I write poems that I never finish
*the end.

I was born with wounds in my head
they tell me I’ll be better and they give me pills
but oh, nothing takes you out of
me for you are stitched into my soul
like disease.
Sometimes I want to hide in my
mother’s womb and build
a fortress of all the tears we’ve cried
you and I
so there's a bed
and there’s our bodies intertwined
like homes that swallow the skies
and dance under the pouring rain
and during hurricanes
there’s a body and there’s another
there’s a pill and there’s the other
and there’s my dry mouth begging for
a drizzle, from your soul, boy.

**** medications.

She, was in love
Like all of us
And like all of us
and in a storyline manner,
She
fell out of love.

Pretty usual you may think
but here's what the story is

To me, she's pretty shy but very outgoing at the same time
She may be a character from your favorite romantic comedy
She's a wildflower, reckless and powerful
But you probably won't see that
She's got a certain fire in her eyes
and savors life like a little kid savors ice cream

At the bottom of a glass
A little bit of liquid courage
maybe to forget
maybe to move on
or maybe in revenge

We all convince ourselves that we're so over it
But deep down
in your heart resides a little dust to be cleared off
in your heart there's a room for person who's not there anymore
in your heart, someone intoxicating your whole body
like the bad apple in the trunk

But what you should know is that it's not too late to find the bad apple
what you should know is that you can clean up the room
refurnish a house
make it a home
for someone else
but more importantly for yourself

love yourself first
and when love comes knocking at your door,
open it with a smile
and say please come in,
I've been waiting for you

*and that's a beautiful, tragic , love

and she deserves all of the love in the world

We age
We decay
We die

you can't fill that emptiness inside you
you can only set it free

I keep falling back into my mind.

A dark abyss of nothing...

The hateful place where I shouldn't exist.

With haunted buildings and streets

And the shards of yesterday's ruined memories.

I don't belong anywhere anymore...

Even out at night in the cold on these dark forbidden cobblestones...

With broken lamps to guide me away from here, I run.

I only wish to die peacefully and be able to sleep forever in the warmth of a bed hidden in the place i dreamed was my lost home, once so many years ago.

And so as time goes on around me, the last sight my eyes ever catch would be the scarlet trails running down my motionless skin.

As silver metal shines between the cracks of my closing eyes, the fading color drains from my body as the final breath is stolen in the chilly fall air.

My body is returned to the earth at last

Yes, we've met before,
on a chilly night in November.

I remember the taste of you so vividly...
it almost kills me.

The pinkish liquid strayed down the side of the bottle I kept it in, trying desperately for an escape just the same as I.

I didn't drink to destroy the loneliness of this torn heart, but instead to feel better about what was happening outside my bedroom door.

Each night I wondered why I was ever born if I am not wanted, and I fear I may never know the true answer.

The house is barely ever silent anymore, on the rare occasions it is, it is only me. Atleast aside from those unnerving silences right around each tense moment hanging in the air.

The atmosphere here is full of anger and in my case, fear.
I want to leave but I know that right now I cannot do so.

I eye the hidden drink as it calls to me from its place. I can no longer resist. This drink could be my new savior, because I do not know how much more severing my skin can take.

Even now the opening of flesh must be plotted out carefully and precisely at the right time, or else it may be found and another night of fear may ensue.

Tears flood out so easily now but the alcohol seems to hinder them.

This drink, I know, will destroy me in the end. But I always knew I'd amount to nothing more.

The way it does nothing at all to "fix me" or erase all my painful memories makes me dislike it heavily...
Yet at the same time, it could be my new and improved home.