Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Mar 2021 · 161
At The Final Hour
biche Mar 2021
Suddenly!
Unexpectedly —
But admittedly within all odds —
My Master is here!

(Don’t stop yearning
Dreaming
Seeing —  
Yours might come, too)

You are beautiful
And loved
Here’s proof
He said

When I got on my knees
To take what was due
To submit and be led
The Master getting used to it, too

I felt it start to leave me
The pale dread
Of standing alone
In these flames
Holding bags of coal

When we got back
To the castle
You could see clear
Across the southern tip
Of the lake

The factory chimneys
Ready to burn
Lighting the room

Behind the city lights
When my Master comes
Tonight to
Make it right
And put this past to bed

With that red
Leather paddle
And! If I’m lucky!
His belt
As he pushes down
My head

Such is the landscape
Uneasily elated
This side of my soul

Sunbathing in his power
Not wanting it to end.
Mar 2021 · 63
Trifles
biche Mar 2021
How to tell you
I’m desperate
Ephemeral
Gutted

Again? Your eye roll
Dismissal
Devastating
Solid

Silent and
Pregnant with
Potential and
Pain

Years disappearing
Tears like rain
Mar 2021 · 277
Mean Yellow Sports Car
biche Mar 2021
Sixteen and *** on the body and soul
As banal a story as any, boys will be boys after all.  But I am a girl —

It’s 1983, he’s nineteen and drives a mean yellow sports car my father could see from afar as he pulled into the driveway way before the three I was expecting - it was lunchtime and I was “sick”
The woodstove fires were out so he came home to stoke -

Ah but this young man
Had already taken care of
That - and when the door opened!
My father’s tight face
Mortified me

Body and soul wrung dry for three decades or more.

They still make those ******* cars.
I just saw one drive down the street
Of my midlife crisis afternoon walk.
My father gone a long time now -
my mother just last week touting as her inheritance! What she shamed me
So very thoroughly for
Then, so
I won’t ask her if she remembers.

My father turned swiftly and fled,
letting my mother fail to handle it.
Boys will be boys.
Girls mustn’t be *****.
He was always proud of me.
She still tells me how I’m doing it wrong, but I just laugh because I know
She doesn’t even own
A *******.
Mar 2021 · 182
Homecoming
biche Mar 2021
There is no quarter for my heart
General, you found my Achilles
Your words like bombs
Hit me and quickly
Crushed my breath
Into a shallow grave
There in my throat
Where, last night, I took you in

Oh! Such glad submission
Not even —
Don’t dream of it —
Stop imagining —
Cruel desire! Weapon of the gods.

What do I get? You snarled
*******
But that’s exactly
What you won’t do

I don’t know why or what or who
Where to go
The blue on the horizon turns to red
I stare at the unmade bed
Weeping in the prison camp
Of our briefly happy
(But really terribly sad)
Homecoming
Feb 2021 · 155
Attention
biche Feb 2021
I don’t know how to proceed
It seems you don’t need
My attention
Except the answers to
Basic questions like
Are you hungry?
To you, that’s care —
And I need to be fed, but
I don’t dare
Tell you what I’m hungry for

My educated, thoughtful, reasoned, and empassioned analysis
Is of no interest
No wonder I feel stupid
Telling you

My buxom, breathless, bothered, bewildered body
Trembles unseen underneath
Clothes worn like a shroud
Because you say goodnight
And walk out

Oh, the devastation! All you did was kiss me and close the door gently, leaving me alone in the dark. Others would **** for the things I have. You told me that.

