As the sun warms my body,
Your heart warms my soul.
To know a love like this,
Is to know true bliss.
And to think it all started
With just a simple kiss.

The manifestation of my heart sits across the table.

I steal occasional glances her way. Rather, she steals my attention. With her big lashes batting away, eyes crinkling and twinkling and the corners of her mouth lifting in amusement at the pages held between her tiny hands.

There’s a rhythmic tapping against my shins as she swings her legs–which are far from reaching the floor–underneath our table. I like to think that the action isn’t completely subconscious–that some part of her is reaching out to make sure I’m still near.

I am. I always will be.

I don’t think she’ll ever know how much I love her, how much I’ve loved her and longed for her even before she was born…how impatiently I’ve waited for her and how she was the inspiration of my writings…and dreams.

Now here she is, barely two feet from me. My life with her so far has been a paradox of my stone heart shattering and being blissfully renewed in the exact same moment whenever I look at her. Or hear her giggle, or feel her hand in mine. Or see her eyes widen at the magic she sees in everything I've grown to take for granted.

Has a man ever known adoration stronger than this?

I don't know.

But what I do know is this: the manifestation of my heart and all the love it can ever possess sits here in this bundle of beauty and boundless hope.

And she just turned 4 today.

the ink may pulse
from your fingernails
be seeping out your toes

cold and thick
azure puddles

chalk skies
banana lines

leaves outside
flutter in conversation
hush-hush

interior (red) / exterior (grey)

a thin transparency
between you and them
like squares of clotting water

what do you see
see what can be made

slosh of vehicles
in some sickly vernacular

muffled thrum
of the city
millions of windows

one of you

I will hold onto you
because you bring a certain light
to the world
that I don't think
can be found anywhere else.
And with a light
that makes even the brightest
of suns envious,
it'd be a shame to do anything
but hold on.

-k.w//Hold On

This is not goodbye - but ‘see you soon’
You left us one dark afternoon
Our time’s run out but then again
I wouldn’t change a single thing.

The laughs we had, the happy times
The years of banter, jokes and rhymes.
Those special moments when we knew
We were meant to be, our love was true.

A man of few words but a massive heart
Dignified, loyal and fun from the start
With your ‘Sid James’ laugh and mother-in-law jokes
(Luckily these were saved for the blokes).

Husband, brother, father, grandad and son
You were loved so much by everyone
I’m so grateful for the years that we had together
The memories, laughter. I will love you forever

There’s a hole left behind in my life but I know
You’re no longer in pain and I must let you go
Just remember that I love you to the moon
This is not goodbye - but just ‘see you soon’

Is it too late to say sorry?
Well, ask yourself that, not me.
Do you think you're worth forgiving?

They say
'Fool me once
Shame on you.
'Fool me twice
Shame on me'

But what about more than that?
Ten
Twenty
Fifty
One hundred times?

And with every time came a "sorry"
"I promise not to do that again".

So before you ask me
And tell me yet another apology

Apologize to yourself first.
For putting yourself into this predicament.