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briannah rae Sep 2017
The girl steps onstage.
She picks up the microphone,
looking at the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.


The music plays
softly in the background.
The young girl opens her mouth,
her heart.


She sends a message,
her words drifting sweetly through the auditorium,
to the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.


The girl steps into school.
She looks around at the hundreds of people walking
in front of her.

She runs a hand
through her
dark, inky hair,
smoothing it out.


She remembers
checking her outfit,
her hair,
her smile.


Scared,
that she wasn’t good
enough,
pretty
enough
for the hundreds of people walking in front of her.


The girls steps into her room.
She is alone.
She doesn’t have to pretend
for the hundreds of people who were
in front of her.


The girl steps into her kitchen.
Her mother looks at her disapprovingly.
The young girl sighs,
aware of her mistakes.
The hundreds of expectations her mother has for her
are too much.
Is she a disappointment?


The girls stands in
the shadows of
her older sister.


Her beautiful,
talented,
older sister.


The girl tries
to step out of
the shadows,
but everytime,
she gets
engulfed again.


The girl steps outside,
gazing at the hundreds of stars spread
out in front of her.


She closes her eyes,
wishing for the hundredth time,
hoping
that this time,
her wish will come true.


The girl steps into school again.
She looks around at the hundreds of people walking
in front of her.


She stands with her hundreds of friends,
holding on tightly.
She is not ready to let go.
She will never be ready to let go.


The girl walks with her crush.
She gazes up at him
the way she gazes up at
the hundreds of stars.


She opens her journal
and flips to an empty page.
Her pencil bursts on the paper,
as she writes about
the hundreds of people,
hundreds of stars,
hundreds of friends,
one love.


The girls smiles for the hundredth time.
She knows the smile is fake,
but nobody else does.
She tries to stay happy,
because her friends happiness
is more important
than hers.


The girl is like a
balloon.
Once somebody lets go
of the string,
she drifts
farther and farther
until she is
gone.


She needs her hundreds of friends
to hold tightly to
her string,
so she doesn’t
float away.


The girls steps outside of the schools.
She waits
for her mother to come,
gripping a test
with 90% written
in red ink.


She smiles excitedly,
hoping her mother will be proud.
One of her hundreds of expectation.


The girl reaches home
and sits in her room,
alone again.
She wishes for her hundreds of friends
that she isn’t ready to let go of.


The girl decides to do what she does best.
She pulls out a pencil
and opens her journal to a fresh page,
and begins to write:


“The girl steps onstage.
She picks up the microphone,
looking at the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.”
this is one of my first ever pieces of poetry...
briannah rae Sep 2017
she

is a beautiful girl

with a big,

bright,

beautiful personality,

and a heart

so full

of love for

others

that there

is no room

left for

herself.

at all

of the

football games,

she cheers

on the team,

but can't

cheer on

herself.

she keeps

a blade

hidden in

her

poetry notebook,

and tries to

bleed out

all of

her problems.

it breaks my

heart

knowing all this,

and yet

i do

nothing.

whenever she

is absent from

school.

i

can't help

but think of

terrible, sad

thoughts,

because maybe

her depression

has pushed her

over

the

edge.

this beautiful girl

thinks so

poorly of

herself,

and it honestly

breaks

my heart,

because she

doesn't know just

how amazing she

is.

she has a

beautiful voice,

and writes

beautiful

(but sad)

poetry.

i

just feel so

useless

because there's

nothing

i

can do

to help

her.

but i

would

take away

her

rain clouds

so that she

may

experience

endless

blue

skies.
briannah rae Sep 2017
god i'm such
a ***** up
i can't do
anything right
everything i touch
turns to ****
and i can't
do this anymore
i can't keep
ruining everything
for everyone
just leave me alone
forget about me
i'll only hurt you
i'll only disappoint you
i'll only make things worse
and i can't keep doing that
not to you
and not to myself
i can't live with myself
it's too much to handle
you can easily
rid yourself of me
but how can i rid
myself of me
briannah rae Sep 2017
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know where this is headed.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know if you love me as a friend.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know if you love me as more.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know anymore.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
are you leading me on only to drop me off the cliff?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
so that i hit rock bottom and shatter my heart?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
or do you love me?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
do you feel anything for me?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
even a little?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i love you so much it hurts.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
when i'm not with you my heart is hollow.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
empty.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
broken.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
but then i see your smiling handsome face.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
and my heart is literally filled.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i feel so much so much so much
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
joy
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
peace
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
love
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
so please love me
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i think maybe you do
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
and i think maybe if you don't
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i'll cry myself to sleep
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
31 Day Writing Challenge
Love
briannah rae Sep 2017
i love you
so much
i am holding
back tears.
i don't know why
it hurts to love you.
loving you should
be amazing
and beautiful
and so serene.
but instead
it knocks the breath
out of me
and sends me
to my knees,
gasping for breath,
heart wrenching sobs
escaping my mouth,
and you pull me
to your chest,
asking why i cry.
but how can i tell you
it's because i love you?
  Sep 2017 briannah rae
celestial
you were the de(f)inition of
toxic.

yo(u) took control
and never let go,
with a (c)onstant
deathly grip on my soul.

could you have been
any more aggressive?
only god (k)nows.

but i know one thing.
i left (y)ou,
as soon as i c(o)uld,
and
i'm
f(u)cking glad i did.
(read the italicized / brackets)
  Sep 2017 briannah rae
helena alexis
feeling your lips against mine
so soft and angelic
moving in sync
with each other

you taste like fireworks
exploding in my mouth
each kiss feels different

rougher and rougher
our lips attacking
like they are at war

- kissing you
made out w a girl in Mexico over the summer this is ab her
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