Maybe it’s all in my head
Maybe your love isn’t dead
Maybe the spell took hold
Maybe when all is told
We will sit and look at the sea
Understanding each other and
Smiling - finally.
Feb 2021 · 78
Withdrawal Method
biche Feb 2021
I know I won’t get what I want
Are my expectations that daunting
Yes and your lack of enthusiasm is
Hardly calming me down it’s
A good thing you can’t hear me frown
On the phone even though it was
All we had when we first met
You hadn’t yet felt it that
Disappointment that letdown that
Withdrawal method the emotional one
You deny it and always insist
You love me
And I do
Believe that and I love you beyond measure
And we both know there is something
Wrong but still you make it alright
And I don’t give you enough credit
For that
Feb 2021 · 109
Things To Write About
biche Feb 2021
Men
Clean energy
Politics
Feral nocturnal predators
Personal responsibility
Men - *** - ***!
Justice
State-sponsored ******
Polar vortex
Global warming
Oppression and marginalization
Private prisons
Men - *** - *** - pain - passion!
Parenting
Chores and work (that one’s big)
Questions clients ask
Masks, masks, masks
Permaculture
The fragile grid
The time-space continuum
Relativity
Men - *** - *** - pain - passion - love - ***! ***! *******
Self-esteem
Self-help
Methodologies
Philosophies
“Health is wealth”
Cultural appropriation
Birth and death of a nation
Slavery is still in effect
The contemporary panopticon
Poetry
Men - *** - ***- pain - passion - love - LOSS!
Intimacy
Friendship
Trust
Care
Men! Men! Men!
*** and pain!
Passion and love!
Profit and gain
Loss!
Understanding
*******
Sedation
Psychosis
Desire
Me­n! ***! Passion! Love! Pain! Loss! ******* on a schedule!
Questions and Answers
*Look within
Feb 2021 · 397
Sunlight
biche Feb 2021
You said you wanted me
In the daytime
So you could clearly see
What makes me a woman
In the sunlight
Feb 2021 · 77
Burnt
biche Feb 2021
Who knows where
The heat goes when
It leaves my skin
And body cold

Nobody promised me
Anything

(Silence empty
Hollow ringing)

Desire takes peace
Out back to
Be shot

Still, it is all
I got now, just the
Liquid fire with
Furrowed brow
Holding the fort

I got burnt so badly
I shivered

(Sun scathing
Rough sailing)

Ah, the distance
I keep

The power I
Handed over
Just sits
Like a rock
On a flower

Crushing
You, me, and
Everyone in between.
Feb 2021 · 201
The Path Home
biche Feb 2021
I can’t get enough
Not from one or any of you
I seethe with potential
Answers to the question:
Just how many of you
Could I take (and take, and take)
In the suspended space
Of one afternoon?

Oh I’m self-sufficient
A free woman
Still, I can’t seem to
Get what I need  
Not hard enough
Not deep enough
Not often enough
Not dark enough
Not rough enough
Not real enough
Not enough pain
Not enough care
For all that I dare
To give up

I want to feel those
******* butterflies
Those weak knees
I have reins to give you
Take them

Instead I’m
Disconnected
Disaffected
Utterly bereft
The whole package
Left unwrapped
Treasure untapped
Energy sapped

Don’t laugh -
And please don’t say
No, and especially not
“For my own good” -
That will not do.
You don’t know!
This is the way!
I have nothing else
To say about it -
This is my road
The path home.
Feb 2021 · 77
Always
biche Feb 2021
I don’t want to hurt you
They say
As they do
The very ******* thing
That hurts
The most
Feb 2021 · 60
Nothing You Said
biche Feb 2021
Such squandering
Waste and wanting
Both

Such familiarity
Left with nothing
Rote

Repetition of the
Same old refrain

I can’t -
I’m not -
I don’t -

There’s no
Forgetting the strain
Draining the shame
Right out of
The piece of me
You still happen to
Retain
Or do you?
Who knows.

I do -  

So I turn
Burning
Such potency
Such heat
So many avenues
Oh but this street
Is only one way
Nothing you said

Nothing!

Will break
The spell I wrote
And cast
Into the sea
My flames burning
So ******* hot
Reducing the vastness
To dissipating steam
biche Feb 2021
battles over which direction to kneel
people reaching out to touch
but forgetting to feel
daily breath shouldn't be a daily penance
is that what you believe
or just a life sentence

i look into the mirror
and i see someone there i used to know
they all want you to serve them
but the only one you got to serve
is your soul

so much time
and at such a cost
we spend looking for what we've lost
now that you know
you can't find it from him
you're gonna have to find it within

i look into the mirror
and i see that life has taken its toll
they'll all want you to serve them
but the only one you got to serve
is your soul

listen to the wind it won't lie to you
if you love it let it go
and watch it fly to you
every setting sun gently weeps
you can always hear it
'cause trust never sleeps
Feb 2021 · 2.1k
15 Years Already
biche Feb 2021
Between that first moment
Of giddying dizzying
Infatuation and
Anticipation
And this one of
Debilitating disappointing
Despair and
Isolation
When did you flip
The switch?

