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 Apr 2018 Cadence
Zach Hanlon
Being transgender is like this:
Everyday of your life, you have always wanted a dog.
For as long as you can remember--
even if you don't know to what extent--
you have wanted one.

You asked your parents, Santa, the easter bunny,
even the tooth fairy.
Then one day you get a dead cat for your birthday.
You say "This isn't a dog,"
But "You get what you get and don't get upset"
So you carry around and care for the dead carcass.

All sorts of people look at you,
unable to understand what you are doing.
So then one day you decide to try to make it look a bit nicer.
You wash it a bit, comb what little fur it has left,
cover the decrepit limbs.

But then you realize the futility in doing this all the time,
because you are still carrying around a dead animal.
So you continue to carry it around because you have to,
no matter how horrible it may be.

Although you are carrying around a dead and rotting cat,
you aren't a ******* cat owner;

You still want a ******* dog.
 Feb 2018 Cadence
Storm Raven
We were on the train,
Traveling from Amsterdam back home.
There was this adorable little kid,
He asked me to play with his toy car.
We played for about fifteen minutes,
Before his mom said he had to go,
The little kid was so upset and yelled:
But I want to keep playing with that boy.
He made my day.
He was closer to the true than everyone else,
Correcting his so called mistake.
That adorable little kid made my day by calling me a boy,
And for now one person is enough.
I was so happy. I was wearing my hair more masculine or boyish and wore my dad's sweater because my little sister had already claimed mine.
 May 2015 Cadence
Kali
From my soulmate
Who I'm most vulnerable around
The one I open up to most
Let it all out
Me
My
Hopes and
Dreams
Fears
Thoughts
Everything inside feels free to come out
From my love
My heart my life my soulmate
You are not a boy.
Words uttered before
Coming out more and more over time
And I catch
Like my breath
Laying my head on his chest
And I catch
My tongue
And stop
Those thoughts I've always
Thoughts I've always thought
Feelings
Thoughts
That took so ******* long to realize
That I wasn't ****** up
That I wasn't weird
That it's great to be me and
Great to be he or she
Great to be
Anything
I feel
Is me.
And I stop
From my soulmate
It is weird
It is wrong
It is not
Me
So I stop
I stop dressing as him
I stop remarks on myself
I stop
But sometimes
It slips
I can't catch
Myself
I can't catch my breath
I can't catch my thoughts
Because
I want to be everything
Everything he wants me to be
Everything and his soulmate
Because
My soulmate
Says I am not a boy
So I try to believe
And suppress
And
Be
Because I
Am not
A boy.
I've struggled with my gender identity for as long as I can remember. I've come to terms with being gender fluid over the past two years, which is the same as being a dynamic mix of both genders. My boyfriend used to portray an 'okay-ness' with it. But lately makes a point to stop me to make sure I know, I am not a boy.

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