odd, how an
ordinary evening
can turn
miraculous
when you've had
a bit too much
to drink
and your woman
is very beautiful
poised against
the unexpected snow
that makes
everything shine

   ~mce

when i wear
a suit
i look like
exactly
the kind
of old man
who would
wear a suit,
the kind
of old man
i almost
was
but never
became.

   ~mce

The lonely
That's what I am
That's who I am
That's what we are
Dead
Well
That's what they said

I want to
sleep with you in the most innocent possible way.

I want to lay my head in your lap or perhaps yours in mine and I want to nod off until you tell me let's go, it's time for bed. I want to walk to your room half asleep and plop down on your king sized bed and fall asleep immediately. I want you to rearrange me so that I am underneath the white linen comforter and I eventually hog all of the blankets. I want you to finally settle down and move in close to me, closer than should be humanly possible. I want you to bury yourself in my hair and wrap your arms around my waist as you feel me breathe ocean currents.  I want to wake up in the middle of the night and wake you up and tell you that I love you and you'll reply I love you too groggily. I'm going to kiss your cheek and lay close to you.

the beer bottle
falling over
and shattering
before it is reached
is its own
master.

remain
a stench
on the floor
in the morning.

paved hands.

sewage tunnels
cleaning through
the body.

a spirit sways inside.

a 'modern' school building
with 'modern' ideas
(and 95% of the pregnant
and the drop-outs and the
suicidal and the desperate
pushed under the
carpet instead of
given help)

a balanced curriculum
everything your child
needs
(except love and affection
and life skills and how
to treat other people
without behaving like
a *******)

there's dozens of school clubs
the gospel choir's won
awards
(though you'll hear more of a
holy chorus of '*****' from the lips of the
******* goddamners)

and our school reputation is
propped up on results
(but exams mean nothing
because when you're dead
who's going to care how
much ink you scrawled in
just the right patterns on
your blank sheet of paper?)

all students are valued
equally, of course
(but definitely not by
the other students because
who wants to see that art
freak's drawings on Instagram
when he didn't even get invited
to that last big
party?)

all boys and girls are given
equal opportunity
(except when a bench needs
lifting, or they're transgender)

and our school uniform dress
code applies to everyone
(but if you're a guy and your
forearms are distracting someone
don't worry, you won't be asked
to cover them up)

all bullying is dealt with
swiftly and without prejudice
(unless the kid being bullied is
black or muslim because then
for some reason it's a whole
different story)

and all subjects here are treated
with equal merit and available
to everyone
(but if you're taking woodwork
then you're thick, or drama then you're
queer)

speaking of equality, the school's an
lgbt+ safe zone
(but don't even think about
being openly into the same ***
or someone's going to smash
your face in)

because we're a 'modern' school
with 'modern' ideas
(but if someone tries to tell you otherwise
then they're telling the
truth
and it's worth being friends with
them)

Everything in the world is Black and White, not Gray
Depression kills you on the inside in every single way
Parents don't hear their children cry in the middle of the night
Don't notice the scars and wounds from the battles that they try to fight
Teens are forced to attend prison, a personal hell
Zombies throughout the day, controlled by multiple bells
Going home to the drinking and the screams
Yelling that they're worthless, won't achieve their dreams