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Jan 2017 · 885
January
fire in her eyes Jan 2017
My heart is like a photo album
Filled only with pictures
Of you.

A thousand times a day,
I lose myself
Between its pages.

But it doesn't keep me warm.
Not in the way that
You did.

So I freeze over for a while
And hibernate within my
Frosted flesh.

In aimless pursuit
Of nothing in particular,
January chills my bones.

Painted white by the winter,
I wait for spring
To thaw me out.
Jan 2017 · 939
Self and I
fire in her eyes Jan 2017
There is no question that I am
More than my mind.
Only a sliver of my being
Resides within my soul shell.
And yet,
There is no emptiness.
I am always graced with the presence
Of Self.
With Self I fill every vacant cavity
In my earthly body.
A joyful light
Fills me to the brim-
Every love I've ever known
Runs through me
Like glitter glue
In my veins.
This is all
Perfectly instrumented-
I am at home
In my own company.
Self and I,
We walk together,
And discuss
Our favorite shades of green.
Jan 2017 · 729
Prana
fire in her eyes Jan 2017
I whisper
To the Earth mother,
"Can you hear
My breathing?
Because,
I can surely
hear yours."
Jan 2017 · 574
Leaving the Nest
fire in her eyes Jan 2017
At the breakfast table-
Visions of my mother
Slicing strawberries
For my cereal.

Her hands..
Purposeful, skilled.
Beholding a lifetime
Of textured dexterity.

And now I sit,
Alone in the same chair,
Stirring milk
Into my coffee.

No longer bound there
By dependence,
I slice strawberries
For my cereal.
Dec 2016 · 919
Depth
fire in her eyes Dec 2016
Yes, I often sit and think about all the times
I was wrong.
And I wonder if you think about them as often
As I do.

It seems that I make mountains
Out of molehills.
All my lovers have told me
Silently.

I fear that I feel everything
So deeply
That I can hardly make the distinction
Between them.
Dec 2016 · 701
Insomnia
fire in her eyes Dec 2016
All too quickly, the good enough
Was gone,
And the only adequacy we fostered
Was in the way we conversed
With our tongues.
Time after time,
Words failed to consecrate our
Understanding,
Left to dangle pathetically in the empty space
Where love should have been.

And so without fail,
The inky blackness of night returned
To overtake me.
I felt my way through the void,
Tripping over our skeletal remains,
Longing for the warm embrace of the familiar.
For hours,
I sat on the front steps of the morning,
Waiting for it to let me in.

I'd come to find that it was hardly ever lonely
In the place between the darkness
and the light.
Dec 2016 · 784
Courage
fire in her eyes Dec 2016
I'm more vulnerable
Than I'd like to be
While holding your hand
With my heart on my sleeve.

To reach out and grab it
Would be easy, it's true.
I could be yours
In a second or two.

No means of defense
With our fingers entwined,
Yet I've never seen hands
Fit so perfect in mine.

My instinct is pressing,
It whispers, "Let go..
If he takes your heart,
He takes all the control."

These are uncharted waters
I'm diving into.
But I think I'll be happy,
If I'm swimming with you.
Dec 2016 · 413
Untitled
fire in her eyes Dec 2016
He was selfish
Even in his generosity,
Giving only what he could afford
To lose.
Dec 2016 · 404
Synergy
fire in her eyes Dec 2016
While wading through the afternoon,
An afternoon of orange and quiet,
I passed a tree engulfed in white blooms,
Their purity stark against the textured green that cradled them.
Beautifully, enticingly fragrant—
Their slowly wilting petals alighting their branched vessel,
Blanketing the grass in a Florida winter’s snow.

