there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.

some people never go crazy.
me, sometimes I'll lie down behind the couch
for 3 or 4 days.
they'll find me there.
it's Cherub, they'll say, and
they pour wine down my throat
rub my chest
sprinkle me with oils.
then, I'll rise with a roar,
rant, rage -
curse them and the universe
as I send them scattering over the
lawn.
I'll feel much better,
sit down to toast and eggs,
hum a little tune,
suddenly become as lovable as a
pink
overfed whale.
some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead.

I cut the middle fingernail of the middle
finger
right hand
real short
and I began rubbing along her ****
as she sat upright in bed
spreading lotion over her arms
face
and *******
after bathing.
then she lit a cigarette:
"don't let this put you off,"
an smoked and continued to rub
the lotion on.
I continued to rub the ****.
"You want an apple?" I asked.
"sure, she said, "you got one?"
but I got to her-
she began to twist
then she rolled on her side,
she was getting wet and open
like a flower in the rain.
then she rolled on her stomach
and her most beautiful ***
looked up at me
and I reached under and got the
**** again.
she reached around and got my
****, she rolled and twisted,
I mounted
my face falling into the mass
of red hair that overflowed
from her head
and my flattened **** entered
into the miracle.
later we joked about the lotion
and the cigarette and the apple.
then I went out and got some chicken
and shrimp and french fries and buns
and mashed potatoes and gravy and
cole slaw,and we ate.she told me
how good she felt and I told her
how good I felt and we
ate the chicken and the shrimp and the
french fries and the buns and the
mashed potatoes and the gravy and
the cole slaw too.

there is always somebody or something
waiting for you,
something stronger, more intelligent,
more evil, more kind, more durable,
something bigger, something better,
something worse, something with
eyes like the tiger, jaws like the shark,
something crazier than crazy,
saner than sane,
there is always something or somebody
waiting for you
as you put on your shoes
or as you sleep
or as you empty a garbage can
or pet your cat
or brush your teeth
or celebrate a holiday
there is always somebody or something
waiting for you.

keep this fully in mind
so that when it happens
you will be as ready as possible.

meanwhile, a good day to
you
if you are still there.
I think that I am---
I just burnt my fingers on
this
cigarette.

during my worst times
on the park benches
in the jails
or living with
******
I always had this certain
contentment-
I wouldn't call it
happiness-
it was more of an inner
balance
that settled for
whatever was occuring
and it helped in the
factories
and when relationships
went wrong
with the
girls.
it helped
through the
wars and the
hangovers
the backalley fights
the
hospitals.
to awaken in a cheap room
in a strange city and
pull up the shade-
this was the craziest kind of
contentment

and to walk across the floor
to an old dresser with a
cracked mirror-
see myself, ugly,
grinning at it all.
what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire.

The problem with Orange
Is nothing will rhyme
So instead of an Orange
I'll write about Lime.

We fall in love too quickly
*We’re inexperienced in this life
We know not of the hurt
Because the pain escapes our sight
We continue to get hurt
As we search for what is right
We’re all seeking happiness
So we give love another try

Grey clouds gather and I can see them reflected in your eyes.
Grey clouds gather as we lay under these skies.

The rain comes down, we run from it all.
The rain comes down, will you catch me if I fall?

I don't want to read too deep,
Into the things you do,
Or the things that I see at night when I sleep.

But it is hard when you practically said that you love me,
It is hard when I don't know what you want this to be.

Am I just wasting time? Waiting for the words to be said.
Or am I just wasting time, is it all in my head?

I am used to you pulling ahead,
We should have kissed long ago,
My soul feels like led.

But maybe it simply feels like a bird,
I am ready to fly,
Ready for my cry to be heard.

I am filled with joy and fear all at the same time
Is this beating heart even mine?

The rain came down, I felt so alive,
The rain came down, I like when we just drive.

I think I finally realize, you are my cup of tea,
Come on friend, come and cut me free.

Come pick my petals and kiss me quick,
Come make my heart explode and make me your pick.

If you fill up my cup, can I fill yours too?
As this rain pours down, tell it can be true.