Thousands of us were displaced
Started careers late
Not lucky enough to have had great jobs

So we work hard
Put ourselves through night school
While taking care of family

Finally ...
Yes, yeah,  whoopee
Did it !
Once again completed school

Another certificate added to the growing list of achievements.
More bills owed to uncle Sam

Going on numerous job interviews
No one's responding
Instead ...
All this knowledge stored in your head

Current jobs pays minimum wages
Those colleges attended; mounting

When you try to get ahead  -
They hold on to their employments
As if,
It's Rocket science

Looking for younger, greener admits

Once AARP comes a knocking on
Your door
You know they don't want your
Expertise anymore

What's one to do
Still strong, healthy, seasoned
Educated, no strings to boot

Hopelessly stuck in a world of
"We will call you "

So at the tender age of fifty
Thoughts of starting your own business floats in your head

Right
Now, back to school
For another certificate
A chance to use that knowledge
Put bread on the table
Feel useful

Quality of life renewed.

JRap /2016

I took a nice long walk,
and had a very nice talk
went down my  driveway
past old man pickles...
wearing old flannels and boots,
tipping his John Deere cap
relying on his cane in vain
down to the edge of everything
to my  favorite secluded path
just past familiar borders,
where a mossy stone fox
and 2 giant maple trees
guard her entrance
down laden paths of brick red
and burning orange
...I press on,
woodland creatures
scurrying & hurrying about
no doubt getting ready
for Old Man Winter visiting

As a chubby squirrel
sits happy and thankful
for the crumbs I laid down
I give the eager fox a pat
on the head,
thanking him and asking my charge

Agreeing to the terms,
signing a waiver
traveling deep in the woods
to a glen  
with a canopied
ceiling of golden mustard,
greeted by an eager ******
cutting wood
Past the foggy bog
and past his favored log
at last I hear the croaking frog

Where I suddenly
saw some very interesting
....looking people
they are obviously not from here,
  I'd say,
I know these woods well
they brought a pet,
we've never met
but a wonderful way
to meet and greet
thank you guardians of the forest

"Adorable dog"  
my hand reaching from my side...
smiling at the newcomers
and to my critter friends

"Oh, my ...he looks just like a giant
toasted marshmallow,
so perfectly groomed,
a very beautiful animal,
so curious he is"
I compliment the hound

The gentleman was just that
Said how friendly he is
Brought him right over, for a pat

Of course, me...
I get down on one knee
talking to the furry fellow
'bout the crooning drops of yellow
communicating
he looks in my eyes,
& past my disguise
and sits,
patiently,
gracious and thankful
for the new friend
and bidding adieu
to some old,
but not forgotten acquaintances
"We understand one another"
I chuckle warmly...

The two ladies looking on
in seeming horror
& utter disbelief
so I think, anyway...
that I'm gonna get *****
doing such a thing?

That is until she blurts out
unable to restrain herself
seeing her lips fumble with thoughts
"Interesting get-up you have on"

I ponder the comment,
not wanting to say anything just yet,
I squint my eyes to see her face
then I look at her & quietly say

"Likewise my lady, interesting indeed"
the gentleman smirking at me
giving a wink, perhaps
hoping she doesn't  notice
then she goes on to say...

"That shirt, is...
perfect, I love the natural look
such quaint embroidery"

I again ponder,
speaking,
with a thoughtful reply & a sigh
"Quaint, by definition,
meaning...
old-fashioned, charming, sweet, picturesque?
Or more like bizzare
unique, offbeat & unconventional?
Then I agree, all of those are fine compliments, my Grandmother,
a Native American...
hand stitched this beautiful piece,
colors of Fall
I am just like Vermont & this place"
I laugh low for a second...
admirin' the trees clapping happily

She stared at me
with a puzzled face
one, I'm sure I won't soon replace...

The gentleman now smiling
into his discomfort,
when the other, lady pipes in...

"Your Grandmother, you don't say?
well... I suppose if you take it away
that tattered old sweatshirt over it,
those faded blue corduroy pants...
& those shoes....I just can't..."

Now I'm getting,
a tad bit irritated
though amusing still
remembering the goal
to help those weary souls
I look off to the side,
staring in one direction...
gaining insight
still thinking,
... the second lady chiming in

"Yes, so true..has potential,
how much for the shirt dearie?
It might be worth something"
... urging the other gal on

As the gentleman
steps back in disbelief
I'd imagine anyway,
not uttering a sound now

Now my one eye,
the left one is twitching
I look at her, I stare on,
as her mind I'm bewitching
keep on looking at the stitching
as I call out my Grandma,
to tell me exactly
...what to say,

"Anyway, thank you, I think.
I happen to love everything I'm wearing, especially these shoes.
You know what they say about walking a mile in someone else's?
I might consider loaning them to you if I knew you better, except the thing is,
like this place, like this land ...
and people are never supposed
to be for sale, this piece of history,
the weaving of my family ...
is not for sale either,
for any price each stitch in time
is priceless, so I am sorry,
but no deal ma'am.
Hope you enjoy this beautiful place, thinking yes,
by the look on your face?"

Befuddled and speechless...
the gentleman finally speaking,

"Oh, I think she means that this place is so interesting and amazing.
We probably should get going, get some lunch.
Very nice to meet you though."
The brushoff?
a nervous calm falling over

Humphhhh..

A good idea and distraction
as they hem and haw  
about being "famished"
I offer...

