One day i will leave you.
Dont you dare say you weren't warned.
One day i will leave you.
Thats not a threat darling, its a promise.
The clock is ticking.

My mother is the type to tell me "oh, so you want to be alone? Fine. Ill be alone with you."
She gives me my space. And yet she doesnt leave me alone. I will never look back and wonder why she wasnt there. Everywhere i turn i feel her presence.. everywhere.
She wont pressure me to talk. And yet her silence will make me tell it all.
I feel as if my mom is special. And no one could ever replace her.
I would hate to disappoint her or bury her in my problems.
"I will not leave you, i will only built columns, to protect you from your hollow."
This has been proved to me and followed.
I have many challenges to overcome. All piled up so high.. i am climbing a mountain i am all ready on top of. A pile i say so reaching so high.. Its hard to miss.
Many problems created in my own head that she will destroy with the strongest love known to man. Its funny how all she has to do is hold me close and lend a hand.
Her galaxy sunflower eyes make me feel reassurance.
Her galaxy sunflower eyes have seen much more then possibly imagined. She shares with me her stories and wonders, and walls shes had climbed over.
Her long dark hair defines her strong and willing power. Strength shes carried all this years.  
I am not glass. I do not brake. I am not broken. I know this. She makes me believe it. I am not broken. yet she fixes me with every tight hug pressuring all of my broken pieces into one full heart.
Her Glowing skin shines in the sun and in the darkest room. She will make a statement without saying a word.
Her glance will make the strong tremble and the weak fierce. She is the perfect example of the most imperfect person. And to me? That. Is perfect.

"Its going to be ok, Everything takes time." How is it that everyone believes this but her? That is simple of course. But yet so hard to understand, that she only wants one person to hold her hand. When she falls asleep she doesnt count sheep, she only counts how many times they have kissed. She will now visualize every park they went to. Spit on the ground and cry like its been forever. She will hate every song he played her and every song she sang too. The butterflies on her belly yell "i hate you". Her warm cheeks, that were once kissed, turn cold. Her soft hands, that were once held, are lonely. She used to hug him, now she hugs memories, the pillow and sheets.  With all this, she whispers in her sleep, "its going to be ok, everything takes time." If only she believed it and didn't end her life.

I will be perfect. Is what she says in her mind before her dinner is all over the toilet floor. I will be perfect is what she says while skipping a meal or two. No thank you is what she says to an innocent candy offered to her. As her boyfriend kisses her and says "you're perfect" she is only thinking about the sudden urge of being thin. That with time it isnt so sudden anymore. She wants to be wraped around his arms with ease. She looks down at the scale and cries. 126.3 pounds of shame. She could lose it all and still be full of loneliness. Her smile is magnificent. Who will ever see her fear? Every scar on her wrist is a reminder of what she will never be. Perfect. Its funny how no one will understand how much time it took for her to get so empty she hurts herself in desire to be beautifully perfect.