Was my hand on it, too?

I don’t want to
Stay here in the dark
So I turn on
My own Light

C’mon now
We both know
This doesn’t make
Anything
Alright
Feb 2021 · 321
Laundry
biche Feb 2021
I been using a washboard since I was eight
Cutting up the fels-naptha with a paring knife
One tub to wash
The other to rinse
Hanging on the line and then
Shaking out the stiff wrinkles
In the half-frozen dawn

Sunrise sure looked pretty,
All pink and orange and gold
I used to shiver but not from the cold
Thinking of scrubbing and rubbing
My hands raw
Bending and stooping
As my heart grew old

Not my body though!
I knew how beautiful I was
But I also knew how
Dangerous was love
Both the making and bearing of children
Lord knows how it rips you up
Shreds your most tender parts
Screaming bleeding flesh!
I don't think about it much
And anyway, it ain't always
About love - making babies and
Soiling clothes

A while back there were six of us
In the house
With the boys, when they were home
Wash day came twice a week then
When they brought home
That machine,
It's true it got a little
Easier but it still took me
The better part of two days

When the little ones visited, laundry day
Was every day
I didn't mind then - they
Were bright as sunshine those
Children
No mark of my agony on them

My granddaughter is having her first
Baby now and she does complain,
There are piles of damp, rumpled
Towels, and men's shirts
***** and stained
For her to attend to, they
Constrain her
Conference calls and
Computer time -
Once I caught her sobbing
About the endlessness of it all

And the invisibility!
The humiliating impossibility!
She hasn't even realized it yet
But I won't tell her about that,
She'll see soon enough
There's no quarter for dreams
For girlhood
Snuffed by that one
First scream
The one that is stifled
In the dark
Under his weight
The night of the wedding
And never heard again

Oh, the centuries of
Drudgery
I carry in my cells
The wails of grandmothers
And their dozens of children -
The ones who lived
Blotting out the memory
Of babies who died -
All that! For such a short life!

I don't want her to know the enormity of it
One day soon,
She will understand all too well
And like seasons,
The inevitability will break her heart
For my great-grandmother, Antonia Rosman Swetish
Jan 2021 · 99
Whole Other Stories
biche Jan 2021
I met you by accident, that is
If you believe in accidents
Maybe it’s for a reason
Some complicated web of intrigue
Intelligently engineered
Perhaps I'm commandeered
By a god who wants only
To know herself

I met him that way too -
By accident
Walking down a crowded street
Floating on the magic carpet of youth
Can I *** a smoke off you?
Simple words said, and fun!
But then he wouldn't take No
As my answer
Fifteen years and a child
Later, passion became rage
When I remembered
The facts of the event
If you want to call it ****, well
That's a whole other story

The wedding I went to - oh!
I was pretty then, and lost
Your gaze up the length of my legs
You held off for so long
But god wanted a whole
Other story to
Entertain her
And here we are
Locked in something
Brazen - attempting fusion
The growth comes in spurts
Beyond all measure -- it hurts
Oh, it hurts

When I was eight or nine
There was something
A few moments of horror
Or was it bliss?
Forever amiss I'll be --
A whole other story
Told to god in my dreams
Healed when you listened
And touched me on the seams
Right where I'd fallen apart

