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but I will miss
writing
in the afterlife.

it was the only way
I could slice open my veins
and bleed out my words
without making a mess.
 Aug 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
There is a void in me that silently shouts hello at people who claim to be in my life
It screeches at those who have hurt me but they don’t really care
It surrenders to all that was promised to me but never delivered
It contemplates freedom or silence as it is indecisive about whether it should speak out or not
It is enslaved by anger and fed by pain
This void forces itself to sleep but anxiety wakes it up with vigour each and every single time
This void reaches out to my heart but that felon turned a blind eye
My brain trades places with my soul and orders my vessels to stop trying to be the good guys
They try to fight but my brain wreaks with anger and orders silence upon them
Blades of hurt beg for redemption but this void hears nothing
Drops of internal tears touch the void’s senses but it has grown too strong for anything to change it
It has taken control over everything and my brain being the sergeant leads this void
They march together to destroy all that is worth life within me
All that is beautiful turns into grey dry petals dried up by savage terrorists
These terrorists call themselves agony and torment
They terrorise my emotions and cast discomfort upon them
They try to escape through my skin pores but chains and shackles were whipped and girdled around them
They cried for help but this void silenced them with a lash of frustration
This void cut me deep and built its own palace in my soul and spirit
Everything else was executed and my body failed to adjust to the new system hence breathe became less and less
I found myself lying on a floor full of pictures
Pictures of my childhood and family
I gazed upon them and sorrowful tears ran down my cheeks
I am donned with a void that took my life from me
Bygone I am
 Aug 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
Below my feet I feel glass
Under my ******* I feel sweat perspired by pain
In between my eyes I see anxiety emerging through my veins right into my eyes
My teeth clench themselves in agony
My voice creaks with fury because beauty is defined by profanity
Profanity embraced by people because they think they know better
Who are we to judge?
But who are we to not judge?
Defined jaws from promiscuous women clasp with fury and worry
Their belief of beauty is supposedly seen through them
Everyone else wonders as to how this may be possible
But their conniving and piercing words curb our brains for their beneficial belief
I sit and wonder how one could possibly define what beauty is…
A tongue that bares words of ultimate obscenity provides atrocity to those whom may be concerned
When you look into their eyes you see fear
Fear of being judged and fear of feeling lost
Rage fumes through their eyes and the burning sensation triggers their tongues to hurt others as a mechanism to feel better
Words spat out from their mouths haze those who they are meant for
These women think beauty is seen from physicality but others beg to differ.
I for one, know that I am one of them
I am not much of a beautiful person on the outside but I know that through all my internal trials and tribulations, I am a beautiful person inside
Windy weathers determine a person’s mood and these women fail to understand
They fail to understand that an increase in problems lights up a matchstick that could burn down a person’s soul
The weather already provides gloom for those in doom but these women fail to comprehend the pain and desolation brought by this weather
These wanton women think Louis Vuitton items define a person’s worth
Lord have mercy may passages of evil not swallow them
May oceans of hurt not sink them
All they have to do is learn how to not judge but how to love
This will help them build their self-esteems into an empire full of care
enriched by hairs of happiness
Perfection may be a satisfaction
But imperfections make one’s life worthwhile
 Jun 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
During the party you said I look beautiful
That was the most amazing moment of my life
Your hazel brown eyes glaring down at my dark brown eyes
Gave me shivers all round my body.
Your smile… worth all that is in me said a lot about you
It made me believe that you were in love with me
And that you will never leave me
It was so warm and so gracious that all I could do was glare back
My heart for the first time ever felt at ease
It’s usually pounding real hard because of all the hurt and pain in my life
But you, you…
You made me not care about anything
You made me forget that I’m fatally ill and that my family is suffering
You gave me life again
Throughout the night you let me lay on your well-built chest and gazed upon the stars
You played with my hands and whispered to me that everything will be alright because I am safe with you
We spent the whole night together with cups of ciroc in our hands.
For the first time ever I felt so real and true.
The party after gave me hope that I’ll see you again
And yes I did see you
Only this time you were with another girl
You did all that you did with me with her but there was only one slight difference
The girl had a boyfriend and he came to fetch her
The boyfriend was my brother and my brother was twice the man you were
They looked good together but you both don’t deserve us
Yes I had a good time with you and I’m not mad at you
But you’re an idiot to think you can play me like that
Yes I’m hurt but I’ll live
You at least left me hope to live and I thank you for that.
 Jun 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
Love
 Jun 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
Love is not kind
Love is not sweet
Love is like a million knives piercing all skin cells and tissue that exist in your body
You give it out in hope that you will receive it back
But you just stand there like a macho man deflating by the day waiting for it to transpire
You grow weak by the day because it knows that it has power over you
Insecurity, pain, few-second joy, sorrow, anguish and despondency become your closest of mates.
As much as they may not understand what you are going through, they are still there
Piercing through your eyes trying to see if their job has been done
Love is not what people say it out to be
"Oh babe I love you so much"
It ends up making people say this
"I regret the day that I ever lay my eyes on you"
Hurt and pain is all that structures your life.
Love is a choice and as much as I may have decided to have it in my life,
I am not guaranteed that it will be there forever
Seasons change and so do people
Now all that is left for me to do is to prepare, sit and just wait.
 Jun 2014 Brandon Edwards
Kamoo
If death were to be a friend, we'd be sitting together drinking hot chocolate and having marshmallows in our pink sleepwear and pink blankets.
If death had to be a mother, it would be scolding and correcting my ways of doing things.
If death were to be a sister, we would be fighting on who looks prettier today.
If death were to be a crush I had, I'd be smiling alone each time I think of it and saving cute lil pictures of it.
If death were to be my roommate, we'd share past experiences during late nights and how strong we should stick together as a unit.
If death were to be school, **** I'd be running every single second of my life from that bully in school or the lessons that just drain your energy including the liquid that surrounds your eyeballs.
If death were to be sports, I'd be doing what I love and keeping fit.
But death is not any of that.
Death is what rips your soul away from you.
Death is what seizes you from your family and friends.
Death is what makes people forget about your existence in this world.
Death is what makes you think twice before making either that one final big move, or the dumbest and biggest mistake of your life.
Hence death is not pretty.
It is a lesson that should teach many that if their destinies have not been fulfilled, then their purposes have not been served,

— The End —