Andrew Durst: Poems

Jul 2014 · 731

Imagery

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Imagery

Maybe one day
you and I
will figure all of
this out.

And maybe the
images flowing
in your mind
will incarcerate
themselves
into my heart.

I love someone,
And they will never be mine.

Jul 2014 · 773

"On the Bro's."

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

"On the Bro's."

Nothing
surpasses
staying up
until
five a.m
with an
opportunity
to be a
good
friend.

My 200th post goes to my friends. Wrote this on 5/26/14. A fun night.

Jul 2014 · 708

Six Years. (And no longer counting)

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Six Years. (And no longer counting)

For about six years,
I haven't been able to control my emotions.
For about six years,
I've struggled to wake-up in the mornings without wanting to change who I am.
For about six years,
I have given-up every single poistive thing about me
because I am hooked.
For about six years,
I thought I was cool.
For about six years,
I thought my life was riding high on "Cloud-9"
For about six years,
I've been dependent on any chemical that will alter my mind.
For about six years,
I've struggled to look at my own reflection.
For about six years,
I've made my family cry and push me away.
For about six years,
I've watched friends come and go.
For about six years,
I've been lying to the people I love.
For about six years,
My life has been nothing but a blur.

For about six years,
I've wanted to stop.

And today
will be
that
day.

Addiction is a disease and I'll be ****** to let anyone tell me differently.

Jul 2014 · 553

Last night,

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Last night,

I could have really used a shoulder to lean on;
Even though I was at home,
I still managed to feel completely alone.
And as I lied there, with thoughts about suicide and everything I've done wrong racing through my brain,
I never once bothered to make a call.

Now I'm not entirely certain as to why I never reached out to anyone when I needed someone the most.
I'm just starting to believe that maybe no one would had even cared,
at all.

Jul 2014 · 537

"Now."

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

"Now."

I'm the dust caught in the wind
Another raindrop upon your skin.
All the words that you couldn't say,
Another scar that I can't erase.
It's not the same, no, it's nothing like the past,
I can't help myself from always looking back.
I wanna live again in those better days,
I swear I can't stand how time makes everything change.

I guess this is to the past,
I guess this is to growing up,
Those were the best summers I ever had,
Now it feels like it's closing the door on us.
Where will you be when I need you "now"?
how will you be able to hear me call your name?
Can't you feel me reaching out?
I'll do anything to make you stay.

May 14th, 2014.

Jul 2014 · 798

Giving up

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Giving up

seems like
the
best
idea.

I'm not
going
anywhere,
and I'm
a fool
for
trying
every
****
day.

May 16th, 2014.

Jul 2014 · 948

Hard times.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Hard times.

Maybe the
hard times
are over.
Or maybe
they've just
begun.

All I know is;
I have to keep
finding hope
in every tomorrow,
and inspiration
from all of
my yesterday's.

Feeling inspired.

Jul 2014 · 450

You're better than that...

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

You're better than that...

How would you
like it
if I did to you
what
you have
done to me?

I bet that you
wouldn't be laughing.

But I will not spite those who have done me wrong.

Jul 2014 · 922

The Gray.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

The Gray.

Some nights,
I just feel so small...
And I don't know
what to do
with myself.

I don't know whether or not
I should laugh
or have a really good cry.

I feel like a gray area
trapped in such
a beautifully colored world.

Stuck in the middle of my emotions.

Jul 2014 · 719

Truth.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Truth.

All I needed
was to hear
the truth...
And you spoke it.

For this,

I am
grateful.

Jul 2014 · 1.2k

And I bet

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

And I bet

you're starting
to get
sick of
me calling
you
beautiful all the
time.

I just never
know what
to say after
getting lost
in your
eyes.

#love #eyes #lost #speechless

Jul 2014 · 602

Miles.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Miles.

I don't want
to say
goodbye
and it's too
**** hard
to accept the
the fact
that the only
time you'll
ever be
able to make
me laugh
again
is over
a phone
when you're on the
other side of the country.

To my good friend Jamie. I'm going to miss you like hell.

Jul 2014 · 559

The Comedown

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

The Comedown

I've spent all night lying here counting sheep.
And I haven't slept in what feels like five ******* weeks.
I'm trying my best to accept that I have lost control.
And I've been staring from the bottom of this bottle for far too long.

I can feel my heart trying to beat right out of my chest.
I swear I've done this all before but I still can't seem to rest.
And I'm trying so **** hard to see just how you feel about me now...
Yeah, how do you feel about me now?

Jul 2014 · 443

Kings and Queens.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Kings and Queens.

I fell in
    love with you
    during a
    game of
    cards...
                         You played a
                         queen of spades
                         and I played a
                         king of hearts.
You may have
lost this hand,
But you gained
mine.
                        So I will
              forever hold
        you by
my side.

Jul 2014 · 1.1k

Thankful.

Andrew Durst Jul 2014

Thankful.

From time-to-time I struggle to find
the "glimpse of hope"
that we all need.