Then I woke up whole
In L.A. on a sunny day
I walked the streets of Paris in the rain
I climbed the mountain of my youth
Felt the pain
I trudged through the snow
By the Lake
I sat with the ball of
God's yarn in my belly
Pulling the strings
Unravelling the things
The whole other stories
That broke me
And the ones I've yet
To tell
There is more to the story, there always is
biche Jan 2021
When day comes we ask ourselves,
where can we find light in this never-ending shade?
The loss we carry,
a sea we must wade
We've braved the belly of the beast
We've learned that quiet isn't always peace
And the norms and notions
of what just is
Isn't always just-ice
And yet the dawn is ours
before we knew it
Somehow we do it
Somehow we've weathered and witnessed
a nation that isn't broken
but simply unfinished
We the successors of a country and a time
Where a skinny Black girl
descended from slaves and raised by a single mother
can dream of becoming president
only to find herself reciting for one
And yes we are far from polished
far from pristine
but that doesn't mean we are
striving to form a union that is perfect
We are striving to forge a union with purpose
To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and
conditions of man
And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us
but what stands before us
We close the divide because we know, to put our future first,
we must first put our differences aside
We lay down our arms
so we can reach out our arms
to one another
We seek harm to none and harmony for all
Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true:
That even as we grieved, we grew
That even as we hurt, we hoped
That even as we tired, we tried
That we'll forever be tied together, victorious
Not because we will never again know defeat
but because we will never again sow division
Scripture tells us to envision
that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree
And no one shall make them afraid
If we're to live up to our own time
Then victory won't lie in the blade
But in all the bridges we've made
That is the promise to glade
The hill we climb
If only we dare
It's because being American is more than a pride we inherit,
it's the past we step into
and how we repair it
We've seen a force that would shatter our nation
rather than share it
Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy
And this effort very nearly succeeded
But while democracy can be periodically delayed
it can never be permanently defeated
In this truth
in this faith we trust
For while we have our eyes on the future
history has its eyes on us
This is the era of just redemption
We feared at its inception
We did not feel prepared to be the heirs
of such a terrifying hour
but within it we found the power
to author a new chapter
To offer hope and laughter to ourselves
So while once we asked,
how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe?
Now we assert
How could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?
We will not march back to what was
but move to what shall be
A country that is bruised but whole,
benevolent but bold,
fierce and free
We will not be turned around
or interrupted by intimidation
because we know our inaction and inertia
will be the inheritance of the next generation
Our blunders become their burdens
But one thing is certain:
If we merge mercy with might,
and might with right,
then love becomes our legacy
and change our children's birthright
So let us leave behind a country
better than the one we were left with
Every breath from my bronze-pounded chest,
we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one
We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the west,
we will rise from the windswept northeast
where our forefathers first realized revolution
We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the midwestern states,
we will rise from the sunbaked south
We will rebuild, reconcile and recover
and every known nook of our nation and
every corner called our country,
our people diverse and beautiful will emerge,
battered and beautiful
When day comes we step out of the shade,
aflame and unafraid
The new dawn blooms as we free it
For there is always light,
if only we're brave enough to see it
If only we're brave enough to be it

-Amanda Gorman
The Hill We Climb
A brilliant poet makes history today!
biche Dec 2020
“Our conversation was short and sweet
It nearly swept me off my feet
And I'm back in the rain, oh
And you are on dry land
You made it there somehow
You're a big girl now

Bird on the horizon, sittin' on a fence
He's singin' his song for me at his own expense
And I'm just like that bird, oh
Singin' just for you
I hope that you can hear
Hear me singin' through these tears

Time is a jet plane, it moves too fast
Oh, but what a shame if all we've shared can't last
I can change, I swear, oh
See what you can do
I can make it through
You can make it, too

Love is so simple, to quote a phrase
You've known it all the time, I'm learnin' it these days
Oh, I know where I can find you, oh
In somebody's room
It's a price I have to pay
You're a big girl all the way

A change in the weather is known to be extreme
But what's the sense of changing horses in midstream?
I'm going out of my mind, oh
With a pain that stops and starts
Like a corkscrew to my heart
Ever since we've been apart”
Dec 2020 · 164
Watch Your Self
biche Dec 2020
There is an simple little trick —
Simple, not easy —
That a person can employ
When joy
Eludes the soul.

Observe the person worrying,
Scurrying,
Burying,
Clarion-ing...
Whatsoever the person is Doing.

Watch.
Zoom out. See?
Now say “that is not me.”
Like a cell divided,
There is you,
And there is also
The Watcher.

The act of Watching
Creates a space
Just big enough for
The Grace the
Self needs
To fly in and perch like a little bird
Smiling into the chaos —
See? There is a we
Inside the I!
Watch me fly!
You are ok, no matter what.
Dec 2020 · 135
That’s Doctor To You
biche Dec 2020
Well, “kiddo”...

I GUESS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

How I planned and compartmentalized and rushed and cleaned and nursed and played with and changed and fed the baby

ALL THE WHILE

Completing my reading (oh, the reading! The entire works of Montaigne in 48 hours, have you attempted it?) and coursework and exams and grant-writing and research and travel and WROTE A 300-PAGE BOOK...

