No matter how long I’ve been next to you
I say hi
you’re a wonderful person to say hello to

I adore the phrase
The shape of my mouth when I say it,
with final 't's in a hushed tone

All I imagine from it
I want to write poems
Sing songs
Dance
Take photos
Make love

Vulnerable
Colored leaves, cracked
Holding fiercely onto a tree
Autumn

Delicate hand holding
Of the elderly couple
See the lines, wrinkles,
Years of pain; happiness too

Frail
As her wrists and her limbs, lithe
Yet the quiet grace as she moves

Dainty fingernails and toenails
Of an infant
Silent, asleep, innocent

Brittle as the windows
Of the past.

Sometimes you set me on fire
But it’s not burning, it a small tea light candle
But it pokes me and prods me
Hurts my fingertips
In the best kind of way
I worry I like you more than you like me
And that’s not a bad thing
But I don’t think it’s a good thing
Because I like you in all the ways
That people think I should love you
But is that love?
What is love?
And is that something I want?
If you care about me more than I can feel
Or say
Is that enough?
What is enough?
Enough kisses? Hugs?
Enough time holding hands?
Enough times waking up with you,
falling asleep too?
We tip toe around the word
And I don’t mind
Should I mind?
What does it mean to care about someone?
Or to care for someone?
I’m deeply in like with you
And I know this because
I feel completely free with you,
Free to talk, laugh, dance
I cannot explain how much I like that you dance with me
Even if it’s for a quick moment.
I don’t think straight sometimes
You make me think of everything
I want your honesty and mind
Thoughts, and I so want you to be a person
Because I think that’s all I really want in life
(Isn’t that all everyone wants?)
To be a person but with another person?
Because we all are looking for something, usually someone
To be ourselves with

Memory—a picture not taken.

I envy you
How you so eloquently manipulate words
The brilliant vocabulary you have
I wish I could
Instead, I pour over your thoughts
Wondering how you do it
How it is so natural
Then again
They are just words
And I still don’t know a **** thing about you

There are two things that comfort
Let’s see if you figure it out
They consume me, lock me in
It’s terrifying

They are both the darkness and the light
It makes me come alive and is safe
It traps me, drowns me
I’m not scared

It’s full of ecstasy, gasping for air
It can fill up any space
There is some panic
It subsides

Feel the rain, feel the beat
The screams, sounds
The clean, the cold
Comfortable

I’m not sure why it fills me
I’m drowning in it all
I just take the leap
Let it happen

It’s freeing, gets rid of all the pain
The kind that no one can see
Washes out the night
All that remains is melody

Somewhere in the distance
I see you standing there
You’re laughing
I wish I were laughing too

Your smile takes my breath
Away I’ll go
And inside I’m screaming
But you won’t hear it

Under the lakes and rivers
Are the silent sounds
The aches are drowned out
The rest is perfect noise

Because underwater
You can’t see the tears I’ve cried
Or hear the screams I hide
But just you wait

Til I breathe
To sing out the words
That I always need to say
The ones I keep hidden

You’ll hear them, someday
When the storm is gone
And the air is clear
Listen

All I needed
Was for you
To
Listen

There is such a lack,
an incredible lack
of words to describe
how you make me feel

There is not a word for

shared annoyance
of errors,
rules of the English language.
reading a sentence that makes little sense
to confirm someone doesn’t know how to grammar

staying up ’til 3, 4, 5
to discuss simplicities and complexities,
they felt like the most important things.
Sleep is not an important thing.

joy of seeing you with a smile
rushed banters
sarcasm, conditions, laughter, and silly faces.
Silent promise to see you later

inability to walk and tell you something
at the same time.
Here is my brain, make of it what you will.
Thank you for trusting me with yours.

spaces between sleep
and getting up for the day.
Time, (what is time?)
holding, tickling, touching, skin

pretending to leave,
only to crawl back in
to your embrace, warm,
watching you rest.

your hands
that I can’t not touch.
Not because you need it,
but I do.  I hope that’s okay.  

hugs I don’t want to end,
silent or not. Close,
being next to you is the safest,
most comfortable, peaceful place to be

spontaneity and uncertainty
kiss you good-bye?
or just wink, either is fine
it’s not complacent

I don’t have to write
because I can say the words to you.
I have the words
to be a person,
with you

If you find words for all these,
I don’t I want them
I’d rather have to fully describe them and,
even then,
it would not be enough
to define the noticings and pieces
I like about you