I loved the tree,
Became submerged in my own infatuation,
And as I watched its silky snowfall grace the shivering earth,
I knew that I had always loved it,
And that it had always loved me.
Nov 2016 · 428
Everything is Temporary
fire in her eyes Nov 2016
I'm sorry but
I have to take this-
The day is calling and
I cannot stay long.
Did you hear that
This life is temporary? Fleeting?
I heard it through the grapevine and
I know that I can no longer
Waste another second
Without the sun
On my skin.
The moon is rising and
I only wish now that
I had said what I wanted to say
When I wanted
To say it.
Nov 2016 · 686
This Time It's Different
fire in her eyes Nov 2016
I am both fascinated and
Terrified by you,
And the way that you move me
With the subtleties of your being.
And I suppose I forgot that my heart could beat faster
Than its usual, too-steady,
Too-predictable pace.
You remind me that
Nothing is predictable.
You remind me of the person I am
In my favorite dreams
After which I wake up
Disappointed,
Simply because they are over.
I never feel more alive,
More wholeheartedly present in a fleeting moment,
Than when it is you
With whom I share it.
The purest warmth I’ve ever known
Is the closest I’ve ever been to your chest,
And it is there that I know I am home,
Drinking in the glow
Of everything that you are.
I touch you and
Forget immediately how to be anything
But yours.
I touch you and
Realize immediately that there is no way to be
That could ever be enough.
My favorite mystery,
You defy normality
In every possible way.
You are a beautiful
Anomaly.
Nov 2016 · 389
Aftermath
fire in her eyes Nov 2016
So the world wept,
And the sky wept with it
As the leaves shriveled, perished,
And fell to the shivering ground in defeat
And the layers of the earth could be felt
Quaking with fear
Oct 2016 · 409
Ode to Childhood
fire in her eyes Oct 2016
I miss tan lines and passing notes in class and
Jumping on trampolines
I miss summer vacations and the three of us playing video games on the same couch and
The way Christmas used to feel

I miss late night milkshakes and moonlit drives and
The sensation of your hand in mine
I miss playing outside for hours and giggling in the backseat and
The way Christmas used to feel

I miss long bike rides and running through the sprinklers and
Catching tadpoles in the rain
I miss pancake breakfasts and hiding all day in blanket forts and
The way Christmas used to feel

I miss make-your-own-pizza nights and trick-or-treating and
The sound of laughter in every room
I miss golf cart rides and and hugs that last too long and
The way Christmas used to feel
Oct 2016 · 678
In the Arms of the Morning
fire in her eyes Oct 2016
And now I can't stop dreaming
Of an eternal sunrise-
One where I sit and I stare in awe,
As God smears his colors across the sky.
Fluid and variable,
An everlasting display,
Forever and ever.
Find me cradled in the arms
Of the morning.
Oct 2016 · 287
Oneness
fire in her eyes Oct 2016
I've dreamt of being one with all
So when I flew, I could not fall
And when I swam, I could not sink
And when I ran, I could not think
All was well, I laughed, I loved
Everything I had was just enough
Plagued not by cruel desire or greed
I was the world, the world was me
Oct 2016 · 436
Mountains
fire in her eyes Oct 2016
I learned to stand tall
And firm in my truth
Like the mountains in my mind
To which I fled
Time after time
Seeking solace, solitude,
And silence
The courage to be
Had been there,
Within me,
All along
Sep 2016 · 680
Monster Girl
fire in her eyes Sep 2016
In my obsession
With protecting you
In my commitment
To shielding you
From the treachery of the world
I forgot
That perhaps
What posed to you the most danger
Were not your father's threats
Or the demons lurking
In the shadows of your past.
I forgot to protect you
From myself
With my wine-stained lips
And my blood-stained hands
All skin
And bones
And monster
Sep 2016 · 418
Evanescent
fire in her eyes Sep 2016
The day is cyclical
In subconscious routine
I bite my nails
Nails to nubs
And cry
About moments past
Out of reach, translucent
Like silvery ghosts
Frigid, festering, frosting
The blood running thin and contaminated
Through my veins

Lips stained
Recklessly, remorsefully, red
With the wine that impelled me
To allow you there again
Lips stained
Burgundy, begging, beckoning to you
"Come closer,"
They whispered, not I

The day is cyclical
In subconscious routine
I grind my teeth
Teeth to gums
And cry
About moments past
Fleeting, evanescent
Like fireflies at twilight
Flickering, flashing, flitting
Through my mind
I cringe at the thought of
Touching one
Jul 2016 · 346
Vulnerable
fire in her eyes Jul 2016
Like the cooing of a dove
Your words lulled me
To sleep
Cultivating comfort with each
Soft syllable
I dozed and
Drifted into dreamland
You melted me and
Molded me and
Made me mercilessly malleable
Moved and mesmerized,
I am helpless to your
Hypnotic heart
Jul 2016 · 333
I See You in Everything
fire in her eyes Jul 2016
A yellow sun
And ocean blue
I kissed the sky
And thought of you
Jun 2016 · 302
Cravings
fire in her eyes Jun 2016
The inky blackness of the room hugged the outline of my aching body, but hardly tight enough, and my heart was heavy with the weight of missing the safety of your embrace that should have been there, but wasn't.

And I tossed and turned, restless, haunted by the air that traced me in space, buzzing with the energy of your heartbeat that should have been there, but wasn't.