A L L  O F  I T  DURING THE BABY’S NAP TIME!

Oh, you ******* knew...and you didn’t care. You feel entitled to your assumed superiority.

I was first in my cohort to graduate with a DOCTORATE from one of the top ten schools IN THE **** WORLD when my child was six - What have YOU done?

You, with your paltry bachelor’s degree and your fear of strong women, can ******* alone into crumpled copies of the Wall Street Journal for the rest of your stupid, underachieving  life.
#smashthepatriarchy
Nov 2020 · 3.2k
The signal I follow
biche Nov 2020
“It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love one another and support one another. We have nothing to lose but our chains.”
-Assata Shakur
The personal is always political and the political is always personal.
Nov 2020 · 80
Apocalyptic
biche Nov 2020
Not too long ago I was regretting
Not being more into prepping, but mostly
I was fretting that we wouldn’t agree
On who was the enemy —
When the time came to fight

Out there like in here,
Who’s to blame?
Could it be fifty-fifty?
You be red and I’ll be blue —
Roses and violets.
Let’s commit to non-violence.
Oct 2016 · 496
Down for the Count
biche Oct 2016
Clear the calendar and fluff the pillows
Show all visitors to the door
Lift up my fist and smash all the mirrors
It's not going to be my fault anymore

Lay blame where blame is due
Detach myself from what was you
Love kills even when it's true
Time hurts and heals, too

And though this verse is uninspired
My mind and spirit give it tired
Permission to go wild
A rogue message to no one out there who cares

For there is no solution to sadness
Only the choice between
Strength and madness
And in between
A rebellious and deliberate sickness
A detoxification
A humming, buzzing
Refusal of all but the air
Oct 2016 · 378
I believe in love
biche Oct 2016
So I hide in my tower above the lake
here this body of pain hurts without mattering
the privileges I earned
shielding me from real harm

I fear tsunamis and armed invaders
I fear your indifference and failure
I fear my mind yet revere it
So save me
so save me

The night sings sometimes
Strange faraway reveries that would only tire me now
We remain friends even in silence
strong, still and
electric, whenever -

Ours are stupid fears and
we tell the children the truth that
it is never as bad as it seems
Not knowing what makes them
afraid in the world

I am always afraid
We are fragile beings
On the brink of destruction
But there really is something
about you, dark and subversive

I stay for it, wait all day for it
become a cliché for it
burning away yet another batch
of more than normal days -
I make my deals
out there where it's deep

I find treasure in my sleep
Oct 2016 · 277
Capital unplugged
biche Oct 2016
I lost power when the storm hit
At first the rain was just a
Veiled rejection - not this time - so
I rallied and asked for
A different kind of more
Anyway, with nothing to lose;
They only said maybe and the full brunt
Of the sucker punch
Doubled me over as I hung up the phone.
They might give me nothing, in the end.
My work, my worth, my capital -
Creates more excuses than rewards.
And as for my love, my ***, my energy -
The capital of my soul?
You betrayed it when you let slip that
My story was mere noise to you
The intricate details of my path, my thoughts -
The actors I have described, even the ludicrous stage they play on
Just a wailing siren you tune out until it fades away
And you can hand me one of the generic pacifiers
You keep on hand for me
But I'd rather choke today

And so I sit with my value
My capital brims over, pours into the gutter
Until I turn it off, switch on autopilot instead
Do they not know I'm only half alive?
Do you not know all this passion is for you?
Not that it matters, or that they would care
And since you don't need me either,
I sit
And I stare
Sep 2016 · 504
My home
biche Sep 2016
Sometimes I hate you
As I'm sure you hate me
But there is no hate without passion
And oh, the passion!
A passion full of permission
You do as you please
It is perfect for me
Even when it hurts
A pain full of promise
Predicting ecstatic crescendo
Until billions of tiny explosions
Transform me again
Then it's your turn
And I watch your face
Safe in your locked embrace
Breathing your scent
At home
Sep 2016 · 628
Love lies
biche Sep 2016
I remember a few safe hiding places
All in my dreams - no narrative to give them shape,
So lonely when I close my eyes.

