I long for the time,
when you are not “you”,
or “she” or “he”, or any
of the words I write. Not a hint,
not sign of you being “you”,
in each line “you” appears, it will not be you.
And I have found a new definition
of “she” or “he”, not even
the shadows of my words
would tell you that it’s “you”.

And in that day that it’ll come,
I’ll look back at this piece
of prayer, that my “you”,
will not be *you

It's four in the morning, and I'm still in the same place.
In the same position.
In the universe of a thousand light years away from yours.
At the moment I do not feel anything.
That panic that radiated through my every pore
When when you left this afternoon
Merged with the walls of smoke that are slowly drenching
Stripped window glass.
You went forever.
I can not remember where.
My mind was preoccupied with memories of your hair,
The way you eat an orange
And of your eyes of the color of seaweed and the trees that are sunking into the sunset.
Separation went peacefully.
In the manners of black and white films that I can not stand.
You never asked me why.
You left me in silence,
Not even looking back while I watched from the window
How your dress crumpled while you were entering the cab.
Since then, I have no courage to walk through the apartment
Because every corner exudes with you,
Each object is wearing your fingerprint.
I wonder if I'll ever move from this place,
Make that first step without you.
Now officially.
I'm not bitter, I'm not afraid nor angry.
In fact, I feel empty.
Empty like the aquarium, which we stored in the closet
Once you gave our goldfish to your sister.
Maybe I'd feel better if the separation was more dramatic,
With some broken object and with slamming doors.
At least I'd feel something.
Anger, sadness, desire for revenge.
Any feeling that would force me to move on,
To not become a plant and to not stay
Frozen in time and space.
Quiet goodbyes are making you think
Of the things you want to forget forever,
Like your almond scent
And arm movements while you are shaking off cigarette ash.
If that separation was restless
I would do something now, maybe even sleeping.
I would not know the number of sunflowers on your dress
As you entered the cab
And at least I would once again hear your voice
While you would scream, cry
Or laughed at me in the face.
I can not stand quiet goodbyes.
You never asked me why.

Everytime we get pick and mix
I choose strawberry cables.
I know they were your favourite
At least, they were when I loved you

I make them last
Slowly teasing and *******
Gentle teeth and lips
Because I know I will never get to give that to you

The hour has stricken,
He has been found.
No longer breathing,
Lying there wet as can be.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

Facebook slowly starts to rise,
When I see rest in peace dear boy.
Nothing will be the same,
Two people in two months.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

Slowly declining in breath,
My heart breaks in two.
It hurts to live right now,
Knowing you’ll never be back.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

Wishing you could come back,
Wishing you knew I loved you.
I can’t find the one to blame,
So I blame myself.
I feel so bad, so sad.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

A fire is no longer burning
Dying in the ashes of night.
A good soul is now dead,
Longing for a new light.
Rejected by life,
We see a good soul die.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

The tears of mourners,
The screams of pain.
No controlling the feeling,
We go along with it.
Everyone in black,
No music to life.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

They now bury him,
Mothers fall to their knees,
Sisters stay home and bleed,
Brothers get into fights.
Fathers grieve silently,
Isn't life grand?
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death

He is gone,
Sadly Never to return,
But only in faith,
Prayers so soft and sweet.
Soaked with the rivers kiss of death,

The kiss of the river so soft and sweet,
It sweeps you off your feet,
It makes you feel youth again,
Soaked, with the rivers kiss of death,