She's dark, yet
moonlight glows
inside her soft-eyes
& despite her
tragic-aura,
I still want
her blackness,
to taste her magic,
to kiss
the devil inside her.

It's the little things that make me feel alive.

Like watching my pulse beat through my body.

Or driving with the windows open.

Or watching someone laugh harder than they ever have before.

Or seeing the look in someone's eyes as they stare at you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to them.

Or that adrenaline rush as you drop from the top of a roller coaster.

I want to run free because that would make me feel more alive than ever.

And I never want to stop because I don't want to stop feeling alive.

So this is me, falling in love with strangers-
With only their words to guide me.

If I was fine I wouldn't be going to the hospital 2 or 3  times a week,
If I was fine I wouldn't be going to physiotherapy,
If I was fine I wouldn't have hearing loss,
If I was fine I wouldn't have to wear on eyepatch every night,
If I was fine I would be able to concentrate for longer,
If I was fine my memory wouldn't let me down,
If I was fine it wouldn't take me twice as long to write work for college as it used to,
If I was fine tears wouldn't flow from just one eye,
If I was fine I wouldn't be going to rehabilitation,
If I was fine I would be living life like I used to but I'm not.
Stop saying I'm fine.