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 Jun 2018 alwaystrying
Lemon
Drop the knife
Put away the gun
Don't take your life
Soon there'll be sun

I know all too well
How hard you must try
Not to scream and to yell
How much you want to cry

I know your secret
I feel just the same
I promise I'll keep it
I won't set it aflame

It burns like a *****
When you take a shower
The pain makes you twitch
The red blooms like a flower

Don't try to hide it
Don't feel ashamed
They'll throw a fit
People will be blamed

Don't be upset
It's not your fault
Don't cry just yet
Their whispers will halt

I know it's addicting
I've done it before
Truly it's restricting
Hiding it's a chore

It feels like heaven
When it goes down your arm
Nine, ten, now eleven
It all works like a charm

I know it works well
I've felt it too
But it's a path down to hell
Only stoppable by you

"It will get better"
I say this to myself
Say it letter by letter
Now to yourself

Don't cry tonight
Wait for the sun
Put up fight
The battle has yet to be won

Drop the knife
Put away the gun
Don't take your life
Soon there'll be sun
I wrote this for myself and a friend but I'm not showing it to her
 May 2018 alwaystrying
Jean
a boy made of moonlight
a girl sinking in sun
the cosmos their hometown
the stars are their ghosts
running from what they have known

but when they meet
all the stars disappeared
only them in the cosmos
and nothing but themselves to fear
 May 2018 alwaystrying
Specs
If you start to yell and scream,
Count on me to freeze.
I can't take anger directed at me,
I was born with a disease to please.

Average grades are shameful here.
No more B's and C's.
"Good" is just not good enough
When you have a disease to please.

I know people who pass through life,
Jumping hurdles with ease.
I tell myself "not high enough,"
Thanks to my disease to please.

Emotions take more than fair
In situations like these.
I'm completely drained, robbed, ****** dry
From my disease to please.

All this pressure takes its toll,
Constantly, I feel my heart squeeze.
Breaths are rapid, running short,
And I'm dying from my disease.
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