And the hushed night wrapped its hands around my neck and squeezed, leaving little spots of lavender, bruises, shaped like your fingertips that should have been there, but weren't.

And the last words you spoke to me rang in my ears, and I cringed, and I begged, longingly and desperately for the steady rhythm of your sleeping breath that should have been there, but wasn't.
Jun 2016 · 427
Every Time I Fall Asleep
fire in her eyes Jun 2016
And every time I fall asleep
I forget
For a little while
How much I miss you
How much I wish I could undo
What's been done
Every time I fall asleep
I forget
For a little while
How I took you for granted
How badly I wish I could go back and
Stop myself
Every time I fall asleep
I forget
For a little while
The mistakes that I've made
The intertwining cords of emotional connectedness
That I snipped
In a split second
In a moment that replays
Dragging
Slowly
In my mind
Over
         And
                   Over......

Every time I fall asleep
I forget
For a little while
The color of your eyes
The safety of your embrace
The smoke that rolled
In wispy curls
From your lips
I forget
For a little while
And I find myself
More at peace
With the reality
Of losing you
Apr 2016 · 367
Occupied
fire in her eyes Apr 2016
You're my favorite scent
My favorite sound
My favorite sight and hue
You've no trouble understanding me
'Cause all of me is you
Dec 2015 · 427
Periphescence
fire in her eyes Dec 2015
There are so many people to love. I constantly fall into this kind of ***** fascination: a wholehearted, genuine infatuation, as I learn the ins and outs of their beings.
I notice the way they talk with their hands when they're passionate about something and the way they stutter when they ask questions and how their knees bounce and their fingers tap and their pens click when they're nervous.
The way they smile the softest smiles when they're falling in love and their hands shake with anxious tension when they're falling out.
I see people and I want to know them.
I want to learn them and I want to love them.
I simply cannot understand anyone who would find it impossible to fall in love with someone in any short period of time.
I realized I loved him as soon as I watched him climb a tree.
His eyes squinted as he grinned- beamed- and took my hand. And I realized I loved him right then.
The periphescence lasted, burned in the pit of my stomach like a red flame for as long as we were sharing our worlds with the other, and perhaps even longer after he stole his back, shut himself inside, and locked the door.
I swear I banged on it for days on end, hands bruised and knuckles bleeding as I knocked and knocked and knocked and hoped that he might answer it one day, realizing he'd forgotten what color my eyes were or on which side my hair parted.
I was estranged from him for what felt like eons, lightyears, eternities- and not once did I forget the burn of his touch as he ran his fingertips down my back, or the way his right hand squeezed my left thigh as he drove.
I remembered- I still remember- the warm giddiness that accompanied him each time we came together and lingered, glowing and buzzing, within me each time he went away.
He is gone now.
He is long gone and I still remember.
Sep 2015 · 905
In My Veins
fire in her eyes Sep 2015
There are days I wish the rain would stop
And days that I pretend
That drenched under a weeping sky
The rain would never end.
An endless, steady shower
Flooding fields and streets and brains
Sopping wet, my pruning skin
Forever water-stained.
"Cleanse my conscience, make me whole,"
I whisper to the clouds
Lightning often crashes, but
My thoughts are just as loud.
And wading through the rising tides,
I realize what I've done.
Drowning in the misty gray,
I long to feel the sun.
I know that soon the rain will stop,
For so much time has passed.
Soaked to the bone with trembling hands,
I'll see the light at last.
A golden glow will dry the earth,
Few puddles will remain.
But the storm within me rages on-
The rain is in my veins.
Jul 2015 · 408
I Did
fire in her eyes Jul 2015
I don't want to touch your hands
Knowing that they've explored her body
And held her
When she didn't need to be held
And I did
May 2015 · 503
Softly
fire in her eyes May 2015
I watched him slide his hands around her waist,
Kissing her shoulder softly
With a kind of gentleness that I had seen in him
Only twice:
When he was asleep,
And when he was in love
Feb 2015 · 668
Springtime
fire in her eyes Feb 2015
Spring, you beautiful awakening
Post-coma's first breath
White death resurrection
Feb 2015 · 593
The Winter Months (pt. 1)
fire in her eyes Feb 2015
We are just friends now.  The fire in your eyes is now smoldering embers- fading to ashes as you move on and on and on and there are more girls and more girls and you're thriving off the thrill of the chase that you crave so badly and I'm still singing sad love songs when I'm alone and driving for miles and miles and miles on an empty highway... Aching for a nonexistent yesterday and shackling myself to my favorite memories to keep me from floating away.
I'm hanging on by a heartbeat.  The only thing that keeps me warm at night anymore is the thought of your lips on my neck and the softness, the gentleness of those little forehead kisses.
"It's the fire in your eyes."
****, I keep hearing this.  I can't escape you and your indifference cuts me to the core.  I can't stand a plain goodbye.  I've never been good with ordinary- and what is so puzzling is that I know you are so far from it that you could never be okay with this...typicalness.
It was, we were
Always more that that.
Please tell me you need me like I need you.  There is no certainty involved in existence, I know, but I can hardly get used to these bones and these lungs and this heartbeat that thumps for you ever so steadily in my chest.  You ruin me in the way I suppose I always hoped to be ruined.

