you and your mood ring eyes
exploding in a kaleidoscope of colors
the shady brown erupts into hazel
green prisms speckled with stardust
and i am lost in your eyes
in your past memories
I can see every scar, every past regret
all the stories that make you
that shape you
and they're all captured in your eyes
the way they twinkle with delight
the solar system is alive in them
so vast and dark
lit up by stars and planets
and I am only a speck in your world
just a small fragment of love
barely shading your eyes
but I know I'm there
nestled in the back of your mind
for when the days are tough
and the nights are long
and you miss my mood ring eyes

i always catch him looking away
his hooded eyes crinkling
porcelain skin turned blood red
his nose scrunches together when he gets nervous
we aren't alone
a crowded room filled with ****** music and cheap liquor
keeping us apart
i'm smiling now, look up, look up, look up
he does
its my turn to look away
i just want to talk to you
but this boy sitting next to me
is telling me about his baseball team
i keep looking at you
oh ****
we've made eye contact
can you see my heart racing?
can you see it in my eyes that i'm in love with you?
this night drags on and i haven't spoken to you yet
but i want to
so badly
please
just speak to me

I tend to be angry a lot
and I find that my source of rage
is you
so I run
I run so fast I forget about the world around me
I focus on running from you
away from my love for you
I tend to be angry a lot
so I punch things
I hit so hard my knuckles begin to bleed
my skin turns purple and blue
I tend to be angry a lot
so I write
I write so much my fingers cramp
my back aches from being hunched over my journal for so long
my eyes red and puffy
cheeks stained by your words
and I get so angry
so engulfed by hate
but I still love you
no matter what
no matter how many pills
how many empty pages
empty bottles
I still want you
I tend to get angry a lot
and I find that my source of hatred
is you

"I'm not trying to get my hopes up. he is going out of his way to be near me and ugh I know it's all I talk about but it's because it's all I think about ahah, I hate to say it because I hate to be vulnerable but he makes me so flustered and I can't think straight and it makes me mad because I know he probably doesn't even mean anything by it but he doesn't know how crazy he's making me and I don't know what to do. I like him so much but at the same time I hate him because he is driving me insane."