I’ll hate the way I breathe till I taste your skin
And vaporize my longing within
To shadowed withdrawals, never has-been’s and never-will be’s.
I will make myself sick gazing into your multi colored, screen broken eyes
And stutter when you picture yourself in the gift I made you
Like I was a god, who handed you honey
To make you seem so dripping sweet.
I nearly drove off road to see your car
Parked where it always was, always will be
At least in my head, so I don’t fathom you changing,
But I stayed light
Painted my walls with lies and trapped your letters in a box
To show that I did possess restraint.
Yet all I can see is me, selfish in wanting and needing
Not respecting your box of loneliness,
Or whatever you have accomplished without my guidance.
I still crave the day you realize you were wrong,
While still mourning how horrid not truly knowing you was.