It's only love
It's only loss    
It only hurts for a second and then
It's over and
You're gone and I'm free
To feel all the feelings
I could have never felt
With you by my side.
Jan 2015 · 3.6k
Night Surrender
fire in her eyes Jan 2015
I pray that
This night within me
Will surrender
To the vibrant brilliance of morning
And the sun will swallow me up
At last
Jan 2015 · 982
Headlights
fire in her eyes Jan 2015
Blinding headlights on the highway and
The reflection of a red light on the wet road...
Green light...
And I'm driving straight for miles
And miles
And it's raining
And I'm trying not to speed but
I just want to get somewhere
Anywhere
God, it's so dark and so misty and
How long has the air conditioning been on? Because
I'm freezing and
I let one too many raindrops fall on my window shield
Because maybe it's a challenge but
I can hardly see where I'm going and
The music is too loud, I know, but
You would never turn it down so
I drive faster and faster and hope that
Somehow you can hear it and
Realize that every lyric is you because
I miss you and
I wish I knew how
To turn this car around
Jan 2015 · 966
Lying is a Bad Habit
fire in her eyes Jan 2015
Am I just another fix-
Less important than escape
You're honest when convenient
Please just lay it on me straight
I don't want to think you're hiding
Won't believe you've taken part
In shutting lights off in my head
To keep me in the dark
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
Her
fire in her eyes Jan 2015
Her
I want to hold your hand
And touch your face
And tell you all the reasons why I know you better than you know yourself

So, maybe she'll give you everything she has on the first date
But she will never know
About the way you twitch in your sleep
Or that you brush your teeth in the shower
She can't remember
When we were wild children in the rain
Or the time we jumped that bridge on a fearless whim
She won't understand
Our made-up, secret language
Or that you wear mismatched socks because no one sees them anyways

So, maybe she's easy
A prize to be won
But she will never know you like I do
I promise
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
Insomnia
fire in her eyes Jan 2015
It's 1:51 a.m. and nothing feels real
I want to be back- back in his bed
He was pulling me closer
His fingertips groping for more of me, more of me...
To one there was only the other.
We moved and touched without thinking
Using only our hands and our passion to guide each other through the dark
I want to be back- back on his dresser
His eyes glued to me as I whispered drunken nonsense
"You're beautiful," he said. "Look at you."
"I hate you," I slurred between kisses
I was talking too much...truth poured from my lips like a dam that had finally been broken
"I hate myself too."
And his eyes saddened, contrasting strangely with that crooked smile that beamed just as brightly
"Somehow you're falling for me..."
I inhaled and felt my lungs swell with everything that he was
Felt his hot breath stiff with alcohol as he chuckled and leaned in again
It is all so blurry
I want to be back- back in his arms
Feel it all again
And again
Because he never called
And he's probably awake now
Thinking about a girl who isn't me
I don't want to ever
Ever
Forget
The reason I wasted so much time basking in the glow of his evasive memory
Or why it is now 2:17 a.m. and I still can't sleep
Because maybe I'm afraid that by the time I wake up
We will have drifted further apart
Dec 2014 · 903
Nostalgia
fire in her eyes Dec 2014
Golf cart rides and
Watermelon rinds and
A driveway kiss and
Sunshiney bliss and
Catching grapes in your mouth
A1A, heading south
Bare feet
Eyes meet
Doing cartwheels on the beach
Singing to the radio,
Solo cups
Tangled up
Building fires by the sea
Forever, him and me
Dec 2014 · 492
Masterpiece
fire in her eyes Dec 2014
Blank slate
I am
Renewed
Paper white
Inviting you
To color me
With your words
And make me
Beautiful again
Vibrant
And sinfully patterned
As I once was
Smudge your ink
Smear your paint
I want to be
Your work of art
Jan 2014 · 986
Fleeing
fire in her eyes Jan 2014
I was strange and we both knew it
A fickle heart and chameleon soul
Delirious, demented
A capricious firecracker
Fluctuating, erratic
A passing gust of wind
Tangible and alive between your fingers for a second
And gone the next
Dissolved, fleeing
I was strange
And we both knew it
Nov 2013 · 799
Passion
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
I am wholeheartedly fascinated
By your very being
Your mere existence
I could stare into those familiar amber eyes
For eternities
And still feel unsatisfied, unfulfilled

