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ardnaxela Jun 2020
if i woke up this morning and decided to off myself
for the first time in my life
i'd be putting myself first.
ardnaxela May 2020
I don't like
the shrill excitement of sirens
warning me of what's to come.
I would prefer
melancholy raindrops
tapping hints into my window from the sun.
I can go without a quick start
with the false hope of an emergency.
Please, just lift me gently
and promise me that there's no urgency
when you wake me for the day.
alarms just don't do it for me these days.
ardnaxela May 2020
Normally,
I am well-guarded.
When it came to you,
there was oversight.

I had walls built up to the sky.
Someone threw you a rope -
maybe it was me? Who knows,
But I allowed you to climb
the bricks of my mind,
meticulously placed and cemented with time.
I even went out my way and laid
a ladder against the other side.

A struggle indeed,
but you mastered the feat.
But then there was trouble
when you got to the peak..
I don't know
maybe you got too high.
Maybe I'm just
too consumed with fright.
I don't know,
but you hesitated.
Then you tripped.
In a panic, I kicked
away the rescue
And that's when you
fell down and missed..
hit the ground - but untouched?!
So then guess what?
You got up and brushed
away the debris..
Not even a scratch;
only my soul was crushed.
I'm left in defeat and
even more shattered trust.
Because
yes, I am guarded
but I've already shown you too much.
it was good until it wasn't.
ardnaxela May 2020
sweetheart
if you're street smart..
you'll never have to worry
about these ****** playing you
I've had my fair share of
bug-a-boos
thinking they can impress me
with a band or 2

the price of *****?
same as the price of happiness
just depends on who you're asking..
Unpublished draft from January 2019.
ardnaxela May 2020
how many hearts did you have to break
before you finally made it to mine?
Unpublished draft from June 2018.
ardnaxela May 2020
and if that diamond ring turns brass
and I'm forced to go through the looking glass
what the **** do you expect me to see?

i've been trying to turn a blind eye
to the images of my tv
but when i turn on my phone
they're still reflected back at me

i only wanted to take a selfie
now i'm getting clowned on IG
cause of that fake *** diamond ring
and you wonder why my mentality
isn't quite what they'd call "happy"
unpublished draft from April 2019
The world is a poem written in dreams
Daily reminders, packed with rhyme schemes
Through the past, and the present, and future in parts;
Each vying for Truth in good and dark hearts.

So lift up your pen and use it with grace
Erase the flaws and weaknesses of the human race
Should we all contribute but one single verse
I’ll write on your heart if you write on mine first.

But be careful not to write too hard,
For it might pierce the skin
And leave a big scar, for the hearts skin is thin
Be gentle and kind as you would want done onto you
Because the piercing of the heart can seep all the way through
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