see
What's in store for me.

I'm terrified of you
Though you're all I knew.
Now I've got to do
Completely without you.

Poor and worse, the widow's daughter
Hold your tongue so it won't be harder
Work for your pay every ******* day
One day you'll move so far

Break the rules, all the things they have done
Don't tell her know she exceeds all expectations
Pots and pans, blankets, shirts, the whole house
Paint it all red to match her hard head

If you were from a different place
Maybe you could occupy a space
only big enough for you
If you were from a different time
Would you take the chance to rewind
Just to take in the view

It doesn't feel right to say that you're gone
It doesn't feel like the end of the song
I keep on waiting for you to prove us all wrong
I'll never hold a grudge again

Words don't look how they sound
If I write your name 10 times over
It doesn't even feel like a real word anymore
Just markings on a page

Yet if I say it aloud
The shape of you emerges from my mouth
The feeling of holding you to my chest
The sound of your voice outside the door
The comfort of knowing I could reach out at 4
   in the dark and collide with your warmth

But it all hits me at once like an 18-wheeler
Because I know it's no longer real
But I'll say your name one more time
To remind myself that for a moment you were mine

Golden eyes stare through the trees
Blinding lights reflecting into the leaves
Something I've only seen in movies

They have hoods to hide their face
They attack what they can't trace
They love who they trust, he starts on the cusp
Now they want to make him their queen

Oh, keep him on a pedestal
Oh, deep within his castle
Oh, never look down again
From now on, someone's holding his hand

He approaches the throne
With stilted nerves
It's him
Forever in this universe

It's not me, it's you
I know that excuse
When you're the one before the one
You're the coach, not the prize
You teach a man to fish and you've fed him for his life
You teach a man to love, you've prepared him for his wife

And that's great
And that's fine
They deserve a happy life
But why wasn't I
Good enough for you to try?

I miss the way you touch your hair.
I miss the way you held my stare.
I miss the way you speak to me,
Like there's nowhere in the world you'd rather be.
I miss the way you look at me,
Like I'm giving you something no one else can see.
I miss the way you made me feel,
Like your arms were made of silk and steel.
You're the boy who made my heart skip a beat.
You're the man who got me back on my feet.
But now I've got nowhere to go.
No one to tell me all the things you know.
I want you back because you are everything I lack.

Here's to a couple of beautiful lives.
You look at me and don't avoid my eyes
I look at you and all I see is smiles
and although I live to hear your praise
I just want you to feel happy days
Listen to me like you do
hear my words I say to you
What you say to me is what you need to believe
and I won't rest until you see
Listen to you like I say
hear your words and find your happy day.

I'm not sure I want to see inside your head
But how else will I understand?
Was it something I said
Or did you just change your mind again?
Somehow our lives disaligned
After all the times I kept you alive
Somehow I was left behind
But then here you are in front of me
And you have ruined my day
I doodle your name all over the sky
And hope to god, away you'll fly

I've given up on wishing
because that's all it ever was
And my dreams are only dreams
Since I'm never good enough

Once she tried to teach me to Charleston
It was the closest I came to seeing her dance
But I gave up because it was too hard

Once she had an extra bourbon
And slapped my cousin's husband in the face for dropping one too many four letter words

Once she told me she liked country-western music
and roses and hummingbirds
But she hated my tattoos

Once she cried to me because she was tired of getting older
And it was the first time
I realized she was afraid to die

She used to tell me every day
between work and school
"Don't work too hard, darlin'"

I know you hates these kinds of songs
The ones with sentiment that make you cringe
But how else can I say what you mean?

You deserved the freedom you always craved
Driving all alone down an open highway

Independence

You never wanted anyone's help
And you never asked
But sometimes we have to depend on people we don't want to need
Sometimes you even have to say please