I'm devising a plan to take time by the hand
Request that it slow down
Retrace its steps
To the hours that we spent in your bed
Constantly attempting to reduce the space between us

Our limbs entangled
Adhered to each other
We are one

Perhaps your fingers are cold as ice
As they run across my skin
Because every bit of tender warmth
Is concentrated in the heart of you
In your glowing, radiant soul

Let my love be the kindling
That fuels your fiery passion
Nov 2013 · 642
Passenger Seat
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
The passenger seat of your car will always feel familiar
Cool breeze and streaming sunlight
My hair a knotted and tangled mess
You laugh and try to fix it, but it never looks quite right
Nirvana blaring through your speakers for the hundredth time this week
You wear the same gray jacket that smells so much like you
And I wear the same smile
Neither of us speak, not because we're angry or tired
But simply because there is nothing to say
You tell me everything in every gentle squeeze of my hand

We are in love
Nov 2013 · 851
Deafening Silence
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
Eyes locked for dragging seconds
You opened your mouth
And closed it
And opened it once more
Nothing but deafening waves of silence
Escaped your lips
The air became heavy and saturated
With words you wanted to say
But didn't

Two breaths, you took
Each in synchronism
With my subtle gasp of anticipation
Never did I dare
To question your hesitance
Because I, too
Fostered mangled words
On the tip of my tongue
That I could not string together
For the life of me
Nov 2013 · 825
Inhaling Essence
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
I breathe you in
Inhale your essence as you speak
Your words, your energy
Intoxicate me
And simultaneously
Blacken my lungs
This toxic smoke
Will surely **** me
But I cannot bring myself
To exhale
Nov 2013 · 555
Indifferent
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
For months and months
I waited
Praying for a sign
But without me
You laughed and smiled
And I realized
You were fine
Nov 2013 · 880
Ticklish
fire in her eyes Nov 2013
I long to discover
Your favorite jokes
And ticklish spots
Because the sound
Of your laughter
Rings in my ears
Caresses my brain
Its tender reverberation
Establishes permanent residency
Your laughter, I urge
To make itself
At home
Oct 2013 · 676
Cartographer
fire in her eyes Oct 2013
I never regret
Asking you
What you're thinking about
Because your mind
Is a maze
And slowly
I am drawing
A map
Oct 2013 · 787
Confessions
fire in her eyes Oct 2013
I confess that I am worried
I confess that I am scared
I confess that I've been staring for too long at your empty chair
I confess that I am fickle
I confess that I am scarred
I confess that I too often see your face among the stars
I confess that I am tired
I confess that I am stressed
I confess that I still long to lay my head upon your chest
I confess that I am hopeful
I confess that I am strong
I confess that I know someday you'll be back where you belong
I confess that I still love you
I confess that I still care
I confess that I've felt space beside me
Wishing for you there
Oct 2013 · 447
Something Better
fire in her eyes Oct 2013
We spend our lives waiting
Waiting for something better
When in fact, the best we will ever have
Is quite possibly right in front of us
Inches from our faces
And we'd never notice

We lay, face to face
With only our soft whispers
To fill the small space between us
With only our minds and bodies
To satisfy the desires of the other

We do not have much
Not much besides love
But as I gently traced the outline of your lips
And you stared into my eyes
As if they were gates to the most magnificent soul you had ever seen
We were happy

And yet
To this day
We each find ourselves hoping
For something better
Sep 2013 · 556
Too Young
fire in her eyes Sep 2013
One might be quick to peg me as a heedless, young lover
Which perhaps I am
In the sense that
Nothing else in the world would matter to me
In the arms of the one who was my world

Yet, they tell us to slow down
Most will not allow themselves to believe
That two souls as young as we
As lost and broken as we
Could discover the true meaning of this mysterious thing called "love"

It seems quite silly
Almost senseless
That they would deny the younger generation of this feeling
This overwhelming, unavoidable attraction

Because how can you expect to love when you become old and wise
If in your days of youth
You have not practiced?

— The End —