You care mostly about you, and you
Misunderstand emotion, although - I wonder
How your love gets mixed with lies.

Red flags pop up when you say my
Feelings are incorrect.

Underneath (for I know better now than to show you)
I boil in contempt.

My word against yours, I suppose.
All would be simpler if my heart would only close.

Did I betray you? No
When did it change? It didn't
My head is bowed. So lift it up

I won't. I won't disrupt your leisure.
Wherever your love lies,
I watch as it gets buried deeper.
Aug 2016 · 536
Marriage
biche Aug 2016
No matter how you consider it (who hasn't) -
It's a contract.

Not the same thing as contact
Although one might wish it were so, since
That word gives such hopeful prospects, promising (among other things) -
"An occurrence in which people communicate with each other."

Once you add the "r" the terrain becomes treacherous.  
Agreement is the foundation, but legality is required
And worse, a specific form involves
Cold-blooded ******

How ridiculous that seems in light of the simple fact of our connection.
It does that all on its own.

Contact is so deceptively simple -
So brutally honest in it's being there, or not
As for communication, you fuckwitted glamour queen -
I throw up my hands at you.

Contract is the most intimate of all.
Promising to share *** and death and possibly even birth.
But intimate can be vague and crazy.
A party animal bullshitter who leaves a lot unsaid.

It's not necessary to understand how it works when it works.
In the case of marriage, it might even be fatal.
Love is a given when it's true.
I learned that from you.
*Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Aug 2016 · 722
Ode to Small Feels
biche Aug 2016
Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms

Long thin slimy ones
Short fat grubby ones
Going to the garden to eat worms
Vague memory of a song I learned as a child, in honor of my terrifically willful little neice
Aug 2016 · 279
Hold me in Sleep
biche Aug 2016
In my dream I had a lover
Who loved me more than you do
Until death, he said, but not in this life
I'm keeping a promise to another

I awoke to the greatest heartache
Everyone knows what it feels like
A loneliness so firm and infinite
Sharp ambition tailspin wake

We are afraid - we cower before each other
Our potential power muted by ego
If we could let go and be bold
Accepting our faults like weather

If we could give rather than keep
If we could hold each other in sleep
I miss you so ******* much I can't breathe
Jun 2016 · 410
Hysteria, *bis*
biche Jun 2016
Broken by the sun and beauty,
the brazen abstract delight of it,
the empty impact on my
relentless hunger -
I know why you love the
overcast days, when lifted spirits
are rebellious and so we can smugly rest in
our contempt for convention.

Conditioned instincts say practice
an anorexia of the soul

In order to get this under control
but why squander a form of redemption
when it is right there in front of you?

Many reasons too obvious to ignore -
don't be a *****
for starters -

No money exchanged, just
my literal core.

Tell me - what do you think I did that for?
Jun 2016 · 483
This burn
biche Jun 2016
I'm burning, burning
Up and out
Not allowed
To talk about it
Shame held up
As worthy, touted
I feel it I feel it
I can't delete this
Can't refute
Won't refuse
Won't diffuse this
Energy so pure
You'd think the lure
Would be unstoppable
But I'm in my tracks
Set all the way back
Immobile, ignoble
I meant it when
I spoke the truth
I meant it
but I won't stoop
Unbridled this loop
Chaos of bliss
Out of my reach
Hissing disbelief
So I burn, burn
Touch me and you scathe
Weeping, I fly away
I bury my soul under the waves
blistering from the heat
May 2016 · 806
Fuck radical
biche May 2016
So, at least two
intelligent, healthy and sane
adult men - peers -
have told me
I have a fantastic ***
and not to be a brat
but I'm sure others have thought it...
It turns me on to think of
how men see my ***
and imagine ******* me
as I walk down the street -
you! shut the **** up
keep it to yourself but
it turns me on -
saying this is so *******
radical
and could even
get me killed
May 2016 · 356
remedy
biche May 2016
Such bare, screaming misery
it felt white
it burned
something palpable insisting
on crushing
my already barrenness
better to die
in my dream
just a dream
terrify my soul
upon waking I scoured
my to-do list for
the remedy but
be still and
accept it weren't
on there so
I fidget now
and fight it as I
wait for coffee's
saving kick
May 2016 · 696
unsafe in the first world
biche May 2016
girls walking around
free as birds
if not
for the unending
pulse of
Misery, the
sickening buzz
of Reality -
I've worked hard -
and I've Earned
but I hear and fear
it every day
for it looms, my darling,
oh! How it looms
May 2016 · 362
The Pain
biche May 2016
Honest rage brings a woman trouble
Ceases to be cute
Loud voices then refute
pittances of praise flung from the bubble

