Do we ever really mean it
with temper stripping us down to our most
animalist
sadistic
I did not mean that, poem of mine I showed you last night
what read simply bled
Last night, contemplating accidental mescaline trips
loves
loss
life death
becoming master of this illusion
We are the generation which creates itself
I am my years in Chongqing
Where my heart heeded me not court the innocent
Chinese
beautiful
flower of a ******
My heart could not resist the fling
Monster
Foreigner
Devil
Oh! How my tormented conscious screams!

I am
my months
In Greifswald
Moin
Moin Moin
out back of Mensa Club
my head met an angry boot
thud
I let out my cruddy caterwall
*****
*******
****
******
Come here I will ******* **** you!
I am held back from further humiliation by the furer followers taken for my stitches.
made a scene at the police station.
I get what I deserve in my American varsity jacket I stole from my father, vintage. I was an easy target it is not far fetched I get a blitzkrieg on my head.

I am my posh time in London
In Hampstead I swirl sangria
discussion David Downs and
which works are his strongest
In Chelsea I walk around
boxer shorts and pajama bottoms
getting k-holed with the
bottom feeders all ****** on
frosty jacks

7 a.m.

I am ready for heaven
my world swings before me,
swaying... silently.
A dead man hangs
swoosh swoosh
falling
from the gallows

I
I am him, the man seeking solitude
I am him, the boy annoyed afraid and hates being
Alone
A flea, fleeing man traversing
fleeting moments.
Burning away oil, soaked fleece.
North Face coming home feels more and more of a disgrace
North Star
I want to follow that sweet shoulder with that
brainwashing
LOGO
LOGOS save me logo log logarithm love

My jacket pulled over her legs
freezing she says
shivering chills
Withdrawal, hence we are en route to the corner to get well.
sitting silent and innocent (comparatively with the deranged driver).
in the backseat as this driver drives lives nowhere and the only place we all want to go
everywhere
all at once
into oblivion we go sullen eyes and veins soaked with ****** and *******.
I am him  
the man looking in the mirror with disdain
I am him
The man afraid of what he sees.
Maybe dolorful colorful Colorado can save
Him.
This is my Howl
This is my Purge
save me save me
save
me
me
I fear of Art becoming dead to me
If fear of God dying to me
Dan is dead
II
The neighborhood is dim
snow falls
I smoke on the porch
5 years before
what you just read
Dan is still alive
and as I smoke on the porch
snow falls
I watch the people
commuters
college
professors
middle class
lower class
intelligent
stupid
rich
poor
white
black
doctors
trash man
*** heads
junkies
young girls
grandparents
my community
America
These people enclosed in there cars on their faces just
regret
anger
disappointment
I start to wish there was something I could offer them
but I have nothing myself
only
fog of dreams in my head