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Sam Oct 2016
I can't take back what I said.
I can't travel back in time to reverse the outcome.
I can't magically make everything perfect.

I can sit here, and wait.
I can get up, and move on.
I can switch back and forth, never finalizing a decision.

I can't choose,
I can't know what the future holds,
I can't forget.

I can keep asking,
I can keep clarifying.
I can stay.

Can't I?
I don't know, I just, I need, I want, I can't, I-I just don't know.
Sam Oct 2016
It's true what they say:

*Once it starts,
it doesn't stop
Sam Oct 2016
I wish there was a way...
I wish I could...
I wish...
I can wish all I want,
They won't come true.
Because my first wish,
still has yet to be delivered.
{I apologize}
Sam Oct 2016
I know now I have the ability,
I was scared for so long that I was broken.
But turns out, I wasn't.
Because water doesn't flow from the vase,
unless a crack has been put in it.
Sam Oct 2016
The genres in life,
change everything.

Feeling happy:
Country

Feeling confused:
Alternative

Feeling upset:
Hard Rock

Feeling sad:
Slow Country

Feeling powerful:
Rap

Feeling excited:
Kpop

Music can change moods,
It can be played anytime.
When it matches up with the mood,
Circuts connect,
Everything finally feels right.
Sam Oct 2016
Things near and far,
will never change,
the here and now.

Things can  last forever,
or never start,
Nobody can see in the furture.

Things will prospure,
and never lose.
the positives.

Things will end,
and never begin,
the negatives.

Things near and far,
will never change,
the hear and now
Sam Oct 2016
just say the words, ******
come on, you don't have all day
(whispers) I-I-.....
******, they didn't even hear you try
The action races through my head,
the possibilities are endless.
Can't I just text them, Won't that be easier??
No, Sam, no. you have to do this in person
"I am...."
they still didn't hear you, you were always too quiet
come on, you had enough strength the first time
little bit more, you got this
"
I* am..."
say it, look they stopped talking for you
come on, now you made it more awkward
"Are you okay?"
"Oh What? Silly me, yes of course I am fine. I just wanted to tell you something"
nice save? not really, now you have their full attention
"Okay, I'm here, what is it?"
****** ****** ****** I can't do this nope nope nope
breathe, you got this
why is this so hard? I've done this before
oh my god are you actually doing this
is this a good idea
run, run as fast as possible back to the closet
NO GOD ****** SAM JUST SAY IT
"I'm gay, not straight. Well, maybe I'm bisexual, I'm not sure yet."
what the **** was that
oh god what do they think of me
silence...silence not good NOT GOOD
and um you identify as biromantic homosexual, but sure close enough
STILL SILENCE SAY SOMETHING
"Oh! I wasn't expecting that, but okay! Whomever you love is fine with me"
"I-uh-um-Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me....
I'm rambling
I can't stop myself from going on
what am I even saying anymore?
oh god I can't stop shaking
it's okay, they accept you, you're fine
or am I fine
Do they actually accept me?
How do I know the truth?
SHHHHH JUST STOP SAM YOUR FINE GOD
...and so basically Thank you so much again."
silence again, I said too much
I'm just going to stop talking....
...and thinking
they can do the rest of the work
*because in reality, that was **** exhausting
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