Brenna Martin

Brenna Martin Oct 2014

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from the minute I met you, you seeped into my skin and dispersed through my veins. I couldn't resist your hands around my waist, breathing sweet nothings in my ear between slow kisses breaking the thin blood vessels of my neck, etching yourself beneath my skin. now your name is tattooed on my heart and you'd have to crack open each of my ribs to remove it but even that would hurt less than thoughts of you flooding my mind every ******* minute.

Brenna Martin Oct 2014

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the ***** I drink much too often burns, yes, but not as much as your name does when I'm spitting it out like venom, blaming you for my own inconsistency.

the smoke that briefly fills my lungs leaves my head spinning and my heart beating a thousand miles an hour, but nothing can make me shake the way you did with your lips pressed to my neck.

the cuts left by rusted razor blades inevitably burn no matter where they're made, but nothing stings more than the tone in your voice when you say you wish you didn't love me.

the tears that stain my t-shirt have turned into tidal waves but instead I'm drowning in thoughts of you and I don't know how to tell you how I feel without telling you that I love you but I don't feel anything at all anymore.

I wrote this a while ago, sorry all my **** is so similar.

Oct 2014

Sia Jane

Chapters of Self

I'm made of all;
The books I've ever read
Poems I've ever written
Faces who have smiled at me
Hugs that have wrapped around me
Caresses that have graced my inner thigh
Countries & continents my feet have touched
The lovers as we simultaneously reach ecstasy within
Lonely nights shedding tear drops
Nights gazing black skies moon & stars
Children falling asleep to my heartbeat
Animals whose soul was found through reflective eye stares
Conversations spoken in French, Spanish, Italian, Xhosa, Afrikaans, Norwegian, German
Years of ******-, cognitive-, dialectical-, art-, drama-, music-, mindfulness-, trauma-, psychiatry-; therapies
The drinks & drugs & mind altering substances dispersing my mind
In all I'm made of;
Love
Lust
Greed
Fear
Joy
Freedom
Longing
Dreams
Despair
Sadness
Anger
Frustrations
Happiness
Anxieties
Insecurities....

In all I'm made of;

A soul; securely contained within a body of battled scars;
over;
pain & triumphs, losses & gains, rejections & acceptances, dishonours & accolades...

With the hope; she too, can live life through.

© Sia Jane

Written at 1.53am

Brenna Martin Oct 2014

I'm not okay but it's okay

you planted flowers in my rib cage but they died when you left,
now my lungs are filled with dust and smoke and I can't ******* breathe.
you made butterflies grow in my stomach but they flew out of my mouth as sweet nothings and now I have nothing else to say.
sometimes you leave drunk voice mails saying you miss me and your words burn the back of my throat but ***** still burns worse.
you said I had the prettiest blue eyes you had ever seen, I guess you met someone prettier because my eyes are sunken and grey now.
you poisoned my blood with your *******, I guess warning labels weren't made for this kind of drug (not that I would have stayed away anyway).
I've replaced the dark purple love bites you left on my neck with razor sharp kisses across my wrist,
I'm doing okay now.

#depression #you

Oct 2014

Daniel Wilson

Floored

I am floored.

She teaches me with brown eyes the youth I've forgotten.
Every breath I take in thought of her pulls heavy on my lungs.
I can't stop.
The blankets I lay on turn to flesh and I firmly grasp what I'm able.
Her scent still lingers from our last lay.
Inhaling these moments only intensifies our time spent together.
****** ******* frenzy.
This woman rewrites what I claim of passion.
I know nothing now - she must lead me and I follow.
Her lips secrete the sweetest wine, her tongue uncorks me.
She wants me on cold kitchen counters and wooden floors.
I can't keep count.
We are sinning for the worse, the relationship founded on ***.
Reckless turns us on,
we push and pull and pinch and grab and bite and nibble and lick our way to the next line.
Whatever it takes to get off - she & I must have it all.

These storms of passion return a calm to my chest.
I'm reassured of who I am - why I am.
She has floored me, and I ******* love it.

#passion #lust #***

Brenna Martin Oct 2014

how do we get out of this?

I remember the taste of every beer,
until maybe number ten.
I remember the sweet, minty taste of your lips,
until you moved across the Atlantic.
I remember the way I shook when I was with you,
but thank God I don't remember the night I said I loved you.

you'd think after two and a half years of
3 am conversations about how we both wanted to **** ourselves and
sweet kisses where my dad said to keep hidden and
random, drunk you mean everything to me's that
your name wouldn't taste so bitter when
my mom asks how you're doing and
I tell her that you're fine and that
I don't miss you but
sometimes I still like to text you when I get high even though
you're always drunk.

#love #suicide #drunk #depression #you #high

Brenna Martin Oct 2014

secrets

adrenaline and alcohol coursing through my veins,
eyes lowered, breathing slowed,
staring at the stage.
fueled by self confidence, or lack thereof,
hands shaking, knees are weak,
tonight I'm in love.
you're here with her but I can't fight it,
lonely girl, attention *****,
habit I can't quit.
kissing her with your hands on me,
bodies sweaty, subtle touching,
risking that she'll see.

#drunk #lust #you #risk #adrenaline