The intensity you scream
         is a hard pill to swallow
The density of your brain
         makes you hard to follow
Like wading through a creek,
         your mind's so shallow
Skimming through the mud,
         your thoughts have no flow
Up river without a paddle,
         now you got nowhere to go

sometimes you just feel ugly: inside and out. and there's nothing you can do about it. no amount of makeup can mask your insecurity and no empty laughter can disguise it. you feel desperately and utterly helpless to the demons in your mind whispering, "you are not enough, you will never be enough." and your brain is yelling and your heart is thumping and your feet are running but you
are
smiling.
why?
because that's what you've always done.

you always asked me
not to break your heart
what kind of sick joke
was that?

i know we live in florida and there's not much change in the seasons but october came and with it, a slight breeze and i'd like to think that's what you are to me. you didn't chill me to the core but you provided a wave of relief. i didn't need someone to alter my being, just to hold my hand as i did it myself. and with that slight change in the weather, you changed me a little. so let's cuddle in your sweater until it hits midday, then we can go for a swim and as we peel off layers of clothing maybe let's peel off the masks we show to the world and be raw and reckless human beings.

i never thought i'd be the idiot,
the hopeless romantic
i should have know
you've swept too many girls off their feet
how could you possibly be strong enough
to carry me?

sometimes you just realize
forever means nothing
and good-byes determine everything
and words are empty
hearts are too
and love is a distraction
and happiness is irrational
and all hope is lost
and
nothing
is
eternal

Whether I'm the first person you think of
when you open your eyes in the morning
Or the last person you would choose to call
in an emergency of sheer panic
At least I am running through your mind at all
And I will keep running.

you told me i was your home
and then you moved out
but you didn't even pack
you left your things lying all around
as if to tease me by saying,
"I'll be back"
we both know you won't
you already bought new things
and found someone else to unpack them with

it's funny how
a complete stranger noticed
i was more than just tired
before you did