why couldn’t i speak,
think of anything to say?
why didn’t i tell him
i was always just one call away?
my feelings lay in a heap,
my heart is a catastrophe.
my god,
he wouldn’t even look at me.
why am i rhyming?
i’m so beyond structure.
baby
           i
               am
                       falling
                                    apart.
                                                  you
                                                           gave
                                                   me
                                           the
                               world,
                      said
                   i
         was
your
          girl.

what                 ever
                 happened              to
forever                          and
              
                   always?

with words made of thread and
lips like a needle,
you weaved your words through me,
healed me, closed
all wounds.
but the thread was thin,
easy to break, and
with the slightest force, it snapped.
each time i turned away, there you were
with that same golden thread and those same loving lips,
ready to fix me over
and over again.
but how many times can the wound reopen
before it can’t be sewn up again?
how many times can i get my heart broken,
before learning that it’s okay not to forgive?
how many times does it take for you to pull back
until one day, finally
you just don’t come back?

you lost someone
who only wanted
to give you the world
i hope the thought
of destroying someone
who cared more about you
than any of your friends
keeps you up at night
i wanted you to be happy
they use you to get high
i hope you feel awful
for being an *******
and not just being
honest
i hope this hurts
it should

s.s