A day of lies
A day of breaking ties
A day of breaking down to cry
over you and everyone else

You are trapped in the past
Someplace where you were last
deemed right, correct and just
So you stay there because you must

I understand, the volatile world terrifies you
But I've stopped being afraid
of loneliness
and the sorrow you give me feels normal now

Love is a certainty
Understanding is not
A woman's hot rage
A man's blankly turned page

There are moments
When the entirety of everything is useless
And others - rare
When beauty strips my soul bare

Pared down to its essence
This battle is useless
There is no justice
Only a deep, aching hurt

What respite will consciousness bring?
Will we rise above this awful thing?
A clearing away of the rain
Soaking and cleansing the pain
Apr 2016 · 848
Debris
biche Apr 2016
The debris of a life
stacked up like so many
discarded curbside gems
I close the garage door
Take me, I'm yours
As I let go,
Gratefully
Mar 2016 · 441
Aliens with flamethrowers
biche Mar 2016
It's a recurring dream so
Terrifying and long
They are huge machines
But also some of them integrate as us
Or we collaborate with them
Or both
People are separated from each other
There are new things happening
In vast buildings
While other things stay the same
In burned out buildings
We huddle and hide and burrow
In attics and basements
We wait to fight
They're coming with
Flamethrowers, I did have
That vision so
I need to find the children
A guy in a bar wants to
-- I heard him right he wants to --
It's not you, **** it's good

And I'm still looking for you
The machines hover
Large explosions on horizons
Dusk in the huge back yard
Where it seems far away
But isn't so much anymore
And back in the city
Again looking for clean bathrooms
To tide us over
Until
Where are you
My lost children
Someone left
The back door
Open

In the city
Down long corridors
Across strange vistas
Up staircases and
In rooms of dark secrets
I look for you
And the children
And a place to hide

The calm life
Was a dream
Yes that was the dream
This being real
This being fear
Feb 2016 · 402
Slam
biche Feb 2016
Deserted and desperate so
often my stupid heart so
unbelievably different in aptitude
from my otherwise
smart and unconcerned mind.
Otherwise when you are
not involved.
Otherwise when you are
not just problems
better left unsolved.
I wonder which version
of me you think you love.
I'd bet on the **** --
but these days (...)
even that.
Guess I've hit
the proverbial
inevitable
instinctual
essential
incontournable
excruciatingly thick
wall against which
all us women are destined
to (slam)!
You can have the power as you conceive it. I do not wish to play that particular game. Some aspects of interaction may change as a result.
Feb 2016 · 319
Darling daugther
biche Feb 2016
Standing on the balcony
Holding her small hand
A velvet sky
Orion shining high
Her fragrant hair
Such wisdom in her chatter
She is our finest hour, my love.
Feb 2016 · 302
The Motives of a Man
biche Feb 2016
I'll be honest,
I am ravenous.
As a lady shouldn't be,
but as I most certainly have been -
since the forever of my time.

What I need, only you can give.
And you promised - yes, you did.
Without you, Elsewhere is but a dismal place
of dissatisfaction and dismay.
I'm not going where
there is no light of day.

It's your turn to see me,
flatter me - call me -
get hard for me -
show me - fill me up -
rough me around: all that stuff.
What the **** are you waiting for?
We're dying every day
and everything is grey
until we kiss.

I'm clamoring!
Confusion has me stammering!
I can barely ask the question,
and I will not
change positions.
I still trust my intuition...

I still lack all inhibition.

I'm still holding out hope
for this spiritual mission.


