Behind the twinkle of your gaze
Past the walls you so fervently constructed
At times,
I see your pain
I feel the anguish in your eyes
The quivering of your lip quickly forced away by a misplaced grin
Surrounded by the emptiness of this void we call life
I wish nothing more than to hear those alluring three words
The glow you radiate envelopes any room
Your smile casts any doubt I have in life
How can someone be so incredible?
I am the lucky one
You show how utterly beautiful life can be
That this existence is not some random succession of meaningless events
With you,
life takes shape
life retains hope

Life has meaning.

Everytime I say "Goodnight"
I think "I love you." but never say it
And I don't know if I ever will
I wish I had the courage to
But my nerve fails and I delete the message
I write these poems hoping that you'll get the meaning
But I don't know if you even read them
I wish I was a bolder person
But if I was bolder, would you still like me?
My heart aches for you, but I can't know if you feel the same
I could ask but I fear that you would run away
What would you do? Would you run? Would you stay?
Questions like these plague my mind
Do they plague yours? Or are you just oblivious?
Thoughts like these race through my mind
They are the reasons why I don't say
"I love you" when I say "Goodnight"

I
don't want to
exist.
In
a
love-less
lust-lost
home either.

Let's run-run-run
run-away
to better
days.

Run away
from everything,
from everyone
to everywhere
and anywhere.

We deserve to look outside
the windows of a home,
not
a
half-orphan-orphanage.

The sun is shining somewhere.
Let's
go
sulking in the sunlight.
<3

You lost my
mind while it
lay in a pocket of
spring

           sprung up like it's
           rancid, quick thinking
           held on to

a half frozen pinkie,
three-fourths of a
day

Every once in a while,
I'd just like some one to smile
and ask if I'm okay.

Every once in a while
I'd just like someone to smile
and kiss my scars goodnight.

Every once in a while
I'd just like someone to smile
and hold me in the coldest nights.

Every once in a while
I'd just like you to smile
and tell me you love me
and that our world together
will never end
as long as we're alive.

Next time you tell me to go away
I'll show you just how good I am at disappearing
You just haven't stuck around long enough for the
vanishing act
You have the audacity to
say my name tastes like filth
But have you ever thought
that the source of your uncleanliness
was born somewhere in your lung's
and made its way up your throat
I can taste that
when I kiss you
No wonder everything turn's to grit
in your mouth
You have the stones
to say
you're an insomniac
But there's a difference between
not wanting to sleep
and not being able to
And your hands wouldn't shake so much
if you didn't drink so much coffee
and you wouldn't look so tired
If you smiled once in a while
and your breath wouldn't taste
or smell
or look
like ****
if you didn't smoke
100 packets a day.
So you have the audacity to tell me
"Well, baby the truth hurts."
In that southern drawl
With eyes so animated
I wonder which movie star you're impersonating now
After four months of Kurt Cobain
I've had enough of your angst and love letters
And I'd love to lay
my hands against your throat
and let you feel the threat
of life
draining away
But I know you would just smile
and rack your brain
for a quote from a movie you have stored somewhere
away

I write letters to God and burn them;
the smoke is my prayer.
Each day brings salty cheeks
and a recurring headache,
the circular path of pain
that storms in my head.
Lightning strikes my nerves
and thunder shakes my shell.
The two are cackling twins
guiding me on the path to Hell.
I've led myself here, and they know it.
Fire and smoke are my hope,
burning scrawl is merely history,
and wounds are only moments
that will cease to be.