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Ben Hickman Apr 2018
They tell me i'm crazy
That i'm a danger to myself
I won't do it again I promise them
No one listens

I'm taken to the hospital
They give me medicine and tell me to stay still
I do as they ask
But I wonder what I did to deserve this

They give me new clothes, scrubs, as some would call them
They show me to my room and I meet my roommate
He gets out in a day
I won't be so lucky

Its night time
I met everyone in the facility
No one ever shows a happy face
No one ever offers me love

I'm lying in bed
I notice how safe everything is
The beds made of plastic, rounded edges
I stare at the ceiling

I eventually fall asleep
I don't know what I was thinking to do so
But I was sound asleep
I dream of the last couple of days

I'm hanging out with my friends
They were never the nicest people
They gave me death threats
Told me to **** myself

One day they got to me
I had lost all hope of a future
So I found my ADHD medicine
And took every last pill

My parents found me the next day
Lying in bed, dazed and confused
I could barely move a muscle
So they called 911

I wake up and find myself in the hospital
I'm crying uncontrollably
My roommate looks at me and walks away
Why does no one care?

I get out of bed
I brush my teeth
They take my pulse
I eat my breakfast

They have a boring activity for us to do
Coloring children's books
They even bring the stress of your homework
Up into the hospital

The only "fun" thing we do
I when they bring us to the indoor track
I walk around the track and I meet a girl younger than me
She is bisexual just like me

We get along well and I thought for once i had an actual friend
But later I come to find out
That after you get out
Your not allowed to talk to them again

So everyday that gets closer to getting out I dread
Because it just means i'm closer and closer
To never seeing her face again
And losing the only real friend I have

The day finally comes
The doctors come and talk with me
They ask if I believe i'm ready to leave
I lie

I tell them I think i'm ready
I pack my clothes up
I brush my teeth one last time
And I go to say goodbye

But right when I look in her room
I see her smiling
Shes talking to her new roommate
I want to hug her

But we aren't allowed physical contact
So I turn around
And I leave
And I never come back
Personal experiences of a hospital mental ward
Ben Hickman Apr 2018
Within the darkness of the room. All I see is blank space. Or rather filled with the foulness of humanities evil and corruption. But deep inside that room. Within all the corruption, there is a light. A hope. A soul so pure and refined that it seems as though it would blind me with lust and impurity. But in fact it would cause all the darkness and dread in my life to vanish. Nothing remaining of them except distant memories. Just memories. No more could they hold me back. Make me want to hide myself from the world, lest I lose control and surrender to the impotent thoughts. And I see you now. And I know there is a way. A path. A hope. To escape the never ending pain and sorrow. All it takes is looking upon your seemless eyes. So beautiful and luminous that from miles away you could still see every tiny detail on them. I could gaze into your gorgeous pupils, that seem to be a never ending hole. But yet it's not a hole. Rather a way to your heart. The hope. Then there is your bright and shining hair. That flows like water in the breeze. It projects the light miles away to destroy the evil in this world. And then your smile... Which even these words defile how spectacular a sight it is. How they glow in the shade of the corruption. Breaking through them like a hammer on glass. Nothing can stop your smile from making any day special. And even with all these things. I don't need them to be happy and free from the corruption. All I need. Is the mere thought of you. And everything else disappears.
I wrote this when I had a crush on the most beautiful girl, and then I later realized that looks weren't everything.
Ben Hickman Apr 2018
I know this may be a special day to you. Maybe you would rather not celebrate it. But it's an important day none the less, as it's the day you came into this world. The day the world became a brighter and more vibrant place. A day someone caring and compassionate enough to always make me smile. even on the worst days of my life where I've lost all hope and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm about to give up, but you come to me like my guardian angel. You take me by the wrists and look into my eyes. You say something to me and I can see your lips moving but I hear nothing. But I can tell by the expression on your face and the smile that came afterward what you said. "you are special" Those words wander my mind till I finally find the meaning of them. I stop crying immediately, and I embrace you. Everything seems to melt away from the warmth of your touch. I no longer have a care in the world. So I go ahead and steal a kiss from you. I want you to have an amazing birthday. So this special time of the year I give to you as a gift, myself. To make you happy always. Because when you said "you are special" you were really saying "you are loved"
I wrote this a long time ago for someones birthday. if its your birthday today happy birthday!
Ben Hickman Apr 2018
In the prairies of the vast grasslands. To the outskirts of the dim, ominous forest. There is a creature like no other. A creature with legs as powerful as a freight train. A mane that flows as smooth as wheat in a gentle breeze. It's fur, soft and delicate. and a horn that is more majestic than a narwhales. A horn with magical properties. As much as I would desire to find such a creature. I don't need to. I already found you. With hair that flows smoother than the wheat. Eyes as magnificent as the stars. A personality as grand as the universe. But the only thing you are missing is a horn. So let me be your horn. And I'll show you the magic in life.
Ben Hickman Apr 2018
Every day I think of you.
No matter what it's nothing but you.
You enter my mind when I don't want it.
You wander my thoughts aimlessly.
No matter what I can't get the thought of you out of my head.
I love you but you don't love me.
We hate each other But yet the feelings are still the same.
I long and wait for the moments I have talking to you.
But you hate those moments.
And you hate me.
But I still love you the same.
Even though your never coming back I still long for you.
I wait in silence holding on to the hope that you'll forgive me.
But alas I'll be waiting forever.
Because you won't forgive and you'll never forget.
My first poem posted on here. I hope you enjoy!

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