i walk into a room
where you wait
and turn my gaze to you
your gentle heart shudders loudly enough for me to feel it in my own chest
then falls to your knees before my mouth even opens

i look into you
unwavering
unrepentant
a tigress locked onto her prey

your eyes drop to my lips as i smile
and you mimic the movement
you show me your teeth
you open to me

i pick up your pulse
racing in your tilted neck
i'm doing this to you, my mind reminds me coolly, and my grin widens cruelly

my hand hovers above you
your body blushes where i pass
words wander from your throat to your mouth
dripping
dammed

when i touch you the barrier breaks and rivers rush forth from your lips
and the sound is my music
i dance to its frantic rhythm

only when words lose their meaning
and your eyes turn toward the heaven from which they were created
and blasphemous prayers pour from your tongue
will i let you be still

come dawn
i am still awake
the fan and open windows
do nothing to cool my burning body

the summer sun set many hours ago
but the heat remains
sweat pools in my hands
and falls from my face
onto my sheets, leaving ghosts of stains

last night
we sat on the steps by the dumpsters and talked about how we couldn't remember what it was like to feel safe in our own homes

last week
we drank hot coffee on a 97 degree day and talked about how hard it was to talk to others and how easy it was to talk to each other

last month
i wasn't thinking about you like this

come sunrise
i am still awake

i wish for--
i want--
wisdom
it's a curiosity i can't crush
it's a ******* tongue has never met
yet it lingers on my mouth like a memory
my mind melts on the thought
sizzling, singed, scorched
the words i want washed out
bubble to the surface of my throat
but i am gagged
and you are blind
bound
beautiful

B R E A T H E

sounds settle
the moment passes
i am certain sleep will solve this
as i lie awake until sunrise
the thought taunts
your voice summons words i have never heard you speak
i am haunted

thinner than air
thicker than the tide of sleep

wonder and want

it lines your silhouette
moonlight makes your skin glow
dawn hurries to meet us
and your eyes are sunrise

i hear it pass from your lips
and slip through my fingers
your murmured assent
humming to the rhythm of the fan's rotation
clockwise
and your heartbeat, your breath
faster

it coats my tongue
your teeth
our throats
i can't get enough of the taste

our noses meet
our breaths mingle

your hands
in my hair,
your mouth
on my neck

a feeling floods me and as i drown all i can do is reach for you

when she lays claim to you
(as only she can-
quickly, quietly, and through you)
she approaches me as an afterthought,
as if the damage done can be repaired
by this self satisfactory spewage,

as if the rising rage can be appeased
by convenient confession,

as if that would make me not want to knock the simpering smile from her ******* face,

as if.

looking at you is my least favorite game.
you smile and nod in my direction and i wonder if you can hear my chest cave in like a condemned house every time i hear you laugh.

was this expected? yes.
but it still aches nonetheless.