"Famished?
Can't have that.
You mean to say,
you went all this way,
and you didn't squirrel something
to eat
in that ***** pack?

Pulling out a yummy sandwich
slinging a worn backpack,

"I have drinks in there too,
lovely lemonade & some nuts,
dark chocolates even.
Perhaps some things in there
I forgot about, best not to venture out
into these woods with nothing.

"Here you go, take this,
I won't take no for an answer"

Stunned and stupefied she just reaches out and humbly replies
"Thank you, I think?"

I smile and say
"You are most welcome,
thank my Grandmother
and thank you for coming,
enjoy your stay"
I wave them on

"How do I thank her dear girl?
  Is she still with us?"

Now I am quiet
I look to the heavily
opening in the trees
"look and you will see"
I point upward reaching
my hands are teaching
drawings in slow motion
as the trees open to the sky
colors gradate and radiate
a red tailed hawk comes by
the largest one I know
completely in awe they are,
as I slip off...

Something whispered under breath,
"Can you believe that?
Where'd she come from anyway"

Then,
looking in the bag,
he reaches in opening
the sandwich
and bites...
chewing on goodness

"Oh, wow, this is amazing,
this is just delicious,
everything you could want, try it"

the man offering to the ladies

Unable to resist a satisfying nibble, tempted by fate, they take a bite,
"your absolutely right"
she declares...
"and such a lovely lady she is"

"Hey where'd she go?"

"Why, I don't know..."

"Gone like a wisp,
you can tell she is deeply rooted
in this place and such a
beautiful place it is"

they see eye to eye

"With so many valuable lessons
to learn along this yellow wooded path"
as they all agree,
satisfied with their journey
eager to push on...

"Did she mean that bird is a spirit?
Her Grandmother?
Maybe she is a ghost too?"
They are definately wondering...

"So true and I'm kinda of full,
  how about you?"
He states, poignantly adding
"Let's try some of that chocolate"
sampling the lemonade
and roasted nuts
topped off with that sweetness
tasting the menu of sharing

From  behind the tree
where I'm sitting
I have a VERY big smile covering
  that clever, wily face

Knowing I'm not seen
letting out a giggle  
as they turn in wonder
I know the secrets of this place
all its words
and where
it echoes

the loudest.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I met this girl
Who couldn't speak,
But signed
And sighed she loved me.

I met this girl
With discerning taste,
Who held the virtue
Of human grace.

I met this girl
Who couldn't hear,
But felt me beat,
And knows my tears.

I met this girl
Who had the touch,
She wasn't one
To demand so much.

I met this girl
Who couldn't see,
Perhaps that's why
She's in love with me.

Atlas and the daughter of unknown origins*

My world revolves around you,
father,
you held the sky when I was born,
small goddess, I lay,
at your feet.
You cried and it was raining in my atmosphere,
I think you said I was lovely,
though my small ears could only hear
so far beyond the clouds.

I don't know what you've done,
some dreadful deed unrealised,
until I asked for you to kiss my cheeks
and you couldn't reach
so low.

I thought of you,
Atlas, Atlas,
protecting a face you'd never seen.
Stretching space into itself
so that I could breathe.
I thought of you,
Atlas,
when you didn't think of me.

I found Odysseus floating in the sea.

He looked like you,
he looked like Zeus and all his long-haired wives
and all their children too.
Odysseus the bravest,
the true.

(I loved him far too much,
before I knew what love could be,
a thing of claws and teeth).

Father, that man stole away
with all the bitter-sweetness of my name,

"I cannot do this anymore,"
Calypso, hide,
"I will tell them all you lied,"
Calypso, hide,
"you are a thing of shame."

Odysseus broke my heart,
Atlas missed the beat.

i have survived
storms.
i have survived a father's voice like thunder;
handprint lightning flowers petal over my skin
like i am a garden to sinners-
adam and eve call my grassroots their home and hum lullabies-
i have survived
anger.
pros and cons of
clock-ticking therapy sessions where money is thrown at my gaze,
fixed on the wall,
dollar-a-second drumming fingers
screaming so loud that heaven shuts the blinds and hangs a "closed" sign on the door.
pros and cons of
stumbling home,
under a murky peerless crowd of smoke,
slurring words trail around and behind me like moths to a porchlight.
morning headaches,
angry adults
damaging drywall and breaking family portraits
exhausting search for answers
exhausting search in a silence that lengthens the disconnect from child to mother
where your mind goes red and the honest truth that stays stuck to the roof of your mouth falls out
where you become an overflowing mailbox and your hands shake
the absence of parents who never taught you to hold your tongue
i have survived
hurt.
i have survived the specific type of loss that you feel in the pit of your stomach
the one that lies next to you
when you stare at the ceiling and your face hurts from crying
tears scrub your eyelids raw and you promise,
"if i ever make it through this,
i will never be here again."
i have survived giving up,
taking it all back, throwing it all away,
parallel structures of contemplation and decision
i have survived
lonely.
angry storms of abandonment, melodies of the lonely and the hurt
i reprise to the ones that add injury to insult,
you are not the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
i echo choruses to the people that force me to grow up at sixteen
i have destruction embedded into my neurotransmitters
i have shooting post-traumatic pain in my memories
i have survived
a hell that your hands are not stained enough to touch.
i assure you,
my love,
i will survive
you as well

to not be able to live with yourself
dispirited tormented soul
crawling for the shadows
in fear and shame