I'm still depending on you,
Oh, I am,
though I'm so tired
of trying to understand
the motives of a man.
Feb 2016 · 259
If I Told You
biche Feb 2016
If I told you I had the answer,
You'd challenge me, well then,
What is it?
I'd say: just listen.
You'd say: What?
And I would reply,
You have missed
The point.
And then you'd say, go ahead, I'm listening.
Jan 2016 · 540
The doctor will c u now
biche Jan 2016
There is no accounting
for taste, I believe Kant
came up with that.
Nor desire, I would add, as
by all accounts
my desire for you is way
beyond philosophy. No,
don't call me Doctor
when I'm naked. You,
I trust, know better
than me how to make
my body forget reason
and **** logic. Reversals
amid a hunger so
sweet we hum its tune
even as you reduce me
to the animal object of us.
My flesh quivers the way you like it.
And we come.
Jan 2016 · 507
Love To Return To
biche Jan 2016
It's a ******* man's world
(loathe as I am to admit
believing such deadly
chicanery - but, as
one might suspect,
the state of the world
is only this
Obvious  because
I am not a man).
The power I wield
just spurts out of
me uncontrolled, just
like its ******* counterpart,
my weakness.
Neither of those *******
garner much empathy -
let alone sympathy -
from the guys in my
small crowd.
Sure, "I need to get out more"
but luckily I know
better.
Other than power and might
and the weakness of fright
in the proverbial dark night
there is also (and always)
love to return to.
Jan 2016 · 903
The Color of Water
biche Jan 2016
Like the color of water
or the shape of a coastline
moods of the mind
are so ever-shifting as
to remain undefined
except for transient
triangulated amalgams
of perceptions that
are shared yet not
shared between eyes
of observers and the
other infinite
senses of beings
we may never meet.
Sometimes I can
catch a truth or two
despite the
slippery nature of
things...but then
time still passes and
such truths just won't
apply to you.
Somewhere a choice
is made, and it
just happens anyway.
Jan 2016 · 536
Chores
biche Jan 2016
The heaviness of it
affects us all.
Some days we rally -
others, we fall,
either wailing or
writhing or
scrubbing, scrubbing
it all
away, only
to begin again
the very next day.
In vain can we
try to stem the
tide, the body's needs
and wastes are
the simplest truths
from which we
cannot hide.
Again we cry, we wail.
Again! To no avail.
Dec 2015 · 411
Blunders
biche Dec 2015
Entitlement to the apology
likes to cry - O woe is me woe is me!
Hiding behind a stonewall tree -
your past and my present
raise their fists in triumph
while my heart crumbles,
bits of strength scattering
on the kitchen floor, while
gallons of the best
coffee merely stream
by the waste line.
Thoughts blipping -
nausea-inducing
twitches tripping the haywires. I'm ready
to escape now.
I don't want to stay
with the part of you that
refuses to be wrong.
Dec 2015 · 325
High Rise
biche Dec 2015
I don't ever want
to leave this place, so
clean and sparse
with a wide view
and restfulness like a
bed in the sky -
here we forget
so much toil,
sweat and sickness.
If they come again
so be it,
for now we have
this place and
ourselves, and us
again.
Soon we will feel
only the grace of
simplicity so that
all the wildness
in our souls can rejoice
unfettered -
out on the Lake.
Dec 2015 · 248
My Only
biche Dec 2015
You came back to me!
We are together again,
I can feel it
biche Dec 2015
One day you were
bargain-shopping
the next I was drowning
in your failures - oh!
I treaded water
for so long,
as I cursed my
weakness, hoping
you were doing it
for me - lifting me up.

A liberated woman
will liberate her daughter,
so I thought,
as the shackles clicked
around my ankles


It was not for me, and
as my steps became more
and more sluggish,
I knew it, but knowing
didn't help me then.

A great divide has
welled up this year
and though I have
never been so tired
(not even after
Surviving Childbirth
and Making It In
A Man's World)
it is time for the
Final Push.

I am so grateful
for the City's trash
collectors who, in 48 short hours
will save me from
ever looking at these
things again.

The Big Bonfire -
The Great Prayer -
Purge me!
Renew me!
I shall rise from these ashes
rich like a saint
and free from the bounds
you overstepped.

Even before he died, you began
to unravel as your own
mother's mind reverted and
suddenly you were fourteen
and angry again - lusting after
a world that required pants
you were not allowed
to wear.

I forgive you. I ask you to
stop lying to yourself and casting
first stones all over
my head.
He does not need
forgiveness.  I miss him instead.
Next page