That single moment of serendipity.

But all of my struggles and all of my pain seem so worth it
by the end of every day.

Because my loved ones pick me up whenever I take a fall.
And until the day I die
they'll have my back through it all.

And I will always return the favor.

Jun 2014 · 607

Out The Window

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Out The Window

My plans
don't usually
work out -
I'm okay with that-
but the idea
of sulking in my ****
will drive me mad.

So, like everything
else in life:

I'm just going to
say "**** it."

Jun 2014 · 618

The Deep End.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

The Deep End.

Sometimes,
I just feel really low...

And I can't make sense
of anything
good until
it's standing
    in
    my
    way.

I just wish I could feel positive more often... But I guess we all have our moments (and days) of negativity.

Jun 2014 · 544

Selfish

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Selfish

I was told to
always
be
honest.
          But you wouldn't
      have cared if
      my words
      were
      true
         anyways.

You only needed
      me to
make yourself
      feel
    beautiful.

Wrote this last month (5, 9, 2014)

Jun 2014 · 894

Gift (15w)

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Gift (15w)

When every sound
becomes silent
and my eyes
become useless,

You'll
find me
going
mad.

Sight and sound.
We take them for granted.

Jun 2014 · 701

B-side

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

B-side

I want to be your
favorite song
on the B-side
of and old record.

                And I want to
    inspire you
to tap your feet.

                  The same way you
make my heart thump
         in an off-tempo beat.

Enjoy the random flow
In a good mood so why not.

Jun 2014 · 1.2k

Seventeen (II)

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Seventeen (II)

I often find
       myself in
                situations
      where I feel
                   as if I'm running
out of time.

           but I've realized that I'm
only seventeen...

              And time is all
      I
       really
           have.

Jun 2014 · 1.2k

A familiar situation.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

A familiar situation.

The sun and flowers
didn't seem to
shine today.
But the smile
upon my face
did.

Sometimes things don't always go as planned.
But that shouldn't prevent you from having a good day!
Make the best of every situation!
Although it's easier said than done,
it sure as hell won't hurt to try!

#sun #hope #flowers #smile #joy #optimism #ease

Jun 2014 · 1.8k

Optimism.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Optimism.

I don't know where
        I'm going
    or quite exactly
            where I want to be.

             I just know that
my feet keep moving,
                  my heart keeps beating,
      and there's nothing
              standing
            in my way.

Jun 2014 · 1.3k

Monday Morning.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Monday Morning.

Today marks another day that I woke up.
One more day I was able to smell the scent of fresh cut grass and early June.
      Where I was able to feel the gentle friction from these cotton sheets.
See the sun glistening through my blinds.
     Listen to the birds sing and my ceiling-fan hum a tune while all the air brushes down upon me in patterned strokes.
    Today marks another day where I am able to make sense of things.
Like the bold taste of coffee,
and a well-timed cigarette.

I often hear of people being stressed out;
Being so caught-up in this day-to-day "rat-race" we call life that they "can't find the time" to do what they love.
And every time I think about this, I find myself left with the same questions:
Is this really what "life" is all about?
How are we supposed to LIVE and BE FREE if we can't find a way to take a breather every once-and-a-while?
To escape off into our heads or into our passions?
What is a life if you don't know expression?
Why have a voice if you never bother to speak?
If you feel something-
If you love it.
Then let it move you even in the most simplistic of ways.
Find time to stop and realize that this life is a gift.
No one asks to be born and no one wants to be taken away.
We need to appreciate every day and everything we have.
We'll never know when we could literally lose it all.

Jun 2014 · 2.0k

Atmosphere (II)

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Atmosphere (II)

Maybe we can kiss the sky
until the sun sets and fall
like ashes into the ocean
from burning up in the
sunburst colored atmosphere.

and as steady as
   the sky
        the stars,
             the sun and
                     the moon.
I swear my heart will beat for you.

Feeling a flow.

Jun 2014 · 2.8k

Taking selfies with a hand-grenade

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Taking selfies with a hand-grenade

It seems that
arrogance and ego
have a way
of
blowing-up
in our
faces.

-Andrew Durst
6-11-14

Jun 2014 · 972

Cancer.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Cancer.

I breathed you in
like the smoke from my
last cigarette;
it was bitter-sweet
to taste you on my lips.
And although I never had anything
all-that-useful to say,
I'd like for it to be known
that I still
love you.

even if your cancer
is metastasizing
in my
heart.

Enjoy the random idea.

Jun 2014 · 1.8k

Exposure.

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Exposure.

Your eyes
are dark and
dull...

I could've
sworn they
were bright blue
when we
first
met.

Time has this ability.

Jun 2014 · 859

Places|Things|Time

Andrew Durst Jun 2014

Places|Things|Time

I've been to a
fair amount of
places
and
I've witnessed
my fair share
of things.

But I still
can't fathom
the concept
of
*time.

May 2014 · 661

Insomnia.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Insomnia.

Trying to sleep
is growing
tiresome
and
the voices
in the back
of my mind
still seem
really
******
off.

I've had writers block these past several days

May 2014 · 848

Tried (6w)

Andrew Durst May 2014

Tried (6w)

****...

     well....

  yeah....

Maybe
    I
     could've

May 2014 · 374

Inspiration (7w)

Andrew Durst May 2014

Inspiration (7w)

Interests
bare
questions
only
inspiration
can
answer.

May 2014 · 616

Impatience.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Impatience.

It's amusing how
guys my age
line up for a
female
as if she was
the last piece
of *** on earth.

The right things
come with time.

Impatience is not
a virtue
by any means,
so don't be
shocked
when she drops you
like a bad habit.

Is this rude of me to say?
Whoops.

May 2014 · 713

Perfect.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Perfect.

I live for the moments of pure joy. Those moments of sheer ecstasy.
Where everything is not just fine; it's borderline-perfect.
It reminds me that I am alive and well.
That hope still lies around the corner no matter how many times I trip on this uneven sidewalk.
I cherish every laugh and smile my loved ones bring me. And I want them to know that they are the
only reason
I still wake up in the morning.
A thank you just isn't good enough and will never compare to what they have done and still continue to do for me.

May 2014 · 549

When I grow up

Andrew Durst May 2014

When I grow up

I want to be rich
with joy,

and I want to have
a job that
pays me
more
than what I'm worth-
and
that currency
will be
loyalty and respect.

Only in my dreams

May 2014 · 1.2k

the outcome

Andrew Durst May 2014

the outcome

I don't care
what your
intentions or
concerns
may be.

At this point,

I no longer
want to be
a part
of your
outcome.

May 2014 · 702

Shortcut to dedication.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Shortcut to dedication.

I looked for dedication
in the shortcuts
of my mind.
and only found
inspiration
from the things
I can't define.

May 2014 · 446

Undertow

Andrew Durst May 2014

Undertow

I tried to swim;
yeah,
I tried to survive.

But your
waves of deceit
ate me
alive.

Trying to stand while everyone's telling me to sit.

May 2014 · 403

15w// Go for it (you won't)

Andrew Durst May 2014

15w// Go for it (you won't)

Doubt me,
hate me,
resent me.

Prove to me
that I was
right all
along.

May 2014 · 506

Brought up.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Brought up.

You should be kind
for the sake of being kind.
Not because a higher power
told or asked of you to do so.

Treat others
the way you want
to be treated.

We were taught this back in
Kindergarten,
so why is it so difficult
for people to understand?

May 2014 · 319

To each their own.

Andrew Durst May 2014

To each their own.

My choices
are my
choices.
      I'm not expecting
      everyone
      (or anyone)
to understand
      why
or
      how.
I just ask
that you'd
please keep your
comments
       to yourself.

May 2014 · 2.0k

Rhyming words

Andrew Durst May 2014

Rhyming words

Pink lip-stick on the **** of a cigarette,
You breathe me in and I can't forget.
You taste like ecstasy but feel like regret,
And love should never feel like a constant threat.

Inspired by a cigarette I saw on the side of the road.

May 2014 · 445

Steps.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Steps.

Everything you ever wanted;
everything you ever dreamt about.
They're all just sitting
at the top of
the stair-case
         that we call
                    this life...

         All you
      have to
   do is
step.

May 2014 · 772

Opinionated (5w)

Andrew Durst May 2014

Opinionated (5w)

People
don't
change;

opinions
do.

May 2014 · 370

Nowhere Fast.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Nowhere Fast.

Giving up
seems like
the
best
idea.

I'm not
going
anywhere,
and I'm
a fool
for
trying
every
****
day.

May 2014 · 1.0k

Misplaced.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Misplaced.

If home is
where the
heart is,
then why
do I feel
so misplaced
when I walk
through the
front door?

Sick of this feeling

May 2014 · 1.4k

"Guap" (20w)

Andrew Durst May 2014

"Guap" (20w)

What would
the world be like
if we could
pay people
with
change
instead of the
contents
of our
wallets?

Random idea again.

May 2014 · 2.4k

Understand.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Understand.

Life is just
life
and everything
else
is what you make
of
it.

            do not be afraid
                 of what you
            do not yet
      understand.

May 2014 · 498

Clueless.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Clueless.

I like to
    pretend
that
I have things
    all figured-out...

Because    most    of
             the    time,
                    I don't.

May 2014 · 1.8k

Devastated.

Andrew Durst May 2014

Devastated.

I watched my father kneel down on one knee over his parent's graves today.
      The stillness of the air
     was far greater than the few little
words that could have been spoken.
After a moment, he rose with a sigh,
wiping away several tears before
they could even leave his eyelashes.
     It was the first time I ever realized,
that one day,
  I too would be kneeling
over my parents,
devastated and speechless,
      leaving generations behind me
      with nothing more than
                   a faint
                          sigh.

Been a while since I've cried, it was strange to me.